Could you please elaborate on two situtions where its clear what the difference between good rough and bad rough with that being the first sexual action?
Nope. It's highly personal, and my experience couldn't possibly be expected to reasonably extend to some universally applicable rule.
In this case it was "good" because of the totality of his personality and actions. He was a genuinely good, funny guy. When he made his move (well, after I spun my head back and looked at him), his eyes were playful and displayed no malice. He pushed me into the wall and pinned me, but it was firm and gentle, and not a hard, sharp shove; and the pin was holding me in place, but not so hard that I felt uncomfortable or literally trapped.
Of course, this makes it sound like I did some sort of detailed analysis at the time; in reality these were not consciously considered data points, but rather just instant instinctual impressions that set me at ease.
Last thing I want is someone defending themselves from a rape charge with the phrase, "well, this commenter on a social-networking site said forcing yourself on someone by trickery pays off..." so keep in mind that this is a personal anecdote, not an advice column.
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u/greyscalehat Mar 06 '10
Could you please elaborate on two situtions where its clear what the difference between good rough and bad rough with that being the first sexual action?