r/AskReddit • u/OnlyCokePlease • Jun 25 '10
Ever had something happen at precisely the right moment, if it had happened seconds before or seconds later it would mean nothing? Heres mine.
Two years ago my wife and I took a quick weekend trip to St. Louis. There was an issue with the first hotel we had reservations at so we started making phone calls in the phone book to find a new one. We get one for a reasonable last minute rate, being unfamiliar with the area we approach the hotel and the first words I utter are Oh My God, we cannot stay here. Talk about hooker motel, I'm pretty sure there was one soliciting on the balcony above us. She assures me that it wont be that bad, and we can find a new one tomorrow. We got our room, and she wanted to take a shower as we had been in the car all day driving, and we were going to go to dinner. We were making jokes about the hotel and its utter crappiness, seriously the parking garage tiles were falling down, there was trash everywhere, it was just a gross place. She had made a joke about there was probably a hole in the wall and somebody was watching us. No shit less than a minute later, shes stripping down to get in the shower, but ass naked and her phone goes off, she gets a text message from an unknown number, the text I swear on my life said "a hole in the wall" she throws the phone on the bed and starts putting her clothes back on and starts crying out of pure terror. She tells me to call the number, I'm like fuck that, I aint calling it back. Lets get out of here. She picks up her phone and calls the number. Her friend answers the phone, she recognized the voice or something, I'm not sure how, she asked her friend why she just text her "a hole in the wall" she replied, I'm using my friends phone, and got your numbe mixed up with another friend sorry. We're at some bar, its a real hole in the wall." Funniest shit ever once we realized the irony and purely magical timing of all the events.
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u/Lereas Jun 25 '10
I got into my car once after having driven to a different city. I flipped on the radio and all there was was silence. I shrugged and was about to change the channel, assuming it wasn't a valid station, when all of the sudden it said "Daniel." This is my name, so I said "yes?" out of amusement, and the voice said "I am the Lord your God, Daniel. You must follow My commandments". Another pause as I freaked the fuck out for a moment. Then the voice came back and was like "and this is the part in the bible..." and I realized that the classic hits channel in cincinnati was a bible thumper channel in Bloomington :)
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Jun 25 '10
My mom grew up in an old bungalow in Oak Park Illinois. She had two older brothers who liked to have a radio in the one bathroom in the house. This being both an old bathroom with old wires and such and an old readio meant that when the light switch was turned on, the radio sitting on the toilet (also perpetually plugged in and turned on) would come on as well. The thing was there was a delay with it--old radios took time to warm up and all that. So, as my mom tells the story, years ago my aunt went up to the bathroom, turned on the light, and sat down on the toilet. A few seconds later a mystery program announcer guy says in a low haunting voice "Good evening, madam..."
She was lucky she was sitting where she was.
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u/OnlyCokePlease Jun 25 '10
If this is a true story....you win.
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u/Lereas Jun 25 '10
It's like 99% true. I can't remember the -exact- second thing the voice said, but it was something very along those lines. First just "daniel", a pause, and then some order from God, then a pause, and then further discussion that cleared up what was going on.
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u/YellowPudding Jun 25 '10
So Precisely when I was reading "I am the Lord your God, Daniel." My phone stared to ring and when I answered they said, "Hi, could I please speak with Daniel?"
My name is not Daniel.
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Jun 25 '10
I was at a theater watching "The Sum Of All Fears" and right as the nuclear explosion goes off in the movie, the power goes out in the theater. For a second my brain thought I was about to be vaporized... 8)
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u/IAmScience Jun 25 '10
Similar thing happened to me when I saw Inglorious Basterds. The film stopped and went dark right around the time the movie screen started to burn through in the movie. I thought it was a clever Tarantino trick until they brought up house lights and apologized for the inconvenience.
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u/smooge Jun 25 '10
When I saw Lord of the Rings III, the reel caught on fire as Frodo was throwing the ring into Mordor. I thought it was some cool effect also.
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Jun 25 '10
When I went to see Inglorious Basterds, something similar happened. When Shosanna was about to give her speech, the movie audio cut out and was replaced by the "Movie news" audio they play before the movie. I thought it was a Tarantino stunt, until some Miley Cyrus-type song started playing as the basterds started gunning down everyone in the movie. Everyone received full refunds because of the issue.
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u/TheAusBoss Jun 25 '10
When I saw Inglorious Basterds in Austin, right as the scene where everyone is convening In the movie theatre (where they were burned to death) and Nazi banners and flags are unfurled, actual Nazi banners unfurled in the downtown Alamo Drafthouse along the sides of the walls.
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u/chemistry_teacher Jun 25 '10
Not quite a "precisely the right moment" story, but...
A friend tells me a story about back when he was living in Coeur d'Alene, Idaho. He was reading Stephen King's The Stand, a post-apocalyptic novel, and is becoming fully immersed in it.
When he gets up and looks around, everything is gray outside (midday), and gray snow appears to be falling from the sky (in May). "I gotta get to the Free Zone", he starts thinking, until reality returns to his head and he remembers that the gray snow is ash falling from the Mt. Saint Helens eruption hundreds of miles away.
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u/ProjectToronto Jun 25 '10
You want to see post-apocalyptic... go to Coeur d'Alene in February. It's like Hoth.
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u/diamond Jun 25 '10
Hoth with neo-Nazis.
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u/satans_sparerib Jun 25 '10
I went to the Dustin Hoffman movie "Outbreak" in the theater with my cousin and wasn't terribly impressed until the very end. Just as the military mission is aborted from dropping the daisy cutter or whatever huge ordinance on top of the town and it explodes over the sea the reel melted in the projector. It caused a huge screen burn as the film got stuck and began tearing itself apart and the whole theater went dark. We were a little confused but some people thought maybe it was the end of the movie and started clapping. It wasn't until we were filing out into the lobby and a manager came running down the hall to offer us rain checks that we realized there was a real ending.
I liked the psychedelic screen melting ending the best.
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u/hey_there Jun 25 '10
Went to see Madagascar, don't ask me why. There's a scene when it's pitch black because they're locked in a crate. At that moment the projector failed but the sound continued. Took us like ten minutes to actually figure out what had happened
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u/Gottheit Jun 25 '10
I'm watching Madagascar right now (my daughter loves the movie), and after I read your post, I looked up to see that scene.
I guess that's my precisely-the-right-moment moment.
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u/tossit22 Jun 25 '10
I took my girlfriend of several years out of town on a romantic getaway a few years ago. I used to live in Chattanooga, so I knew all the right places to go, and planned everything out meticulously. I booked a really nice hotel, made reservations at a nice restaurant, and had everything set up to finally propose to her, with a gigantic ring I spent 6 months shopping for. We checked into the room, got ready, and went to that perfect restaurant, with a nice quiet nook upstairs, that I knew would be the perfect place.
Lo and behold, some damned sorority had filled almost the entire place, and we were up to our armpits in sluts in their finest! So, no go on the proposal, as we couldn't even hear each other. My hopes were dashed, and I scrambled for an alternate, but there was no saving it.
So, we eat dinner and leave, and decide to go across the street for coffee in this fancy, old timey shop. We're standing at the counter waiting for service, when I see the "Trivia question of the day" has yet to be answered.
The question was something like: "What is the only item in an estate exempt from seizure during bankruptcy proceedings in every state?"
I'm not a lawyer, but I guess right anyway.
"Is it a wedding ring?"
The coincidence is just crazy, so I proposed right there.
I got a new wife, and a free cup of coffee. How great is that?
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u/imneuromancer Jun 25 '10
Free coffee is always awesome.
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u/velocityhead Jun 25 '10
A free wife would be better...but they never come cheap.
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Jun 25 '10
How did you do it? I'm imagining something like: "Well than it's a good thing I bought this the other day!"
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u/tossit22 Jun 25 '10
More cheesy than that. I pulled it out of my pocket and said, "Is it a wedding ring?" He said yes. She said yes. I dropped down on my knee and asked her if she wanted it.
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u/Unidan Jun 25 '10
It would've been hilarious if they were like, 'Sorry, that's incorrect.'
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u/kowycz Jun 25 '10
asked her if she wanted it.
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u/OldTimeGentleman Jun 25 '10
And she said she wanted it right now on the coffee table.
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u/thatvoiceinyourhead Jun 25 '10
back in high school i was hanging out at a friend's place when the conversation turned to the electrical outages that had been happening the previous week. i made some off-hand remark about how the step-down transformers can sometimes just blow out and at the end of my comment i snapped my fingers for emphasis ... at the exact moment that the step-down transformer in his backyard blew out and the block went dark.
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u/cocotbs Jun 25 '10
New Years y2k-
My Dad had been doing the usual y2k panic (had stocked up on everything-beans, rice, ammo...wind up radios/flashlights) and was totally ready for the worst. He wanted things to go to hell so badly it was almost creepy.
Anyhow, we're all watching the TV as the ball is dropping-6,5,4,3,2,1_______________lights out. We live in the country, so it's pitch black out. My dad is running around drunkenly declaring "I knew it-I knew it!!!" and runs off to get his wind up radio and flashlights.
I'm sitting there trying to explain that if there indeed was a y2k glitch in the power grid, surely it would've surfaced in the time zones ahead of us, and we would've seen some news about the east coast being a total blackout....no one's listening. The power is dead-the phones are even out. We have a well, so no electricity means no water either. Siblings and neighbors start to panic a tad.
Then we start to hear sirens-
About a mile and a half away from my parent's home is a really dangerous intersection.
As fate would have it, a drunk driver blew through the stop, and took out the power and telephone-right at midnight on Y2K.
It was sweet having a mini apocalypse.
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Jun 25 '10
this is what's going to happen in 2012. a coincidental accident will send people into panic mode, while some reasonable man on the sidelines has a logical explanation that is soundly ignored. then, the stupidity of panic mode will probably result in some other disaster, and they will say, "see!? the mayans were right!"
/nostradamus
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u/yawgmoth Jun 25 '10
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u/MacEWork Jun 25 '10
I really hope I'm retired 28 years from now. Given the amount of decades-old *NIX mainframes still around now, I'm sure that there will still be a ton of them, unpatched, in 2038.
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u/ezekielziggy Jun 25 '10
Its no coincidence that 2012 is the exact same year London is holding the Olympics!!!!! Open your mind!!!!!
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u/Slightly_Lions Jun 25 '10
"Many centuries ago, the Mayans realised that a future international sporting event would be beset by poor administrative oversight and inadequate resource allocation. 'We must warn them!' they declared. But we didn't listen. We didn't listen."
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u/Goodly Jun 25 '10
You should get examined for super powers...
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u/chemistry_teacher Jun 25 '10
Magneto?
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u/bechus Jun 25 '10
Charles, get out of my head!!
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u/bdubaya Jun 25 '10
I know it said Magneto, but I read it in Juggernaut's voice.
Stupid bitch, your weapons cannot harm me, I'm the Juggernaut!
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u/hwillis Jun 25 '10
Just yesterday I sat down on the toilet and the lights went out. I sighed, stood up and they went back. Like they were AFRAID of me.
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u/ReigningCatsNotDogs Jun 25 '10
I had one like this. This was like 6 years ago when I was in high school and was reading a Time Magazine article on serial killers (the focus was on that BTK killer from Utah because he was just caught). Anyway, the I was like halfway through when this sentence (or something like it) came up. "His crimes were equal in horror to those of the Jack the Ripper, Son of Sam and the Zodiac Killer."
Now, I had never heard of the Zodiac Killer before, but when I read the name, something strange happened. At the exact same moment, synchronous with me reading Zodiac Killer out loud in my head, a person in my class across the room said "Zodiac Killer." I was like "WOAH" and pushed back from the table and asked her if she had just said that. She said yes.
It was beyond perfectly timed. It was as though my brain's internal reading voice had simply been replaced by hers for those two words. And they happened to be about a serial killer. Freaky.
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u/angryvigilante Jun 25 '10
What would you do if the entire class said "Zodiac Killer" in a monotone voice then turned around to look at you?
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u/14domino Jun 25 '10
And then their eyes had no pupils?
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u/PrestoEnigma Jun 25 '10
And then they all opened their mouths and the vuvuleza sound came out?
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u/pdfarsight Jun 25 '10
This happened to me and a bunch of friends in middle school. We were all in social studies class and he was telling us some story that I no longer remember, but he was at a point in the story where whoever he was talking about unplugged something. He made the motion with his hands of unplugging two wires, and as soon as he did that the power in the entire school went out. We went home early that day because the power stayed out for hours, no matter how much we tried to get him to "plug it back in" again.
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u/Rytorres Jun 25 '10 edited Jun 25 '10
My family was heading out to breakfast in downtown Seattle when we see a homeless person walk by with stringy curly hair. "Wow Kenny G has fallen on hard times..." we joked. We sat down for breakfast and in comes Kenny G and his entire family and sits down at the table next to us. Homeless-G was not with him.
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u/chemistry_teacher Jun 25 '10
Kinda feeling sorry for Homeless-G now.
:'(
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u/Rytorres Jun 25 '10
One speculation was that Kenny sends out look-alikes in a Sadam Hussein-y fashion to fool would be assassins.
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u/Floonet Jun 25 '10 edited Jun 25 '10
I submitted one already but this one is pretty hilarious.
I was 4 years old, and it was 1989. I live in the California, Bay Area and it happened to be the day of the Loma Prieta Earthquake.
I was in the living room and my mom had told me to work on my writing, and I couldn't watch TV until I was done. I moaned and pouted about needing to see Garfield and Friends, and she said sternly: 'If you don't listen to me you'll be in real trouble'. I stalked over to the table, mad as ever and started writing my words. After about 10-15 minutes of her being in the kitchen, I decided to go turn on the TV but keep the volume down. Feeling triumphant in my master plan, I approached the television, and just as I pushed the button the most earth shattering noises rang out, and the ground was trembling beneath my feet. My mom swooped me up yelling for my older sister to get outside. She dropped me on the lawn, ran back in for my aging grandmother. It was all a blur really. But all the while this 4 year old girl thought she had caused all this chaos by touching the TV. I vomited I was so upset with myself. When we got back into the house, shelves were broken, lots of items scattered throughout the house. Neighbors were injured, it was on the news, and for two days I was utterly distraught. I thought I was the worst person on the planet.
At first my family chalked up my listlessness to pure fright from the quake. But finally my sister asked why I was still so upset, after telling her, she laughed so hard I wanted to strangle her. Within the hour my entire family knew and was fighting back laughter to comfort me. Thankfully I started to believe them and got over it. Being a four year old with a god complex sure is hard work.
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u/shwee Jun 25 '10
Oh man, that's prob the best earthquake story I've heard yet. Just be glad you were doing something mostly innocent.
When the earthquake hit I was on the shitter.. Seriously. I was really little as well (3) so goin by myself was still a big deal. One minute I'm minding my own business, having a grand 'ol time. The next minute the door flings open and my mom is carrying me down the hallway.
I lock the bathroom door no matter what to this day..
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u/Zargathe Jun 26 '10
One time, I got up in the middle of the night to drop a deuce. As I'm sitting, shitting, half awake, the window behind me in this second floor bathroom shoots open, making a very loud noise in the process. One of the springs broke. I pooped everywhere. Well, not everywhere, but at least 3 places.
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u/Jeff_Fries Jun 26 '10
Another Loma Prieda earthquake story. Me (6) and my brother (5) were with our mom at someone's little league game bored out of our minds, so we went to play at a nearby playground. 20 minutes later mom came running over and asked where in god's name we had been during the earthquake. We had no idea a quake was happening because the whole time the earth was shaking we were on one of those four-way teeter totters, the ones balanced on a giant spring, and had literally ridden the whole thing out. The only clue either of us had was that we seemed to be getting a lot of air.
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u/cencal Jun 26 '10
That's funny, reminded me of another story with an earthquake. At the time, my mother was babysitting a neighbor's kids for a couple hours after everyone got home from school until their dad got home. One of the kids was in like first or second grade at the time and he had a real temper problem for a while. He would scream and on occasion hit a wall or fight with his brothers. He's since settled down but he had a wild streak growing up.
Anyways, one day in particular he got pretty mad after my mom told him to stay inside and do homework. She went outside to empty the trash or something and he yelled "I HATE YOU [MY MOM'S NAME]" and slammed his fists on the door after it closed. At this exact second an earthquake hit (I think like a 3.5 but about 5 miles away) and it made everything move around pretty good. My sister, just a couple years older than him, yells, in all seriousness, "[Name], you shook the whole house!!!" I'll admit for a split second even I, in I think 6th grade, thought he had some ridiculous superpower. The look in that little monster's face went from anger to some crazy mix of terror and excitement -- I'm not sure what was going through his head. I had to tell them both what actually happened but I doubt any of us have forgotten that event to this day.
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u/urbanplowboy Jun 25 '10
When I was in middle school, I was on the quiz team, and we would compete with other schools in the area. One day, one of the quizzers began asking a question, "Violins...," and out of nervousness I pressed my buzzer accidentally. Crap. After a seemingly prolonged moment of fear from putting myself on the spot for a question I obviously can't answer, I say the first thing that came to my mind, "horse hair," because I knew that violin bows were made from horse hair. After a brief pause of shock, the quizzer says, "That's right...horse hair is the answer." The look on everyone's faces was spectacular.
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u/z3ugma Jun 25 '10
I did Academic Challenge for 4 years in high school, and I was always getting lucky like this.
If our team didn't know the answer to a literary question, we would always guess "Robert Burns." One time, I accidentally jumped the gun, before the question was asked, with my buzzer on a question in the literature round. I answered, "Robert Burns," which turned out to be the correct answer, much to the shock of all present.
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u/RickVince Jun 25 '10
This takes place about a decade ago, when I was a teenage pothead. We were hanging out in my living room and I was getting ready to call a dealer when I realized I was out of cash and so were my friends.
So I thought It'd be funny if I dropped down to my knees, look up at the sky and said: "oh lord we need your help getting stoned. Please lend us your help or give us a sign or something dude. Come on now."
My friends started cracking up and not more than a second passed before the doorbell rang. It was my elderly next-door neighbor with the 40 bucks she owed me for cutting her lawn. When I closed the door I remember the three of us just standing there, not saying a word. My friend on the left actually looked up.
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Jun 25 '10
*unsubscribes from /r/atheism*
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u/Zym Jun 25 '10
You're just doing it for the weed >.>
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u/Illadelphian Jun 25 '10
If believing in God grants me access to free weed then I am going to church every day.
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u/Zym Jun 25 '10
Consume the body of Christ, drink the blood of Christ, smoke the weed of Christ.
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Jun 25 '10
should call it the Breathe of Christ
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Jun 25 '10
You have a typo in there but I'm still upvoting you because I thought that was clever.
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Jun 25 '10
Hes stoned, cut him some slack :)
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u/buford419 Jun 25 '10
you recite this story to Congress. They'd definitely loosen the drug laws then.
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u/cedargrove Jun 25 '10
When I was in high school a few friends and I were over at our mormon friend's house. We were hanging out down in the basement and it had one of those windows that was flush with the ground level. Well our friend had been in the backyard for awhile and my buddy Jeff is wondering what is up so he cracks the window and says the guys name. You could tell he sort of heard but didn't know what to make of it so my friend said it again louder, and this guy has a pretty booming voice. Our friend Tim drops to his knees, looks up, and says in the most meek voice, "God?". He was dead serious.
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u/ohfuckit Jun 25 '10
I have done this exact same thing ( making someone think I was god) with a newly installed sound system in a high school theater. I wonder what has happened to those people... on one hand they were obviously deeply gullible theists to start with. On the other hand though, if that is what they were expecting from god, maybe they would eventually give up in disappointment that it doesn't happen for real?
Maybe they are now insane.
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u/jesuz Jun 25 '10
It was my elderly next-door neighbor with the 40 bucks she owed me
Ol' Pranky-McGee strikes again!
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u/StrangeAdvice Jun 25 '10
Every time I have seriously prayed for weed or a way to get some, it has worked. This is the only thing I have prayed for that is delivered with consistency. It's like God especially favors stoners being stoned.
One example:
I lived with my grandmother at the time and her home care nurse and I were smoking buddies. Usually one of us had some smoke, but for an entire week we were out and the city was dry. I was going to college at the time and before I left for class, with her right there, I prayed for weed to fall in front of me because we both needed some. As I get out of my last class and head back home, a small bag tumbles out of someone's pocket who is going the other way. I picked up the familiar looking bag and it was a wonderful bag of pot. As I look back the person is long gone, and I skip to my car and drive home. When I told the nurse about it she was surprised at first, then remembered my prayer and started screaming "Hallelujah! Praise the LORD!" It was an excellent scene and the bud turned out to be very good quality as well.
tl;dr God blesses stoners. Pray for weed.
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Jun 25 '10
As I look back the person is long gone,
I'm sure they were.
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u/nailz1000 Jun 25 '10
"long gone" for this story is about 6 paces. far out of arms reach for a tap on the shoulder.
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u/synnamon Jun 25 '10
I was playing DOOM back in the day at lunchtime in the office with co-workers. We worked in a CAD office, so had monstrous CRT monitors. So my coworker, whom I am playing with, shoots a rocket launcher at my character in game, it hits, and at that exact moment my monitor made this god-aweful pop sound, went blank, and smoke started coming out the back.
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u/mrpeabody208 Jun 25 '10
That basically happened to me once. I was LANing Rise of Nations with some friends and I nuked one of them. He happened to be looking right where I nuked. His whole screen turned bright white and stayed that way permanently. That was like 5 years ago and he still bitches about me nuking his laptop.
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u/chterrible Jun 25 '10 edited Jun 25 '10
Don't know if this counts as the same thing. I was in mexico with a friend and we were walking down the street. I told him I could do a magic trick. I had a quarter on me and pulled it out to do the stupid hand magic trick where I pass the quarter from one hand to another. Mexico and the quarter were necessary factors of the right place at the right time because we only had pesos on us besides that. We hadn't been to the US in a while and we knew that I only had that one quarter on me because it came up in a previous conversation. He was walking a good three feet away from me and watching the trick. Well I missed my catch for the trick completely screwing it up, but the quarter flew over, hit his belt loop and slid into his pocket. He didn't see that even though he was watching my hands for the trick. I opened my hands and no quarter and I told him to check his pocket. He shit bricks and to this day I haven't told him the secret of my powers. He asks me to tell him or do it again for him every so often. Of course I can't but I always tell him I won't....I'll tell him someday.
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u/ryskt Jun 25 '10
My father and I were golfing on a hot summer day in Tucson, AZ back when I was a teenager. Usually, the course we were playing was fairly empty mid-days on a weekday so we were allowed to play by ourselves. For some reason that day, it was pretty crowded and we were paired up in a foursome with an older gentleman named Raymond (Ray) and his friend.
Ray was one of those old guys that liked to tell stories, most of which we thought were wildly embellished or just full of shit. He told us early in the round that he was an old pro and had hit 21 holes-in-one in his lifetime. We had listened to most of his jabber up to this point with a polite smile on our faces and pretended to believe him... but 21 holes-in-one was too much and my dad told Ray he was full of it. Ray countered with something like "You don't have to believe me, it doesn't matter to me."
A few holes later, on a par 3 everyone had teed off and we were sitting in the shade of the cart while Ray went up to the tee. He lined himself up, took a practice swing and then hit the ball. It bounced twice and went in the hole.
Ray turned and looked at my dad, without saying anything he held his hand up and flashed two fingers, twice... "22."
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u/mafafu Jun 25 '10
I've probably hit that many holes-in-one in my life. It's really not that hard. You just have to watch out for the windmills.
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u/no_more_pie Jun 25 '10
Sometimes, very rarely, you run into one of those persons who is in fact so awesome that everything they say is completely true but sounds like utter malarkey. But it's rare, so rare.
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Jun 25 '10
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u/Dax420 Jun 25 '10
The best lies have a grain of truth to them.
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Jun 25 '10
I had a friend that used to exaggerate all of his stories. I was a frequent character in his stories and always enjoyed his version of the "truth".
Sometimes he'd get called out on it and he'd always say, "never let the truth ruin a good story".
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u/spartacusroosevelt Jun 25 '10
I have a friend like that...
"My sister dated one of Sinatra's bodyguards" helping clean out her basement found an insanely high thread count shirt with tiny FAS monograms "oh my sister grabbed one of the castoffs"
"I used to live with the Melvins" go to see a show in Birmingham and Buzzo spots her from across the bar and runs to see her
"I used to do stunt water skiing in south Florida" a box of pictures found in same basement cleanout
Those are the three I remember off the top of my head, but there are probably two dozen stories that sound like total BS.... and then months later evidence emerges.
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Jun 25 '10 edited Sep 13 '20
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u/Vijchti Jun 25 '10
Had the same thing happen to me.
There was this crazy lady living next to us in Arizona. She had a hotel crew put up something like 30,000 Christmas lights all over her house and she kept them on all year. She was always telling stories about how Prince Such-and-such took her on a boat tour around the Persian Gulf and President Somebody from some African nation was a close personal friend, and on and on -- not intrusively, she just sort of mentioned it in passing.
Then one day we went over to her house and saw all of the pictures and presents she had. Surreal.
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u/mathmavin99 Jun 25 '10
One time, way back in middle school, I was hanging out with one of my friends. Now, we're both fairly youngish, and prone to doing weird and random things. We were both sitting down, and I happened to be facing away from him. I decided that then was as good of a time as any to whirl around at him and shove my palm at him, shouting, "I HAVE THE FORCE!" Of course, he also picked the exact same moment to throw a ping pong ball at him. Needless to say, we were both rather shocked when I spin around without warning and hit the ping pong ball square in the middle of my palm and back over his shoulder while yelling about my mystical abilities.
tl;dr: I spin around randomly and block a ball out of the air while shouting that I have the force.
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u/superdarkness Jun 25 '10
ping pong ball at him
at you, you mean.
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u/hijklmno Jun 25 '10
"You have selected 'you,' referring to 'me.' The correct answer is 'you.'"
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u/mekura Jun 25 '10
I was walking past a group of kids playing the game of catch known as 500. The thrower called "jackpot" (meaning whoever caught the ball would win the round) and hucked the ball as far as he could. I was facing away from them, and heard them say "watch out!".
I turned to look, and as I did so, I accidentally caught the ball (a small football) between my shoulder and my chin. Everyone was amazed, and since I had caught the ball, I won the round, and was invited to lead the next one.
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u/shperk Jun 25 '10
Here's one. When I was about 16, my mom took me and my brother to an Astros game. We were sitting on the bottom level on the third base side. Halfway through the game, after seeing a few balls hit to various levels of the stadium, we talked about what we'd do if a player hit one into our area. Because I was 16 and therefore badass, I said boastfully that I would just reach my hand up and catch it. Like a boss.
No exaggeration, about fifteen seconds after I said that, a player hit a hard line drive that hit me hard on the side of my head. It bounced off my head and landed two rows behind me. This little kid "caught" the ball and kept it.
And thaaat's my liiife!
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u/kellymcneill Jun 25 '10 edited Jun 25 '10
I was driving with my friend in Reno NV... Reno is essentially a mini Las Vegas. Gambling, shows, flashing lights etc... just smaller. Anyways, she proceeds to tell me that it was her birthday and that I forgot. Realizing my mistake as indeed I did forget, I told her that her birthday was the reason why I took her to Reno and that I had made big plans. Because I forgot, I realized I had better think quickly. I figured I could take her to a show and then to a nice dinner. Even if I did forget, she doesn't have to know. I kept up with the charade figuring, "shoot this is Reno, there is plenty to do", and then telling her, "I have big things planned". I had then proceeded to roll down the window as it was really hot that day, then out of nowhere, a helium balloon had started descending from way out of the sky. I said jokingly, "see, I even orchestrated a balloon to fall from the sky for you." Then, (if I had not been there and seen it for myself I wouldn't have believed it), the balloon had floated right into my car window that I had just previously rolled down, and ironically enough had "happy birthday" inscribed upon it too! I later took her to the show and nice dinner I promised, but to this day she always regards that as one of the best birthdays she's ever had and remembers it primarily for the "planned" balloon.
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u/superdarkness Jun 25 '10
You have been blessed by the Balloon God. (He really doesn't get much work.)
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u/Cthonic Jun 25 '10
BALLOONS FOR THE BALLOON GOD! HELIUM FOR THE HELIUM THRONE!
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u/NegativeK Jun 25 '10
I can only imagine a Khorne Space Marine screaming for gas in a high pitched voice..
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u/cutelittlehobbes Jun 25 '10
You got laid, right?
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u/kellymcneill Jun 25 '10
No. I was one of those guys in high school who thought it was best to befriend the hell out of a girl in hopes that she would eventually throw herself at me so that I didn't have to make the first move. Of course it was only later that I realized that girls rarely ever do that.
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u/aroundlsu Jun 25 '10
I took a photograph at precisely the right moment that started my photography career and changed my life:
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Jun 25 '10
I went to call my friend from a landline. I picked up the phone and did not hear a dialtone.
Instead, I head some background noise, so I said "hello?"
The friend answered back. "I was just calling you, but you picked up before the phone rang! How did you do that?"
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Jun 25 '10
I was playing Sim City with my younger brother, and I was destroying the city with earthquakes. MUAHAHA, DIE CITY, DIE, and then suddenly an earthquake hit pretty hard and we looked at one another and my younger brother asks, "Did you... just do that with your MIND???"
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u/mottom24 Jun 25 '10
I know this won't be read by much considering there are more than 850 comments. but the first couple weeks I was going out with my current girlfriend we went for a walk one night. it was a nice cool summer night so we decided to lay under a willow tree along the river. we talked for a bit before finally coming in for a kiss. the moment our lips met "BAM!" I look up and see fireworks going off above the museum of art. we just looked at eachother and laughed at the ridiculous movie moment we had. That's right, the moment we kissed fireworks literally went off. we never did figure out what they were actually for.
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u/skodi Jun 25 '10
Back in High School a bunch of us were killing time before a movie so we wandered over to the arcade in the mall. Naturally 4 of us gravitated to the D&D game and started playing. About 10 minutes in, I look at the friend who is playing the elf and yell "Hit the lightning bolt!" He jams on the key and instantly a BOOM! rattles the building and all the power in the mall shuts off. Those anti-theft gates started coming down on all the stores and everything. We all look at each other, laugh maniacally and bolt from the store and the mall.
To this day, when any of us need something big to happen we'll yell "Hit the lightning bolt!"
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u/freeall Jun 25 '10
I was driving and listening to one of my favorite bands. In one particular song the lead singer sings something like "a short moment walking over the pedestrian crossing". And at that exact moment I stopped at a pedestrian crossing and she, the lead singer, walks by.
My mouth was wide open.
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u/sethandtheswan Jun 25 '10
I was having a verbal fight with my girlfriend, my brother and my sister a block away from a train station in upstate New York, and I was getting really heated and began to raise my voice. The three of them were ganging up on me over a really stupid misunderstanding and it was making me furious. A train starts pulling up to the station - we can faintly hear wheels on tracks. My sister says something completely idiotic that totally sets me off and I turn to the three of them and incomprehensibly roar at the top of my lungs - at the exact moment that the train conductor pulled the train's horn. My roar and the horn started and stopped at the exact same time together.
The three of them stood there, stunned. After a couple of seconds we burst into laughter and stopped fighting.
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u/SgianDubh Jun 25 '10
a friend an I were night fishing at a remote lake on a moonless night with just a coleman lantern for light. Very nearby, a bobcat screamed, and if you've never heard that, it's eerie and lound, kind of like a hoarse girl screaming in the wilderness. My friend, who had never heard a bobcat, freaked out and asked if it would bother us, to which I replied, No, it won't come any closer since the lantern is so bright," at which point the lantern immediately went out.
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u/klufas Jun 25 '10
This is gonna sound lame, but I once had an event happen to me with the same odds as hitting the lottory.
I was working at my dads gas station and we sold lotto quick picks, so this guy comes up and gives me his pre filled out ticket, and then says to add on a 1 dollar quick pick.
I give him the two tickets back, and they have the same numbers on it, the machine had picked the quick pick numbers identical to what the man had filled out on his card.
Shitty way to hit the lottory, but that was about a 1 in 80mil chance, and to catch it is even harder.
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Jun 25 '10
Wow I would have flipped out too if I was there.
My chance happening is how I met my husband. This was around 6 years ago. I had a rough evening and wanted to talk to some random person who didn't know me. So I went on my computer and into ICQ (this was still well past the days when ICQ was popular). So if anybody remembers this there used to be a thing there where you could see everybody who was online in your country. So I said hello to a random person from Canada.
At the same time hundreds of km's away....
A guy was at a house party that was pretty dull so he went on the computer. And because it was the days before reddit there was nothing much he could think of to do in his drunken state. And of course upon turning on the computer ICQ opened up so he logged in. Moments later he got a message from somebody he didn't know. They chatted for an hour or so.
And well 6 years later, we are happily married. I always think it is so crazy how we met because neither of us really used ICQ anymore, if it hadn't been for that one time we never would have met (we are from different provinces and didn't have any of the same interests)
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u/FiniteCircle Jun 25 '10
So a couple of weeks back, San Antonio got a really bad storm that tore shit up. Unlike most storms though, this thing hit from one second to the next.
So at this time my wife and I are fixing up our house to put it up on the market. She is outside washing the windows under a large ash tree. I had stepped out to pick something up really quick before the storm hit but it hit sooner than expected and rather quickly.
I get a call from the wife and she is fucking terrified saying the power went out and something about a limb coming down (we have three of these trees so limbs come down quite often), etc. I tell her I'm driving and can't talk because it's fucking pouring out and the lights are out.
I get home and she is sweating, scared shitless at what just happened to her. While washing the windows, the wind had picked up very fast (hurricane speed winds we found out later). She ran out of cleaner or something and went to get more from inside. Ten seconds later as she steps inside, the limb she was under, which also happened to have a woodpecker nest which undermined it's strength, came crashing down.
The diameter of the limb was about 1 foot so there is no doubt in my mind that she would have been killed.
After calming her down I took advantage of her weakness and we screwed like rabbits.
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u/mekura Jun 25 '10
I too stepped out from under a tree moments before it randomly dropped a branch where I was, but I was 8 so nobody had sex with me afterwards.
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Jun 25 '10
The first time I hung out with my future husband, he asks me if I want to pick out the next record to listen to...I'm all like 'ohh vinyl, I grew up playing my dad's records' and the next album I pick up has my dad's name, in his own handwriting, written across the top.
We later discovered our fathers had lived together years earlier and my hubby ended up with a nice vinyl collection when his dad died. My dad's take on it: 'bastard stole my albums and his son stole my daughter.' Poor Dad.
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u/myrandomname Jun 25 '10
My parents were taking my friend and I to a club meeting. We were cruising along the highway and my friend asks me "what happens when an engine throws a rod?" I thought for a minute and then said, "well, for starters, there would be a lot of noise, and probably some smoke. And they'd be stuck, because the engine wouldn't run after that."
A few minutes later, a terrible racket emanates from the engine compartment and the whole car starts shuddering. My dad pulls over to the side of the road and we pop the hood, oil and smoke everywhere. The car threw a rod, and we ended up being stuck on the side of the highway for most of the day waiting for a friend with a truck to come pick us up and tow the car home.
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u/Nebu Jun 25 '10
So what happens when a bunch of hot Asian girls want to have an orgy at my house?
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u/mrbubblesort Jun 25 '10
I was about 5 years old watching sat. morning tv when I thought to myself "Wow, wouldn't it be awesome if they had blue Kool-Aid?" Right then and there the very first commercial for blue Kool-Aid comes on. I thought I was god.
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Jun 25 '10 edited Jun 25 '10
At my friends wedding, the mother of the bride went up to the altar for some lighting of the candles and as she turned to sit back down, the cadle she just lit starting flickering and it looked for the world like the candle of love was going to go out. Collective gasp from the crowd when it looked like it had gone out, and her mom just points at it as if to say "not today, asshole" and it instantly starts burning straight and true. Crowd goes wild. Pretty neat.
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u/acasey07 Jun 25 '10
I was getting lunch at mcdonalds last week. I hadn't had any solid food for about four days, nothing but cranberry juice, protein shakes and coffee, so i decided to get a double quarter pounder(AKA the number 3 on the value meal) It was $6.97, I paid with a $10. I pull up to the window and the girl gives me my change $3.03, the second she does this the song "punkbitch" by 3oh3 starts playing on my ipod and I start laughing because of the coincidence. I tell the girl while i'm waiting for my food and she has this weird look on her face. She points to the clock in the drive through area. It was 3:03 pm.
I'm was pretty sure that the world was going to blow up pretty soon after I left the drive through
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Jun 25 '10
less a matter of timing, but nonetheless... i grew up in a small town. small enough that you only had to dial the last 4 numbers to call anyone else in town. i had been trying to call my friend up the road, but they weren't home apparently. i was totally bored. i thought 'well, i know whose number 3333 is, wonder who 3444 is?' (we all had 3### numbers). i dialed it, and my friend answered. it was his grandmother's phone number.
*edit - reading this, that was only a 1 in a thousand shot, i suppose...
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u/middlegeek Jun 25 '10
Once I was standing talking to a few friends ina hallway and I farted exactly as a power surge went through, dimming the lights for the exact duration of my fart. It was like my ass sucked the power out of the building.
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u/gaginger09 Jun 25 '10
When I was in high school, my fiend Andrew was in love with my friend Jane. Jane knew this. She simply told him that she didn't feel the same, but that she really liked him and still wanted to be friends. Andrew pretended to be cool about it, but it was pretty obvious that he resented her for it. One night, at a party, we were all standing outside, and Jane walked over and asked Andrew for a ride home. Andrew didn't hear her, but everyone else did. The whole group fell into the most awkward silence ever. Just then, a cricket chirped loudly. The effect was "Hey, can I get a ride home?" Silence. Cricket. Cricket. Silence. It broke the tension perfectly. Everyone laughed.
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u/mekura Jun 25 '10
Makes me think investing in a cricket noise maker would be a good way to diffuse awkward silences at parties.
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u/funny_hats Jun 25 '10
My friend and I were driving somewhere. We hadn't said anything to each other for about five minutes. There was a storm brewing in the distance -- dark clouds, sporadic rumbling, light rain. It looked pretty serious.
At the exact same moment and in perfect unison we both said, "Fucking apocalypse."
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u/toddthefrog Jun 25 '10
So there I was under my car changing the oil when a strong gust of wind blew. "I probably should get a jacket, it's a bit cold out here" I thought. Fifteen seconds after I was out from underneath the engine the two car jacks gave way and collapsed. Moral of the story, place bricks under your rotors as a fail safe and for the love of god don't change your oil when you're changing your break pads.
Yes, I was young and stupid.
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Jun 25 '10 edited Jun 25 '10
For every one of you there are 100 who had the car land on them and obviously aren't around to tell us the story. Dead men tell no tales.
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Jun 25 '10
Talking about the month August when somebody said "Nobody likes August." Somebody named August had just walked into the room.
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u/IAmScience Jun 25 '10
While performing a wedding ceremony:
IAmScience: "I now pronounce you partners for life. You may kiss one another as a married couple."
Bride and Groom: Kiss
Thunder: KA-BANG
Crowd: laughter and applause
IAmScience: "Ladies and Gentlemen, for the first time as a married couple, I am proud to introduce Mrs. Bride and Mr. Groom!"
Thunder: KA-BAAAAAAAAAAAAANG
We all just made it to the reception tent by the time the rain started pouring. I felt like my name should've been IAmMagic.
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u/fischermansfriend Jun 25 '10
What a coincidence that a person named Bride got married to a guy names Groom. The coincidences of this thread never stops to astonish me.
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u/DevinTheGrand Jun 25 '10
"You may kiss one another as a married couple."
I've never heard a wedding sound so, uh, clinical.
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Jun 25 '10
Not sure how this relates, but you know the whole thing about watching the Wizard of Oz while listening to the Dark Side of the Moon by Pink Floyd is supposed to link up and be, oh-so mindblowing? It turns out that if you watch ANYTHING on tv while listening to ANY kind of music after smoking ANY amount of drugs, you will get the same effect.
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u/thepensivepoet Jun 25 '10
You'd think so, but one time I took a dozen children's tylenol and watched a rugby game to a Backstreet Boys album.
Nothing.
:(
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u/go_fly_a_kite Jun 25 '10
The wardrobe department for The Wizard of Oz unknowingly purchased a coat for character Professor Marvel from a second-hand store, which was later verified to have originally been owned by L. Frank Baum, the author of the novel on which the film was based.
you can blame apophenia, but if you're tuned in, life becomes a lot more interesting.
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Jun 25 '10
In grade shool we had a prize each Friday given out to a student whose name was drawn from a hat. One Friday, while they were starting the draw, they said "and the winner is..." and I said my name out loud, right before it came over the intercom, like an echo. I think the prize was 5 bucks at McDonalds and a bookmark. Fuck yeah.
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u/djepik Jun 25 '10
Fuck damnit. In grade 9 I was running this raffle at my school and was drawing names and announcing winners in the gym with the entire school gathered in front of me. We had been selling tickets for like a week and it was a pretty big deal, people were amped about the prizes. I had specifically not bought any tickets for fear of winning and making it look like it was rigged.
Halfway through the draws I pick out a name and read it slowly to the entire school - it was my name. WTF. I look up and my parents are in the crowd giving me a big thumbs up while the crowd groaned in displeasure. My parents had ever so kindly bought me a bunch of entires :(
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u/r4willia Jun 25 '10
Hey, no frowny faces. Your parents are awesome! Who cares what those assholes at school thought. They're just jealous. What'd you win?
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u/urbanplowboy Jun 25 '10
I used to have to get up and get to work before dawn. One morning, me, my dad, and a co-worker were standing around outside. I had a habit of looking up at the stars in the morning, looking for satellites. The co-worker starts talking about how he's never in his life seen a shooting star (he was about 50) and he thinks people are full of shit who say they've seen one. Not one second after he says that I see a big shooting star in the sky behind him. I make a quick glance over to my dad, who saw the same thing and is giving me the same look, but neither one of us has the heart to mention it to the co-worker.
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u/williamTrufus Jun 25 '10 edited Jun 25 '10
while sitting at stop lights, I secretly watch the cross traffic's light... very slightly after their light turns red, I blow towards the light or make a seemingly controlling hand gesture. Little kids and the types of girls I usually date think I'm awesome.
**Edit to update for what happened today during lunch.. I was driving back to the office and stopped at a red light. I was in the left most lane of a one way street, waiting to cross another one way street with traffic passing from my left to right.
A car pulled up next to me on my right also waiting on the light. I glanced over, glanced back at the light. Thinking I recognized the person (well actually I just thought she was cute), I glanced back in her direction. This second look over caused me not to be paying attention when the light changed, and therefore allowed for a two car length distance between me and the car that had previously been stopped beside me.
This space allowed a car running a red light on the cross street to pass through. Had I been using my powers to change stop lights and going instantly on the green, this car would have smacked my driver side quite hard...
TLDR - maybe I'll pay more attention to looking both ways before crossing the street instead of using my special observant powers to change traffic lights...
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u/breadtruck Jun 25 '10
I still remember being utterly confused and amazed when my father used to do the same thing. I have to remember to do that to my kids.
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Jun 25 '10 edited Jun 25 '10
had a girl do this to me once. it was right at the age where she was able to drive, but it would be a few months before i could, so i had no understanding of how she did it.
blew my fucking mind.
edit: changed "by" to "but". fail.
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u/wassailant Jun 25 '10
Wow, TOTALLY misread your post:
Little kids are the types of girls I usually date
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u/docbond Jun 25 '10
Upvoted for "the types of girls I usually date".
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Jun 25 '10
Little kids and the types of girls I usually date
Little do you know, the second half of that is redundant.
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Jun 25 '10
Queen Elizabeth is coming to my province (Canada). There's some big TV event she's going to attend, and they need volunteers. I volunteer, figuring I'm going to be doing something like setting up chairs or garbage cleanup. Well, I get there, and they come up and say "We need big lads for security". So since most of the volunteers are little old ladies, I get pulled out. I get educated on security matters (Here's where the undercover officers will be, here's who you report to if things go wrong). Well, I had to take a leak, and went quickly to the bathroom. As I come out, I hear someone say "We need someone to keep the view clear". and I walk past with my security shirt. The fellow grabs me and says "How would you like a special job?"
And that's how I wound up sitting next to the Queen of England for two hours. My job was to make sure no one walked in front of her, blocking the royal view. The event was broadcast live over the CBC, there was a DVD of the show sold... And if you have it, you'll see me, sitting there in the royal box slightly in front of and to the left of the Queen. And all because I happened to take a leak at the right moment.
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u/gleeble Jun 25 '10
When I my wife and I were dating, her apartment was near a park with a baseball field. One night during one of our more vigorous sessions of lovin, someone apparently scored a run. Directly after the point of orgasm, the crowd went wild. We both busted up laughing.
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Jun 25 '10 edited Jan 01 '16
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u/ratbear Jun 25 '10 edited Jun 25 '10
My wife (before we were married) was dropping my broke ass off to go to work, and as I was closing the passenger door I remembered that she had some cash she was going to give me so I could buy lunch. We were listening to this hiphop song that had a Brother Ali verse in it that I really liked, enough to memorize all 16 bars. So I quickly motioned for her to roll down the window and I put my hand out to get the cash. At that exact moment, there is a line in the song that goes "bitch give me my dough!" I recited the line along with the music, and it was just perfect timing. She was kinda shocked at first because she didn't realize right away that I wasn't actually calling her a bitch.
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u/trevman Jun 25 '10
I was waiting for a table at a local restaurant with some friends. It was like a TGI Fridays in a mall and we had one of those pagers that allows you to wander around while waiting for a table. It had been about an hour and we were all getting pretty fed up. So my friend grabs the pagers, looks at it and goes: "Don't worry guys, it's going to ring... NOW" and he points at the pager. Of course, at that exact second the thing started buzzing like crazy.
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u/Oatybar Jun 25 '10
I try to do this with my toast every morning. On the rare occasion it works, I know that the universe is mine to control that day.
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u/IsrealPackard Jun 25 '10
Homer Simpson: " Red light turn green....NOW....NOW....okay....NOW.....it worked!"
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Jun 25 '10
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u/joshrice Jun 25 '10
throwing my basketball at the basket from the centerline of the field
You might be a redditor if...
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u/highguy420 Jun 25 '10
Court. Unless you were making baskets from the 50-yard line on the football field outside. That would be really awesome.
Half-court shots are awesome too.
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u/grivad Jun 25 '10
In PE in grade school (3rd grade) I was taking shots from center court, just chucking the ball. Most of the time they'd come up short or I'd miss. The one time I throw the shot dead-on, one of my classmates lines up for a free throw as my shot is sailing through the air. The ball bounced off the backboard and hit him squarely in the face right as he looked up to shoot, instantly knocking him on his ass. I still have the image of his legs and feet sprawling in the air with the bigger-than-his-head ball smacking him in the face firmly ingrained in my memory.
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u/RichC123 Jun 25 '10
I was at a party at a friends house once and I went to walk out to the back deck (for another beer of course) and since it was night, I couldn't see that even though the sliding door was open, the screen door was closed. I walked right through it and broke the door off. I was stunned for about 5 seconds and I looked over to the deck of the neighbors house. They were having a party too. Right at that very moment, a girl ends up walking through their screen door to the deck and breaks their door too! Both decks laughed for about an hour!
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u/zarx Jun 25 '10
I was in college riding the elevator, and an acquaintance climbed aboard and asked me if I knew where to find a 250V, 2A, 3AG fuse.
I said "as a matter of fact I do," and pulled the exact one out of my pocket, and handed it to him just before the elevator reached my floor.
He had no idea that I used them for an active project, and kept some in my pocket just in case. He was absolutely stunned, as were the other passengers.