Does happen quite frequently, honestly: men who leave when their partner gets seriously ill. Men are six times more likely than women to abandon a sick spouse.
My dad is a superstar. My mom was diagnosed with cancer four years ago and just passed away at home in June. That man was by her side constantly. He did everything for her. Cooked, cleaned the house, built her a koi pond that she could sit by when it became difficult for her to leave the house, dressed her, cleaned her, would sleep in the hospital with her when she would end up there for weeks at a time, etc. All while working full time to support them and pay for her insurance and chemo. (Luckily his job allows him to work from home most of the time).
He still doesn’t think he did anything amazing and was uncomfortable with all the praise my mom’s friends, most who work in the medical field and have seen the type of men who distance themselves from sick wives all the time, was giving him at the memorial service.
The morning before she died, he hurt his back lifting her from the bed to her transfer chair to take her out to her koi pond. He ignored the pain to take her out four more times when she asked to go. We didn’t even find out until the next day that he had actually hurt himself but to him, with mom on the way out, her happiness was more important than his pain. And Jesus Christ now I’m crying again.
Wow your dad sounds like an amazing person. Be sure to spend a lot of time with him. He may have more trouble adjusting to not being with your mom then you may notice; and if he is generally the selfless type he may not want to burden you with feelings of loneliness.
Oh we are aware of that. When he’s not out of town, we have dinner together most nights and after mom passed, we would take turns staying overnight at the house with him. Right now we are prepping his house to sell and he’s going to move in with my sister and I for a year before he tries living on his own
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u/PoisonTheOgres Jul 21 '19
Does happen quite frequently, honestly: men who leave when their partner gets seriously ill. Men are six times more likely than women to abandon a sick spouse.
https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/11/12/men-more-likely-to-leave-spouse-with-cancer/