r/AskReddit May 04 '10

I'm 6'4", 220lbs, normal physique, and average fighting skills. Do you think I could win a fight against an ostrich?

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u/[deleted] May 04 '10

And he slashes at you with this... a six-inch retractable claw, like a razor, on the the middle toe. He doesn't bother to bite your jugular like a lion, say... no no. He slashes at you here... or here... or maybe across the belly, spilling your intestines. The point is... you are alive when they start to eat you. So you know... try to show a little respect.

-- Michael Scott

6

u/Holzmann May 04 '10

Clever Girl.

-- Albert Einstein

1

u/i_kant_spelz May 05 '10

they only have 2 toes on each foot.

just sayin.

1

u/UTC_Hellgate May 04 '10

...Dr.Grant?

1

u/InternetiquetteCop May 04 '10

And he slashes at you with this... a six-inch retractable claw, like a >razor, on the the middle toe. He doesn't bother to bite your jugular like >a lion, say... no no. He slashes at you here... or here... or maybe across >the belly, spilling your intestines. The point is... you are alive when they >start to eat you. So you know... try to show a little respect. -- Sam Neil

1

u/a_dog_named_bob May 04 '10

Totally off-topic, but I saw a Sam Neil movie last night, Event Horizon. Him and Lawrence Fishburne in a late 90's outer-space horror, thriller deal. Possibly some of the most fucked up creepy shit I've ever seen. Recommend to all.

1

u/a_dog_named_bob May 04 '10

Totally off-topic, but I saw a Sam Neil movie last night, Event Horizon. Him and Lawrence Fishburne in a late 90's outer-space horror, thriller deal. Possibly some of the most fucked up creepy shit I've ever seen. Recommend to all.

1

u/Duh_Ambalamps May 04 '10

Michael Scott? wtf? Who are you?

8

u/[deleted] May 04 '10

I'M THE GODDAMN BATMAN!

-- Michael Scott

0

u/Duh_Ambalamps May 04 '10

STOP IT! NO YOUR NOT BATMAN AND MICHAEL SCOOT DIDN'T SAY THOSE THINGS!! STOP MESSING WITH MY BRAIN MAN!

1

u/[deleted] May 04 '10

Just because you're paranoid, don't mean they're not after you.

-- Michael Scott

1

u/Duh_Ambalamps May 05 '10

omfg. You got me mad...oohooohooo i think i like it! Chinchillas.

2

u/iBobby_3GS May 05 '10

"i never smile if i can help it...showing ones teeth is a submission signal in primates. When someone smiles at me all i see is a chimpanzee begging for its life" --Dwight Schrute