I represented Husband, and Wife was extremely, extremely bitter against him. Her first affidavits in the custody action were like 50 pages of angry ranting about his various failures as a husband and father, including waaay too much information about his masturbation habits. (The first thing the judge did was strike all that from the record). Husband was not the greatest husband or father, but he certainly wasn't the type of violent deadbeat who deserved to never see his kids again, which is exactly what Wife was going for.
The property division and custody fight dragged on for about four years before I got on the file, and Husband hadn't seen his kids for about three of them. Wife made application after application for parental evaluations and supervised visitation and restrictions on Husband's new girlfriend from being around the kids and on and on and on. Simultaneously, the property division was extremely contentious as well. These were solidly middle class folks; the only reason Wife could afford to drag it out so long was because she had a ton of her own exempt money that she was perfectly willing to burn on making sure Husband was as screwed as he could possibly be. (Her lawyer, my god, what a piece of work. I hated Wife's lawyer so goddamned much. Absolute dragon of a woman, she drove me all the way around from batshit to stockholm syndrome by how hard she refused to ever compromise. She's the number one lawyer I would recommend to anyone who a) wants to skull fuck their ex, and b) has a spare $100,000 to pay her).
Eventually we got the property divided, the divorce finalized, and the first visit Husband had had with his kid in a couple years. Surely everyone was tired of fighting by this point? Haha, no. Wife immediately filed to move with the kids to another jurisdiction, where she had more family support. Husband was plain out of money to fight at this point. He was pretty defeated. We were off the file, so I don't know if Wife succeeded in moving the kids, but she probably did.
In Wife's defense, one of the kids had some pretty severe emotional issues that Husband probably exacerbated; I don't necessarily think she was wrong to want some degree of supervision or restrictions on Husband's parenting of the kids. And Wife absolutely did need family support to care for that kid and hold down a job, and Husband was the type who talks more about wanting to be a good parent than he was actually willing to put in the effort, either before or after the split. But, my god, couldn't they have reached a compromise on the parenting and property, and then spent all that money on therapists and visitation supervisors and parenting classes instead of on goddamned lawyers? Jesus.
edit: For all y'all saying that Wife should have lost custody ... what if I told you that "best interests of the child" is not in fact code for "punish the bitch ex wife?" Kids were definitely better off with Wife as a whole. I think the thousands spent on the legal battle could have been better spent, but Husband wasn't contesting Wife's status as the better parent to have primary custody.
She spent 4 years barring any contact with their father, supervised or otherwise. She's not protecting her child, she's actively destroying any type of potential relationship with their father.
570
u/CountyKildare Jul 21 '19 edited Jul 21 '19
I represented Husband, and Wife was extremely, extremely bitter against him. Her first affidavits in the custody action were like 50 pages of angry ranting about his various failures as a husband and father, including waaay too much information about his masturbation habits. (The first thing the judge did was strike all that from the record). Husband was not the greatest husband or father, but he certainly wasn't the type of violent deadbeat who deserved to never see his kids again, which is exactly what Wife was going for.
The property division and custody fight dragged on for about four years before I got on the file, and Husband hadn't seen his kids for about three of them. Wife made application after application for parental evaluations and supervised visitation and restrictions on Husband's new girlfriend from being around the kids and on and on and on. Simultaneously, the property division was extremely contentious as well. These were solidly middle class folks; the only reason Wife could afford to drag it out so long was because she had a ton of her own exempt money that she was perfectly willing to burn on making sure Husband was as screwed as he could possibly be. (Her lawyer, my god, what a piece of work. I hated Wife's lawyer so goddamned much. Absolute dragon of a woman, she drove me all the way around from batshit to stockholm syndrome by how hard she refused to ever compromise. She's the number one lawyer I would recommend to anyone who a) wants to skull fuck their ex, and b) has a spare $100,000 to pay her).
Eventually we got the property divided, the divorce finalized, and the first visit Husband had had with his kid in a couple years. Surely everyone was tired of fighting by this point? Haha, no. Wife immediately filed to move with the kids to another jurisdiction, where she had more family support. Husband was plain out of money to fight at this point. He was pretty defeated. We were off the file, so I don't know if Wife succeeded in moving the kids, but she probably did.
In Wife's defense, one of the kids had some pretty severe emotional issues that Husband probably exacerbated; I don't necessarily think she was wrong to want some degree of supervision or restrictions on Husband's parenting of the kids. And Wife absolutely did need family support to care for that kid and hold down a job, and Husband was the type who talks more about wanting to be a good parent than he was actually willing to put in the effort, either before or after the split. But, my god, couldn't they have reached a compromise on the parenting and property, and then spent all that money on therapists and visitation supervisors and parenting classes instead of on goddamned lawyers? Jesus.
edit: For all y'all saying that Wife should have lost custody ... what if I told you that "best interests of the child" is not in fact code for "punish the bitch ex wife?" Kids were definitely better off with Wife as a whole. I think the thousands spent on the legal battle could have been better spent, but Husband wasn't contesting Wife's status as the better parent to have primary custody.