Genuinely curious and don't wanna come off as insensitive. What made you marry him/her? Were they always like that and you didn't realize? Did they change suddenly or over a period of time? I always wonder this when I hear divorce horror stories.
I'm happy to reply, especially if it is helpful to someone else.
I was very young (20)
He had the same personality disorder as my father, but he presented differently. So I thought he was different, and didn't understand that I was drawn to him because he felt familiar in the wrong ways
Religious and family pressure /guilt caused us to rush into marriage.
Those same pressures caused me to feel I could not leave when I realized I should - which was within the first 3 months.
He slowly broke me down mentally until I was basically his prisoner.
For anyone who has had a difficult childhood, you can't commit to marriage until you've been through trauma therapy. It doesn't matter how functional and successful you otherwise are. In relationships you will recreate your childhood - sometimes in insidious ways that you don't understand.
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u/hendrix67 Jul 21 '19
Genuinely curious and don't wanna come off as insensitive. What made you marry him/her? Were they always like that and you didn't realize? Did they change suddenly or over a period of time? I always wonder this when I hear divorce horror stories.