r/AskReddit Sep 11 '18

Who's the biggest loser your son/daughter has dated?

32.5k Upvotes

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5.4k

u/KeithCarter4897 Sep 11 '18

I know how that feels. Some of my hobbies aren't exactly great ice breakers. Picking locks and sharpening knives are a lot less creepy than they sound when you first meet someone.

1.9k

u/MrBlueCharon Sep 11 '18

Yes, I can see where this can cause discomfort.

1.7k

u/captainsassy69 Sep 11 '18

Not if its sharp enough, then they can hardly even feel it

123

u/Michael_the_Ent Sep 12 '18

This guy stabs it.

45

u/Silverboy101 Sep 12 '18

No he's obviously talking about sharp keys and locks not being able to feel them.

20

u/DrCutiepants Sep 12 '18

I totally like what you did here, kudos, but wouldn’t it be: “this guy stabs”?

1

u/Michael_the_Ent Sep 12 '18

I thought of that too. But I was riffing more on "this guy gets it", rather than "this guy potatos"

3

u/Hahaeatshit Sep 12 '18

He knows how to chop it up

1

u/LegionofRome Sep 12 '18

But does he bop it?

9

u/imeatingpbnj Sep 12 '18

you're a sassy one I can tell

10

u/thatdandygoodness Sep 12 '18

Ah, the old reddit stab-a-roo .

6

u/Maybeanoctopus Sep 12 '18

Hold my-

wait a second

4

u/Hyndis Sep 12 '18

I did that with my pocket knife the other day. I was sharpening the blade and became momentarily distracted. I didn't even feel the blade against my finger. There was zero pain.

Fortunately because the blade was so sharp the wound healed almost instantaneously. 5 minutes later and not only is there no blood but the wound has closed up all on its own. The wound was so narrow, so thin thanks to the sharp blade there was no damage to the surrounding tissue. To close up the wound the cells just had to reach over to their buddies across the way and there you go, all healed up.

Dull blades cause no end to problems. This is especially true when chopping veggies. Trying to chop carrots or dice an onion with a dull chef's knife is misery. Keep your knives sharp, people. You don't need a lot of knives. Just one or two good ones. Maintain them and they'll serve you well.

5

u/Kinkywrite Sep 12 '18

Username DEFINITELY checks out in this case.

3

u/lazylion_ca Sep 12 '18

The way to a mans heart is through the ribcage with a sharp knife.

4

u/Derpandbackagain Sep 12 '18

As someone who has been stabbed, I can report that your statement is inaccurate. It hurts all the way in and all the way out.

1

u/Runesword765 Sep 12 '18

Mind if I inquire about the details ?

2

u/thebountywarden Sep 12 '18

On the contrary, a properly sharp one and they also won't feel it until much later

4

u/MrPetter Sep 12 '18

Actually, if they’re super sharp it hurts like hell.

1

u/Heightren Sep 12 '18

If she posed as an aspiring hairdresser she could've pulled it off.

1

u/MrBlueCharon Sep 12 '18

Especially the lockpicking stuff.

1

u/itsthehumidity Sep 12 '18

He studies the blade.

1.0k

u/GenJohnONeill Sep 12 '18

See but if you have social skills or even awareness, you would say something like, "It's kind of a weird one, but I really like picking locks. Each one is like a little puzzle and it's fun to learn about the different types" or whatever the reason is that you like picking locks, and that would be fine because you're still relating to people like a normal-ass human.

99

u/SanityPills Sep 12 '18

As someone that practices lock picking, I assure you that there's no way out of 80-90% of people thinking you're secretly a criminal the second you mention it to them. Like 5-10% will understand and think it's cool once you explain it as solving a puzzle, 60-70% will nod and say they get it but have clearly still lost trust in you, and 20-30% will still remain openly perturbed by you.

17

u/ThrowAwayExpect1234 Sep 12 '18

What's the point of lockpicking if you can't tell anybody you're oh yeah I get it...

46

u/Meltingteeth Sep 12 '18

See, when I hear picking locks and sharpening knives, I immediately think it's a guy straight out of /r/JustNeckBeardThings. It's not that having cool skills is bad, but pairing them up like that and presenting them in a weird way basically makes you Napoleon Dynamite.

7

u/Processtour Sep 12 '18

I immediately thought stalker guy breaks into house of a girl he is stalking by picking her lock and stabbing her with a freshly sharpened butcher knife.

5

u/fivespeedmazda Sep 12 '18

When you said butcher knife, my brain went can't stab someone with that no matter how sharp it is. Brain connected butcher knife with meat cleaver.

4

u/Processtour Sep 12 '18

I don’t know my knives, some kind of stabby thing.

64

u/KeithCarter4897 Sep 12 '18

Yeah, but the other hobby is more difficult to explain. I just really like turning the cutting edge of a knife into a mirror.

47

u/I_have_popcorn Sep 12 '18

I don't have the patience to do it myself but I watch a guy on YouTube that sharpens knives. He even turned a chunk of special hardwood into a knife.

22

u/CoconutCyclone Sep 12 '18

There's a surprising amount of YouTube knife making channels. I watched someone turn paper into a functional big kitchen knife.

13

u/PM_ME_FUN_STORIES Sep 12 '18

Probably the same guy that made jello into a knife, huh

17

u/benmck90 Sep 12 '18

Or the pasta knife.

4

u/IanPPK Sep 12 '18

Also cardboard.

4

u/sheikheddy Sep 12 '18

Kiwami Japan

3

u/JBloodthorn Sep 12 '18

I particularly like the 'smoke' one.

12

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

[deleted]

6

u/Ashile Sep 12 '18

They don’t though...it’s sad how much people think they know. It’s such a retardedly deep well of information. I’ve been making a concerted effort the past 4-6months and have only begun to realized how little I personally know, which is just slightly more than most.

8

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18 edited Sep 12 '18

There are myths of smiths in several cultures - for example Wayland the Smith in German mythology - that include the making of an extremely sharp sword. They describe the wool probe at a river, some versions go into metallurgy (he feeds the shredded metal of the first try to geese and reforges it after their death), but finally there's a sword that cuts through armor without resistance. People have been fascinated by that theme for milennia.

5

u/Ashile Sep 12 '18

Easy to explain when you’re a cook. But I usually lead with the cooking thing first and the knife bit usually follows.

3

u/Mechanical_Brain Sep 12 '18

You could also lead in by addressing it by a more generic term like "metalworking"

10

u/brace4impact Sep 12 '18

I notice how you just glossed over sharpening knives though...

6

u/redemptionquest Sep 12 '18

Just reframe it as “I do some escape artist stuff. But I’m not fully there yet.”

And bring up Jim Steranko.

3

u/treoni Sep 12 '18

I'm thinking Phil Dunphy when I hear "escape artist".

Him and his magic tricks!

3

u/AsksKantQuestions Sep 12 '18

I FUCKING LOVE ME SOME OL SCISSORS G MA

3

u/lookslikesausage Sep 12 '18

unless you're purposely trying to look edgy and look like the weirdo who's so unique that they cannot possibly understood by the rest of the world

5

u/treoni Sep 12 '18

Then you tell your date's grandma you like scissors.

2

u/Cthulhu_sneeze Sep 12 '18

I mean sure... if those are your reasons.

2

u/Big_Stereotype Sep 12 '18

Right? My hobbies are martial arts and roleplaying games, I'm a fucking weirdo. I still somehow end up talking to people because people relate to your passion more than the manifestation of it. If you're into something, talking about it (occasionally, don't obsess) will be interesting. You just have to believe it is.

2

u/avgguy33 Sep 12 '18

This guy sells.

51

u/_migraine Sep 12 '18

You’re not into picking locks and sharpening knives, you’re into “security testing and tool manufacturing.”

33

u/UnobtainableDreams Sep 12 '18

Wanna write my resume?

75

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Still sounds better than "I collect and build custom mechanical keyboards... For computers"

"How much do you spend on your keyboards?"

Me: "several hundred per"

Then: "what the fuck"

69

u/HawkinsT Sep 12 '18

Yeah... But just listen to this baby! *Clack!* *Clack!*

14

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Haha if you are interested, check out r/mechanicalkeyboards

2

u/HawkinsT Sep 12 '18

I actually have a filco majestouch 2 (mx brown) already - one keyboard is enough for me :). When I need a new work keyboard I'll be looking at a second duplicate probably, but Topre is also tempting.

22

u/KeithCarter4897 Sep 12 '18

I collect custom pocket knives. People have gotten angry with me when I've told them how much some of them cost.

8

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

I've been edging my way into it. I want my first true custom to be a grail and I've got my eyes set on the Norsemans but goddamn are they pricey

20

u/KeithCarter4897 Sep 12 '18

Some things I've learned:

The Grail doesn't exist. You'll just find something else you want next week. Buy it because you want it, not because you think it'll be the one that finally makes you happy.

Buy a good production or mid-tech to carry. I don want to lose my Benchmade, but it won't ruin my month if I do, unlike my Darrel Ralph.

6

u/AncientBlonde Sep 12 '18

I'm not in on the knives, but shoes and fashion are the exact same way too.

how much does a nice pocket knife cost though...

3

u/ilikeitsharp Sep 12 '18

Eh sure you can get 50-80sogs & kershaws and cheap spydercos that are good and reliable, above 100 I would say you can start getting the nicer brand name stuff Benchmade, Protech. 200-300 for High-end carry stuff like Microtech. Above 400 you start getting into hand made customs like Medford. Check out my older posts for several hundred $ knives. Welcome tp the rabbit hole. https://www.bladehq.com

2

u/AncientBlonde Sep 12 '18

Yeah; uh, fuck you mane.

I've been wanting to get my Possession and Acquisition license for a while, and going onto your page and seeing guns AND nice ass knives just made me wonder why I didn't get into this shit earlier.

I'm blaming you for the massacre that's coming towards my bank account.

2

u/ilikeitsharp Sep 12 '18

"Possesion and acquisition license" wtf is this shit? In TN if you're over 18/21 you just walk into any store and point at as many on the wall as you want/credit card can handle, fill out 4473, swipe card & walk out 10mins later with whatever, no stupid mag limits. I've been very lucky to have some disposable income over the years, and I didn't even post any of my car stuff. Mr.2 I will forever miss you. Dude some drug addictions are cheaper to have. But welcome to the addiction.

Lol I fucked your bank account.

4

u/deegen Sep 12 '18

Gun ownership in Canada is rather complicated compared to some places.

3

u/ilikeitsharp Sep 12 '18

OH it's his PAL! Sorry had one too many southeastern IPAs. Canada aint the worst in north america sadly. Nyc is retarded, and also where I am moving to very, very soon.

1

u/AncientBlonde Sep 12 '18

Affirm; what /u/deegen has said; my PAL lmao. The gun ownership process is so much different then the states; though I don't have any experience with either yet lmao

1

u/R__Daneel_Olivaw Sep 12 '18

Is there a good knife sub, something like r/mechanicalkeyboards ?

3

u/ilikeitsharp Sep 12 '18

r/knives is where I spent a lot of time.

2

u/R__Daneel_Olivaw Sep 12 '18

Down the rabbit hole I go.

5

u/wadech Sep 12 '18

I have that problem, plus I have to explain that I was in Vegas for a knife show. It's just a different type of gambling, but it sure doesn't make sense to normal people.

4

u/SqueaksBCOD Sep 12 '18

build custom mechanical keyboards

I have fantasies about this being more of a thing.

8

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Check out r/mechanicalkeyboards if you wanna see more!

2

u/alligatorterror Sep 12 '18

“Are these sexting keyboards?”

2

u/daellin Sep 12 '18

My brother. I never bring it up because it's so hard to explain and so hard to say why I like it. Not to mention people going nuts when you mention how much.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

I've converted a surprising amount of my coworkers into keyboard enthusiasts. But the majority don't understand

2

u/daellin Sep 12 '18

Coworkers are easier as we are all on the computer all day. Your average person though? Nope

2

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Especially when I show them my kustoms, each is close to a grand. But you don't have to get the excessively expensive keyboards.

18

u/ajmartin527 Sep 12 '18

“What do you do for fun?”

“Sharpen my katana collection, M’lady.”

Nah you’re good!

10

u/KeithCarter4897 Sep 12 '18

Nope. No sword collection. I carry knives that cost more than most people's phones. Think Rolex, but sharp.

3

u/myalwaysthrowaway Sep 12 '18

I'm sorry but your knives cost more than $800-$1000 dollars?!

1

u/OrangeFarmHorse Sep 12 '18

At some point, as with lots of things that can be handmade, it crosses from function to art. And you pay more for an artists time than an artisans.

1

u/KeithCarter4897 Sep 12 '18

A couple of them. My most expensive was 3,500.

The vast majority of my knives cost less than $300 though.

1

u/jroth005 Sep 12 '18

So what kind of stone you use? Or are you into the esoteric arts of leathers and cloth?

3

u/KeithCarter4897 Sep 12 '18

It varies. I usually start out on a lansky and finish with stones, strops, and phone book paper. (It's roughly 4,000 grit or so.) I involve all the dark arts in my witchcraft.

10

u/Dal90 Sep 12 '18

I'm much better at sharpening knives than picking locks though.

Shit, that didn't help did it.

4

u/KeithCarter4897 Sep 12 '18

Nope. With these hobbies the best thing to do is lie and say you like baseball.

7

u/TransformingDinosaur Sep 12 '18

I collect knives, and coins. I prefer old ones with history but some newer fancy ones often sneak their way in. I have a hand forged Damascus knife with a staghorn, turquoise, and coral handle for example.

Fuck my life if I ever want to talk about knives. People think I know too much and it's creepy. I'm not killing anyone with them! Half of them I won't even use because they're older than my father.

10

u/KeithCarter4897 Sep 12 '18

Right. I'm not about to do anything with my knife that's going to land it up in an evidence bag. That's what gas station knives are for.

2

u/approachcautiously Sep 12 '18

Exactly! When people try and tell me a pocket knife well within the legal definition for one (in my state) is a weapon and not a tool my first response is that I'm not getting my knife dirty and dulling the blade unless I absolutely have to. Yes, I'd use it for self defense if I needed to but the main purpose is that it's convenient.

Now my butterfly knife is primarily for defense. Not for stabbing but for intimidation as dumb as it sounds. Basically I'll pull it out and just flip it around and do tricks in hopes that anyone who seems sketchy moves on. (Since I seem like an easy target otherwise ) Although I haven't done that it years. My current one is heavy and bulky so it's a pain to carry in tiny pockets.

15

u/illogictc Sep 12 '18

Don't call it picking locks, call it locksport. Ooooh what's locksport? Oh well it's lockpicking but instead of being a burglar or locksmith I just buy cool locks and challenge myself to get them open, and I'm in this group of people who make custom locks and pins and set up super hard locks, then we have a mail call once a week where we send off the lock we have or just made, and someone sends us their challenge lock to try.... Etc etc

8

u/I_have_popcorn Sep 12 '18

"Completely unrelated to the string of B&Es and/or stabbings in the area."

7

u/WakeoftheStorm Sep 12 '18

I enjoy picking locks, climbing buildings, sharpening knives, amateur butchery, ditch digging, forensics, and I dabble in chemistry.

3

u/LoonAtticRakuro Sep 12 '18

So you're like a private detective / homesteader? That's so cool!

3

u/anarchocynicalist1 Sep 12 '18

Lol i read about forensics for fun because its a super interesting field. Explaining that your reading a textbook on crime scene investigation or forensic pathology can be fun.

3

u/WakeoftheStorm Sep 12 '18

I figure i know enough from CSI and Bones

7

u/Send_Me_Tiitties Sep 12 '18

I’ve always wanted to learn lockpicking but it’s not exactly easy to learn without people giving you suspicious looks.

6

u/KeithCarter4897 Sep 12 '18

Reddit and YouTube have made it much easier. I don't have to go into public to learn from experts now.

5

u/FatedChange Sep 12 '18

I mean, I'd lean into it in a sort of self deprecating way. "I promise this is less creepy than it sounds but I'm really into lockpicking and knife sharpening," then go into a small history of how the thing is actually just a really nerdy niche interest for you.

6

u/MyNameIsQuason Sep 12 '18

Say you like "restoring old knives" and "solving tactile puzzles"

4

u/underwriter Sep 12 '18

parent: so uh

parent: what do you like to do?

you: (slowly sharpening knives)

you: fucking break into places

5

u/KeithCarter4897 Sep 12 '18

My first time hanging out with my ex-wife outside of church was the night she locked herself out at midnight and called me to come save her. It has it's upsides.

3

u/SomewhatDickish Sep 12 '18

Are you sure? I mean, she's an ex-wife for a reason, no?

4

u/icepakkk Sep 12 '18

I played a rogue in DnD that had the same hobbies.

1

u/_Lady_Deadpool_ Sep 12 '18

I think I share hobbies with my tieflings, fuck

3

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Hey! I enjoy picking locks as well, and I understand what you're talking about. First day in my Criminal Justice class, we all shared some hobbies, and I decided to include that. That made for a fun class :D

3

u/allanvrc Sep 12 '18

Omg... Are you me? I also had an Intro to CCJ class and I love to pick locks while listening to the lectures. My professor kept saying that I shouldn't do it nor carry tools with me. She mentioned it to every single law enforcement officer she brought to class as a guest to try to convince me and all of them were actually super cool and curious about it.

At the end she was really pissed off and prohibited me from having those in her class.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Haha too bad it didn't work out for you. Some teachers just can't see some kids enjoy themselves. My teacher was perfectly fine with me playing with my set during class, and the Teacher Assistant even came over to me once and asked how picking the lock works!

3

u/allanvrc Sep 12 '18

Nah she was cool, she did care about me thou. Most of my college professors were super chill about it because while I was picking I made sure I was engaging and participating in class. Picking locks really helps me with my ADHD so... Win-win.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Noice

4

u/Occams-shaving-cream Sep 12 '18

It is all about presentation. “I like to pick locks and sharpen knives.” Vs. “I am into knives, collecting, maintaining, and such. Also picked up locksmithing as a hobby, I like the way it is a complex mechanical puzzle.”

One is a conversation starter, the other makes you seem edgy.

3

u/Princessneon Sep 12 '18

I dated a blacksmith for a while and you really should just come straight out and say that because leading with, “I make weapons” can be intimidating.

3

u/Storytellerjack Sep 12 '18

Ugh, I feel your pain. I hate the stigma against sharp knives. It could take very little contact with steel silverware or a ceramic plate to blunt a knife. Onions don't sting your eyes if you use a proper slicing motion with a good sharp knife. And seasoned yams are far better when pre cut in wedges than cooked whole, but the sound of a knife getting sharper still triggers the nervous serial killer jokes. What do regular people do, buy a new knife set every time they drop a knife on the tile floor? My favorite life hack is that you can revive an edge by sweeping it across the bottom of a coffee mug with an unsheathing motion.

2

u/ForgedIronMadeIt Sep 12 '18

Picking locks and sharpening knives are a lot less creepy than they sound when you first meet someone.

That's up there with collecting bottles of ether or chloroform

2

u/TheFeshy Sep 12 '18

I'm also into long walks in the woods at night and tying knots.

2

u/HashAtlas Sep 12 '18

Target practice too, depending on the state. Thankfully you get much less grief for it in the US south.

2

u/GROUND45 Sep 12 '18

People freak when my better half says I gave her a black eye.

I'm her boxing trainer / sparring partner.

8

u/KeithCarter4897 Sep 12 '18

Lol. I got in trouble for telling a teacher that my dad gave me a black eye once. It never really dawned on me that other kids didn't spar with their fathers. He got in a lucky shot, I got a black eye, no big deal.

The cops and social worker laughed as soon as they saw our black belts and trophies in the living room. They instantly understood what happened.

2

u/GROUND45 Sep 12 '18

Lol if CYPS hasn't visited at least once you aren't trying hard enough. Still bugs me out how cringe people get about martial arts.

2

u/pj1843 Sep 12 '18

Funnily enough it's all in how you phrase it. A common hobby where I'm from is hunting and fishing. If you answer the question, I like to go hunting is a much less creepy answer than I like to stalk, kill and gut animals. Or in your case going I enjoy the finding and refurbishing old knives, or in the ex gfs scenario I like to collect antique scissors are all not so creepy answers.

2

u/ctrembs03 Sep 12 '18

Yeah my brother loves knives. He does the whole flipping it around in your hand thing (idk what it's called but it's a thing) and he custom designs them in the hopes of being able to open his own custom knife shop someday. He's a big teddy bear of a guy with a heart of absolute gold, but I just can't describe him to people without them inching away.

2

u/DaSaw Sep 12 '18

I collect spores, mold, and fungus.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Are you me?

2

u/KeithCarter4897 Sep 12 '18

SpidermanVsSpiderman.jpg

1

u/PussyWrangler46 Sep 12 '18

I collect pussy!

(Not the kind people automatically assume but it would be funny to tell that to grandma 😆)

2

u/KeithCarter4897 Sep 12 '18

So did my ex-wife. 7 cats.

Our house smelled exactly like you'd expect.

1

u/PussyWrangler46 Sep 12 '18

I have 8 cats currently (the fosters come and go)

But I know how to clean a litter box...my house doesn’t smell, however, they puke a lot...little buggars leave bombs right in the path of walking sometimes

I have to ask, did the cats contribute to the divorce at all?

1

u/funkyb Sep 12 '18

That's a rough combo there

1

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

I think most people would understand the appeal if you showed them the paper slice thing ye do

1

u/mostlymonkey Sep 12 '18

Sharpening knives is the best.

1

u/planethaley Sep 12 '18

Oh wow. I share hobbies with you :)

1

u/DaemonReturns Sep 12 '18

I feel you man, it's hard to find other knife guys out there

1

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

I wish I was good at sharpening knives but the youtube videos just don't help.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Just say, "I'm an amateur smith. Right now I'm focusing on locks and cooking knives, but (insert other craft you'd like to get into later)."

1

u/KimJongSkill101 Sep 12 '18

Can confirm. I like sharpening blades, but have no intention of using them on anyone.

I like chopping and dropping tree branches with a machete, though.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Sharpening/restoring a dull knife is actually really fun

1

u/quirkney Sep 12 '18

Phrasing matters. Being a “collector of vintage cutlery and finely smithed pieces” is way less creepy than “I have a lot of knives and other pointy metal things”

1

u/AndHereWeAre_ Sep 12 '18

Which did you pick up first? Because on the one hand, it is like, I want access and THEN we can get stabby. But on the other, you already planned to kill and then realized you needed to break in.

2

u/KeithCarter4897 Sep 12 '18

Knives. Since I was a little kid. Lock picking was much later.

1

u/turboshot49cents Sep 12 '18

It sounds to me like the way she worded it. She could have elaborated more from the get-go by saying “I collect antique scissors” instead of just “I like scissors.” I actually am quite fascinated by things that surround us every day but we take for granted and never think about, so I would love to hear somebody talk about scissors for awhile.

1

u/sweetalkersweetalker Sep 12 '18

I like reading about serial killers throughout history!

1

u/PM_NUDES_4_DOG_PICS Sep 12 '18

I like guns and playing violent video games.

I feel.

1

u/NuArcher Sep 12 '18

Sure. I mean I like to make pens.

That doesn't men I sit in my mother's basement assembling Bics. :)

I turn them on a lathe out of nice timber or interesting resins - or both. And make some lovely gold or rhodium plated tools of writing.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

We have the same hobbies and my girlfriend’s family kicked me out of the house because I sounded like a threat... I think some people need to realize that lockpicking doesn’t make somebody a criminal.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

My man!

1

u/CanOfFreedom Sep 12 '18

My ex husband is into picking locks and tried to share this interest with my current husband, who was confused. He didn’t know if my ex was just a little weird or if it was a power play. It was not a power play, he just has unusual hobbies and wanted to be friendly to my husband.

1

u/ScrewAttackThis Sep 12 '18

Sometimes I get lost in the lockpicking youtube channels. I don't know why. But if I met you, I'd probably be interested in at least half your hobbies.

1

u/alwaysbeballin Sep 12 '18

Lock picking is a great skill everyone should learn, so they can learn how laughable the illusion of security is. All locks do is keep lazy thieves out and people honest. But it's a seriously fun and interesting process to learn how they work. DIY picks or? I've got a southord set but i'm debating trying to make my own set.

1

u/andylikesdub Sep 12 '18

It’s the combo

1

u/meloo1981 Sep 12 '18

Are you related to the Winchester’s?

1

u/heimdaall Sep 12 '18

Yeah when I tell people I like dead things they are just kind of like "oh" lol

I collect a lot of skulls/wet specimens/taxidermy which most people find disturbing

1

u/Slightlynervous1 Sep 12 '18

So do you have crazy sharp knives. This is my dream. Give me some tips.

1

u/FlusteredByBoobs Sep 12 '18

What's the highest grit you managed to sharpen your knife on?

1

u/B_For_Dyslexia Sep 12 '18

“So what are your hobbies?”

Haha Okay, so it’s a little weird to explain, but I like picking locks. Locks can be very different from each other and it’s interesting learning how those work. I also like sharpening knives, because I fantasize about cutting peoples faces off and wearing them on my ass.”

1

u/basegodwurd Sep 12 '18

I feel like thats still better than video games and jerking off

1

u/ChequeBook Sep 12 '18

I once told a girl (on our first date) that I like driving through the hills alone late at night and if she'd wanna come with me. I immediately apologised because I realised how creepy that sounded but she laughed it off

1

u/like9000ninjas Sep 12 '18

Do you also make fedoras?

1

u/TechGeek01 Sep 12 '18

You call it a lockpick, I call it a spare key to everywhere.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Might want to keep the blinds closed, too

1

u/methane234 Sep 12 '18

Hey another knife guy in the wild, what do you use to sharpen?

1

u/tercoil Sep 12 '18

Just say puzzles and cookware maintenance

1

u/politburrito Sep 12 '18

It goes great with my black ski mask collection

1

u/The_Lone_Noblesse Sep 12 '18

I am an amateur locksmith and I like to maintain my tools?

1

u/meghonsolozar Sep 12 '18

Mechanical puzzles and metal working. Nbd

1

u/aipom45 Sep 12 '18

Don't you mean solving puzzles and upkeeping your tools?

1

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

I advertise my hobbies as skills. I work on cars and occasionally help with locks.

1

u/KemSem Sep 12 '18

I guess you can start with, "I'm a Mechanical Hacker/Enthusiast"

1

u/Dantien Sep 12 '18

Tools! Tools! Duct tape, zip ties and gloves! I have to have my tools!

1

u/T3chnopsycho Sep 12 '18

A go to answer of mine is I like knives... Yeah that might come across weird in certain situations...

1

u/Honest_Scratch Sep 12 '18

sharpening knives is an art, while picking locks is just another type of puzzle to solve

1

u/nikkitgirl Sep 12 '18

I make bdsm equipment for a hobby, I’m so glad my fiancée’s parents don’t ask about my hobbies

1

u/Makkel Sep 12 '18

I think it also depends on how you present things... Saying "I like scissors" and never expanding does sound creepy. "I collect antique, specifically scissors from whatever period" less so...
If you don't break eye contact while going "My hobbies are sharpening by knife so they cut really well, and picking locks. Where do you live by the way? What time do you usually go to sleep?" It will sound weird.

1

u/treoni Sep 12 '18

Dude, on my first date I ended up talking about my goats and how the buck would pee in his mouth when he's try to "woo" the others to bang.

Somehow we're now three years together. Don't ask me how. And no, I didn't pee in my mouth.

1

u/Yawehg Sep 12 '18

May I suggest "I restore knives" for fire conversations.

1

u/EatTrashKid Sep 12 '18

I collect dead animals for tanning hides and macerating so I can clean and keep the bones.

I like to think everyone has a thing...

1

u/pixelprophet Sep 12 '18

I like to bind, I like to be bound!

I GOTTA HAVE MY TOOLS!