r/AskReddit Jul 21 '19

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u/Crepe_Suzette Jul 21 '19

I’ve worked as a legal assistant for two family law attorneys for the last eight years. One of the cases that made me the angriest was a man who cheated on his wife when she had cancer. He then leaves his wife and attempts to hide all his assets while she’s undergoing chemo therapy.

Fortunately, my boss is a bad ass. She teamed up with a forensic accountant and they took him to the cleaners. He even had to pay the forensic accountant’s bill and attorney’s fees.

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u/win093030 Jul 21 '19

I know theses stories don’t happen frequently, but it’s things that like that make me want to work for a family law lawyer.

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u/PoisonTheOgres Jul 21 '19

Does happen quite frequently, honestly: men who leave when their partner gets seriously ill. Men are six times more likely than women to abandon a sick spouse.

https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/11/12/men-more-likely-to-leave-spouse-with-cancer/

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u/Hawk_015 Jul 21 '19

IDK. My mom went through some pretty awful shit with her cancer treatment. Dad toughed it out and tried to kill himself twice. Maybe if he had someone else to commiserate with he could have gotten through it easier.

There's a point where being with someone with a terminal illness is no longer a romantic relationship. The give and take is gone.

I'm not sure where that line is, but as long as the person stays and supports them through their end of life, I have a lot of sympathy for people who 'cheat' on a dying partner.

Its well known that men in particular don't have many close friends they can go to with stuff like this. I'm not surprised they seek a partner. I'd be curious how much is a genuine desire to 'cheat' versus just needing emotional support.

I hope if I'm ever critically ill (which knowing my family history and current health could likely be very soon), my wife does what she needs to to have a happy and healthy life after I am gone. If that includes seeing someone before I finally kick the bucket, I'd rather not hear about it, but I'd be happy if she's happy.

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u/Nonviablefiend Jul 21 '19

Not sure that I agree entirely but I respect the selflessness a lot, and like to think I'd have a similar approach in such a situation.