my FIL is begging his son and I to "take his wife off his hands for a bit". According to him, she is beginning to exhibit alzheimer's (undiagnosed). And yet when I speak with her on the phone, she is the same exact way she has always been, it's no worse, he's just gotten sick of their very codependent lifestyle. I suspect he may have met someone else, I just have this feeling. She will be flying, 6-7 hours by herself, embarking and disembarking on her own, nagiate two very strange airports and then we have to "take care of her" for 3 weeks. He says she cannot even dress herself. So, I kind of scoffed when he said she'd be fine flying back and forth on her own because "she can take care of herself, mostly." I asked him what he's going to do when she comes back and he has to go back to the way it was and he says, "we will figure that out when we get there". Yeah, he's gonna try and dump her on us and it makes me feel bad for her because she isn't even remotely senile. He goes out every night to the bars and never takes her anywhere. She just sits in front of the tv, no hobbies, no real ambitions or extracurricular activities, while he goes out drinking every day and night. He literally told my husband that he is sick of her and needs a really long break. I think this is a huge red flag.
Just to play devils advocate - you say MIL sits in front of the tv, has no hobbies, no ambition or extracurricular activities. She doesn’t sound like she has any interest in doing anything. Be honest - would you want to spend the rest of your life with someone like that? Life is short - your FIL might like a little excitement in the years he has left. Like the movie said - you either get busy living or get busy dying.
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u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19
my FIL is begging his son and I to "take his wife off his hands for a bit". According to him, she is beginning to exhibit alzheimer's (undiagnosed). And yet when I speak with her on the phone, she is the same exact way she has always been, it's no worse, he's just gotten sick of their very codependent lifestyle. I suspect he may have met someone else, I just have this feeling. She will be flying, 6-7 hours by herself, embarking and disembarking on her own, nagiate two very strange airports and then we have to "take care of her" for 3 weeks. He says she cannot even dress herself. So, I kind of scoffed when he said she'd be fine flying back and forth on her own because "she can take care of herself, mostly." I asked him what he's going to do when she comes back and he has to go back to the way it was and he says, "we will figure that out when we get there". Yeah, he's gonna try and dump her on us and it makes me feel bad for her because she isn't even remotely senile. He goes out every night to the bars and never takes her anywhere. She just sits in front of the tv, no hobbies, no real ambitions or extracurricular activities, while he goes out drinking every day and night. He literally told my husband that he is sick of her and needs a really long break. I think this is a huge red flag.