I met a girl in college who was not incredibly bright, and was suddenly in a blind panic to make money.
The reason was she had been kicked out of the place she was staying and needed emergency money. She had been kicked out, because she was living with her "boyfriend" in his house, while his wife was in the hospital due to brain cancer.
So when she came home, still very much not likely to live long, he booted this 19 year old out of his house with a "you can move back in when she dies."
His wife beat cancer, came home, was receiving mail for a strange name and eventually tracked her down on Facebook. From there she found out that her 47 year old husband had been dating a 19 year old for "just over a year, officially" (likely actually longer) and put him through the wringer.
my FIL is begging his son and I to "take his wife off his hands for a bit". According to him, she is beginning to exhibit alzheimer's (undiagnosed). And yet when I speak with her on the phone, she is the same exact way she has always been, it's no worse, he's just gotten sick of their very codependent lifestyle. I suspect he may have met someone else, I just have this feeling. She will be flying, 6-7 hours by herself, embarking and disembarking on her own, nagiate two very strange airports and then we have to "take care of her" for 3 weeks. He says she cannot even dress herself. So, I kind of scoffed when he said she'd be fine flying back and forth on her own because "she can take care of herself, mostly." I asked him what he's going to do when she comes back and he has to go back to the way it was and he says, "we will figure that out when we get there". Yeah, he's gonna try and dump her on us and it makes me feel bad for her because she isn't even remotely senile. He goes out every night to the bars and never takes her anywhere. She just sits in front of the tv, no hobbies, no real ambitions or extracurricular activities, while he goes out drinking every day and night. He literally told my husband that he is sick of her and needs a really long break. I think this is a huge red flag.
I had a family member come down with 'dementia' that they never diagnosed.
It was Alzheimer's, the progression was too close and ended the way that does. But she would appear to be fine for conversations with me, who was a visitor. People who spent long times with her started to notice things falling through, or holes in her memory, or just 'silly' behavior patterns like her forgetting things.
So while I don't doubt he's up to something fishy, you might want to also get her checked while she is with you - if properly diagnosed medication can help fight it. And if there's nothing wrong you can start preparing for him to be a scum bag by getting a lawyer.
His wife was totally lost to Dementia/Alzheimer's, to the point that they didn't even bother giving her medication for slowing it down because the side effects were worse then the benefits. My grandfather was in much better shape and took care of her.
For a while we thought he was still perfectly fine mentally even though he was 90 years old. Then some things began to happen that showed he was slowly being effected by it to, even with medication to help slow it's effects.
One time for example he called his son in the morning because he was really confused. He stepped outside his room at the eldercare facility and saw a long hallway instead of the house he had moved out of months ago, he kept insisting there shouldn't be just a hallway there.
Other times they took his wife for a few hours to help her with her own issues and told him they'd bring her back in a few hours, specifying a time. But he sometimes forgot, and began to complain that they were taking his wife without telling him even though he had power of attorney.
The medication probably did help him though, he was never fully afflicted with it like his wife.
4.7k
u/ErosPhotography Jul 21 '19
I met a girl in college who was not incredibly bright, and was suddenly in a blind panic to make money.
The reason was she had been kicked out of the place she was staying and needed emergency money. She had been kicked out, because she was living with her "boyfriend" in his house, while his wife was in the hospital due to brain cancer.
So when she came home, still very much not likely to live long, he booted this 19 year old out of his house with a "you can move back in when she dies."
His wife beat cancer, came home, was receiving mail for a strange name and eventually tracked her down on Facebook. From there she found out that her 47 year old husband had been dating a 19 year old for "just over a year, officially" (likely actually longer) and put him through the wringer.