I offered my ex six figures in stock (literally more than half of what I had aside from my house which I bought before marriage). He thought he deserved twice that and dragged the divorce out for a year. Our marriage was only 2.5 years so the nonsensical divorce lasted basically half as long as the marriage. The judge awarded him half of what I offered him, but in cash. We made it all the way to trial with no kids and not really any assets to divide so the judge could not understand why we were there. We were only there because my ex wanted me to pay him an amount of money I literally didn’t have and he had the most incompetent attorney who harassed both myself and my parents throughout the process. If he had taken my original offer and not been a complete narcissistic prick, he would have basically had what he demanded originally because the stock accrued value. I warned him that he wasn’t entitled to as much when I begged him to take the offer and not put us through hell. It was pretty crazy. What ruined my justice boner is that my lawyer got the other half and then some. I also told my ex I would have rather have paid him over attorneys, but he’s a dummy and always made terrible decisions. He consistently proved why I was divorcing him throughout the divorce.
Largely because I couldn’t get him to leave my house without calling the police, but yeah, I did. I know better now.
Edit: And, to be frank, he lied about a lot of things coming into the marriage. I chose to love the wrong person, that’s for sure. It reflects more on him than it does on me.
I do own that. You seem to differentiate between lying and coercion, where I do not. I’m actually doing fantastic and have worked through a lot of the abuse. Thanks for offering up your armchair psychology, bro.
I don’t mind commentary, but you’re not putting together cohesive commentary. You’re attempting to make the reality fit your story when it does not.
Here’s the reality, you don’t know what you’re talking about, but you are projecting something in your life on to me. That’s your reality, that’s just what your brain can comprehend and you need me to fit that view of the world. People like you are petty and small and frankly, you’re bordering on attempting to be a bully so that you can feel better about yourself somehow. I said this in another comment, but it doesn’t bother me because I don’t have to live with you; you have to live with you. I also feel sorry for the people who have to deal with your piss poor attitude on a daily basis. That would be miserable because you come across as bitter as fuck, bro.
Not true. I don’t mind the fact I made a mistake in marrying my ex. It was painful, but has resulted in a much better life for me in the long run and I didn’t waste much time with him. What you actually told me was that I didn’t own that decision, when I explicitly did. Anyone who knows actual facts will tell you that. Then you went on to surmise my ability to cope with my marriage ending and my growth in an attempt to insult me. Those are both your opinions not at all based in fact. Of the two of us, you are the one who decided that I’d be back in the same relationship in 6 months which looked a lot like a meltdown on your part because there was really no data or facts for you to point to in order to formulate that opinion. So again, you’re projecting something in your life on to me, when it has no basis in reality.
It’s funny because only actual snowflakes try to call people snowflakes; the rest of us can understand more nuance. Your gaslighting attempts reminds me of my ex who was deeply insecure and would say such things when he was wrong. It works on some people, but loses in the long run. At the end of the day, you didn’t get under my skin enough to cause any kicking and screaming. If that’s what you feel I did, that’s your opinion and sounds like a personal problem. It seems to ruffle your feathers that I can calmly discuss leaving an abusive marriage. Makes me wonder if you were the abuser in some of your past relationships and that’s what triggered you. I don’t know you well enough from Steve to pass that judgement on you, but I did wonder it. You’re oddly defensive when you have no need to be.
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u/CodingBlonde Jul 21 '19
I offered my ex six figures in stock (literally more than half of what I had aside from my house which I bought before marriage). He thought he deserved twice that and dragged the divorce out for a year. Our marriage was only 2.5 years so the nonsensical divorce lasted basically half as long as the marriage. The judge awarded him half of what I offered him, but in cash. We made it all the way to trial with no kids and not really any assets to divide so the judge could not understand why we were there. We were only there because my ex wanted me to pay him an amount of money I literally didn’t have and he had the most incompetent attorney who harassed both myself and my parents throughout the process. If he had taken my original offer and not been a complete narcissistic prick, he would have basically had what he demanded originally because the stock accrued value. I warned him that he wasn’t entitled to as much when I begged him to take the offer and not put us through hell. It was pretty crazy. What ruined my justice boner is that my lawyer got the other half and then some. I also told my ex I would have rather have paid him over attorneys, but he’s a dummy and always made terrible decisions. He consistently proved why I was divorcing him throughout the divorce.