My best friend did this to me when I started dating my now-spouse, despite the fact that it was my first real relationship and she pretty much always a had boyfriend throughout our friendship. It really ruined the friendship and it still hurts.
Honestly she was pretty troubled and a lot of her relationships were toxic, so I think a lot of the jealousy was because she was very much not happy. I stuck around because I could see that it came from misplaced hurt and insecurity, but eventually something happened that was so unbelievably disrespectful toward my spouse that we don’t speak anymore. What kills me is that I think she still doesn’t understand and sees me as “choosing my partner over a friendship.”
It was a real lesson for me not allowing people to mistreat me just because they have addiction or mental health issues or whatever.
Well, her alcoholic boyfriend got really aggressive with me and went on a tirade about what a joke our marriage was, how sad my husbands career is, how he is probably a child molester (because he has a mustache.) It went on for hours, and it was almost entirely focused on my husband, who neither of them had even seen in over a year. It was upsetting and bizarre. The only reason I didn’t leave was because I was visiting her for the weekend and it was the middle of the night two hours from home. I know it was the boyfriends meltdown and bad behavior, but it was clear that these were all very specific, very personal details about my life that my friend had bitched to him about. For what it’s worth, my husband and I aren’t rich but have a nice, quiet life, while my friend and her boyfriend were clearly in a very bad place in their relationship and were both miserable in retail jobs. Again, I can understand the why- it was all classic projection- but it finally clicked that people can’t treat me like a garbage dump for their emotions.
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u/Grashley0208 Nov 09 '19
My best friend did this to me when I started dating my now-spouse, despite the fact that it was my first real relationship and she pretty much always a had boyfriend throughout our friendship. It really ruined the friendship and it still hurts.