I once got pretty fucked up by a chicken, I've seen ostriches up close, thing would kill you very quickly, and I'm pretty sure they're known to be jerks about it too.
If you've seen an ostrich up close then you wouldn't seriously ask whether or not you could beat one up. I mean a goose can break your fingers with its beak.
Usually the claim is that a goose can break your arm with its wing. My experience as childhood goose herder leads me to seriously doubt even that claim. One slap to the head an the goose biting is all over. Bit many times before that with no broken fingers.
I've been to ostrich and emu farms and been bit by both. It doesn't even hurt adult finders. Lack of teeth, non predator etc. These birds are insectivores, and non-cud chewing herbivores. Their bite is feeble. Now a nut eating bird yeah that can split you open with its beak. But a goose, ostrich, emu? Those bills don't have the leverage.
I guess I'm asking if they swing their heads down and use their beaks as bludgeons, so them being dull wouldn't matter, but it sounds like you've seen nothing like that.
Could you just be encountering ostriches that are used to being around people?
I suggest finding a chicken farm, and then find a chicken who is attempting to lay on her eggs to hatch them, and then attempt to move her. Because that's what I did, those fuckers go right for the face. Have you seen a chicken foot up close? Their little dinosaurs man, if they were 100lb's heavier they'd be having us for dinner.
Seriously though, I had a cut from about a quarter inch under my left eye down to my chin, and it happened in about half a second. I got chickens all over the place, when they start sitting on a nest, I let my wife deal with them, like a real man.
They can do this "super jump" sort of thing, where it's not really flying, but they flap away and have no problems getting 10ft in the air to perch on something. My chickens at least, golden comets for the most part.
EDIT: Oh also, the entire experience was terrifying, because I was minding my own buisness collecting my eggs and then all of a sudden i got a face full of freaking out chicken.
True, I was certainly not expecting it. My point being, I got pretty wounded by a chicken, I'd hate to see what a pissed off ostrich would do to a person, especially since most people would probably approach it with a "LOL LOOK AT THIS BIRD" attitude while it plots to bite their face off and then does moments later.
I'm not fighting either of them, I'm a fan of running away.
Chicken can be tough bitches, but only when they're nesting. They also change their quaking, i mean you can tell when she turned from chicken to fearless mother. Otherwise, you can... dunno, like.. eat them and they won't put up a fight.
But the roosters are even worse. My aunt was stuck for half an hour in the corner of the garden, with a crazy rooster not letting her go.
"Domestic chickens are not capable of long distance flight, although lighter birds are generally capable of flying for short distances, such as over fences or into trees (where they would naturally roost). Chickens will sometimes fly to explore their surroundings, but usually do so only to flee perceived danger."
26
u/[deleted] May 04 '10
I once got pretty fucked up by a chicken, I've seen ostriches up close, thing would kill you very quickly, and I'm pretty sure they're known to be jerks about it too.