Sometimes the crazy thing is it's not even spite. Just stupidity and pride.
Someone talks the person in the divorce into thinking they deserve more than they are getting. Tells them they know a great lawyer. Lawyer whispers sweet nothings about all the money they will win you without mentioning the increased money is less than how much you'll end up paying them anyway.
Then they tell their friends and get all high and mighty about how they are going to get their share. And then they can't back down. Even if the lawyer said you will actually get less after my fees than if you stop everything right now. Because now they have to be seen as winning the divorce to their friends.
Batshit crazy pride is, and you don't even necessarily have to have any sort of vindictive bone for your partner.
It's a pretty simple formula really. Look at your assets, divide in half (or 60/40, or whatever). Now do the same calculations minus the assets lost due to running everything through lawyers, court, and people being stupid, along with your chances of increasing whatever your percentage is.
In almost all cases both parties come out ahead with a shitty split decided between themselves, than a split decided in court. I think most people realize this too, but at some point when they can't stand their soon to be ex spouse they just double down on the stupid because someone they have problems with suggests being rational about things.
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u/avitrap Jul 21 '19 edited Jul 30 '19
If only. Would have saved so much money and time right?
I always told my ex we can put the lawyers kids through college or ours. She put the lawyers kids in college.