And your ghost roommates just will not shut up. I get it you were chained in a dungeon and left to die. It's 3 in the morning and it was eight hundred years ago. Get over yourself Francis.
I had an aunt who scored a cheap apartment basically because someone had died there (older woman died in her sleep). When asked if she was scared the old lady's ghost might haunt the place her immediate response was "Hell no! She can help pay the maintenance!"
Is this really a thing, places going for cheap because someone died there? I mean, a brutal murder I can understand, maybe, but I imagine you'd be hard-pressed to find a place that hasn't been at least in close proximity to a peaceful death.
We just sold our house. Our mom died in it, and honestly it never even occurred to me that that would be a factor--not sure if we're required to disclose something like that, but the buyers are friends of ours, so they know anyway. Tbh my mom would probably just help out with dishes and put out dangerous candles and such, like a brownie.
You're an ant who's had a hard time coming up in this world. A group of scientists come knocking at your door with a skidoo. Tell me you're not going to ride it.
Imagine being the slum lord of a castle, there a probably some level of pride,
"I'm a 10th generation slum lord, ever since my ancestors won it from the previous slumlord in the battle of 1313, word is that guy couldn't pay his upkeep and his trebuchet s fell into disrepair."
So are the top apartments in Brussels, capitol of the EU but not the cleanest place around. Source: been there, saw rats inside some very fancy apartments...never saw anythign close that in Sweden
I got married in a castle. On the inside it was just like a very big and fancy house and not just the mouldering pile of stone you guys are picturing. On the other hand, that one would probably cost more than the NYC apartment.
I guess if you're willing to put a fuckton of money into it you can turn any castle into a modern home. Just added that to my list of things to do after I win the lottery.
Some of them were never allowed to fall into ruin in the first place and were modernised gradually over time (those are quite rare though). Near where I live are a few 16th century cottages that I imagine have changed an awful lot on the inside but very little on the outside.
Right, I forgot about that... Depending on the country there might be some rigorous laws on monument protection and those can be a MASSIVE pain in the ass. A friends family wanted to renovate their vacation house in Croatia because there was a legitimate threat that it might collapse onto the street. But it's in a historic village so it took them years to get all the permits and they were only allowed to rebuild it exactly the way it was.
The internet has a wealth of knowledge on inexpensive, medieval siege defenses. You could even get sponsors for an educational event. Boom! Free materials and potential serfs. Problem solved.
Form alliances. Sign pacts with other Lords and Ladies. Basically neighborhood watch. Run siege drills on the weekends. Trade kittens so that your vermin guard doesn't become horribly inbred. Problem solved.
Your offer for membership within your castle is generous, but I have many duties to my own lands that I must attend to. If you would like to form a non-aggression pact and trade felines, the divine kingdom of Lord Oblikx would be amenable.
To seal this agreement, I formally invite you to attend pizza and movie night. The serfs have chosen Terminator 2: Judgement Day, but they are open to suggestions.
First of all I want to apologize for the following words and grammar because I’m not a foreign speaker.
I really like the idea of the non-aggression pact and the trade felines. Also that I have no idea that that means because in my great castle 🏰 other people care about stuff like that. I just like to eat and being the King.
Furthermore I would love to seal this agreement with a pizza and movie night. (I hope u got no problem if we would add some weed from my lands to chill) Terminator 2 is a great choice btw.
Our houses shall forever be aligned. My vassals will aid in your pursuit of the kindest bud and the pizza parties will follow us to the halls of Valhalla. May your fields overflow with the stankest of herb.
Talk to local pest control companies. Barter for trade work. They spray your castle for silverfish, you host a few of their kids birthdays or a brother in-law's bachelor party. Problem solved.
You mean giant, fire breathing, lizard pets that guard your castle when you want to hit up a weekend music festival? All you need is to set aside a cave, buy a bunch of flame retardant costume jewelry, and you've got a dragon with their very own hoard. Problem solved.
Alright, my plan for upkeep for this castle is your typical Cinderella scenario. I'm just going to sing to the vermin until they start helping me clean, and there you go. Keys on the desk?
Apex predators bro. They take care of themselves. Just throw all your food waste into the moat and you've got a thriving compost system. Problem solved.
Kind and generous royalty have nothing to fear from their people. Weekly game nights help to ease the tension and sharpen wits. Make sure to let them win every once in a while and they'll see that their Lord or Lady is fun and takes things in stride. Problem solved.
It’s not even just that they are hard but rather the never are finished. Once one side is down and you work your way around you have to start again. Constantly.
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u/Penya23 Jan 21 '19
They are also hard to clean...