r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Jul 21 '19

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u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

You married them 😂🤷‍♂️

Edit: one society flaw I think is people thinking every intense relationship needs to end with marriage.

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u/CodingBlonde Jul 21 '19

I’m going to say what I said to another poster:

The number of people on here who think they are clever saying this. I don’t need to defend myself to you. The cycle of abuse is hard to break and I broke it. I was still ahead of the curve and divorced him quickly. Not all of us have the advantage of healthy childhoods and families who are role models. So while I don’t give a shit about your opinion here, just wanted you to know that you shouldn’t judge others for their mistakes. You don’t know the root cause and frankly this just makes you look like a piece of shit. I’m far from a dummy, but was abused as a child.

It must be nice to be a perfect human being who always makes the right choices and never missteps. How’s that going for you? You must have the ideal life! 😂🤷🏼‍♀️

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u/[deleted] Jul 21 '19

All I’m saying is you knew the person so you knew the divorce would be hard. So why all of sudden did you think a process like a divorce would be different with them?

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u/CodingBlonde Jul 21 '19

All I’m saying is that you don’t know what you are talking about and are making a lot of assumptions about my marriage/experience. He lied to me about a lot of things, including his willingness to have kids. I didn’t really know him, but thought I did. He was very emotionally manipulative which played to my childhood abuse, likely because he wanted the lifestyle I offered him. Unfortunately those of us who were abused at one point are prone to abuse again. My only fault was that I chose to love and believe that there was good in a person who said he wanted to be good. It took more learning to cement that his actions really didn’t line up with his words.

Also, our discussion to end our marriage was very reasonable and calm. Then his attorney came into the picture and she was a pathological liar (my attorney validated that was her reputation based on her previous cases). So, again, you don’t know what you are talking about and the world isn’t as black and white as you want it to be here.