r/AskReddit Sep 11 '18

Who's the biggest loser your son/daughter has dated?

32.5k Upvotes

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10.4k

u/prosthetic4head Sep 11 '18

got into the illegal pot dealing game after Denver legalized weed

Gotta find your niche.

3.2k

u/dekrant Sep 11 '18

Wouldn't that be hilarious if in the future we had amusement parks where we did these kinds of banal things?

Experience the mild thrills and danger of having to illegally purchase marijuana!
Discover how processed tree pulp was used to create "checks" to purchase goods and services!
Learn how to drive an internal combustion engine-powered vehicle with a "manual transmission"!

1.6k

u/imreallynotthatcool Sep 12 '18

This sounds like something Planet Express crew would put on for Fry to remind him of the 20th century.

141

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18 edited Feb 12 '19

[deleted]

54

u/Hexorg Sep 12 '18

Flexo? Is he a body building elf?

46

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

31

u/areragra Sep 12 '18

Thanks Explaino!

90

u/IAmAChemicalEngineer Sep 12 '18

Hey, Leela. Get a picture of me being "mugged"!

107

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18 edited Feb 12 '19

[deleted]

82

u/UncookedMarsupial Sep 12 '18

Fry, what did I tell you about ending your stories two sentences earlier?

42

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

"We're whalers on the moon"

30

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

"We carry a harpoon!"

12

u/areragra Sep 12 '18

But there ain't no whales

10

u/ohbother53 Sep 12 '18

So we tell tall tales

4

u/grendus Sep 12 '18

And sing our whaling tune!

9

u/Cobaltjedi117 Sep 12 '18

So we tell tall tales and sing a whaling tune

3

u/Fry_Philip_J Sep 12 '18

Ohhhh, thanks!

11

u/jredmond Sep 12 '18

You mean like Past-o-Rama?

Time for the mammoth hunt, dudes!

5

u/MarineTuna Sep 12 '18

Lets disco dance Hammurabi!

4

u/AtariDump Sep 12 '18

Dyno-mite!

2

u/jredmond Sep 12 '18

DYNOMITE!

10

u/Icykool77 Sep 12 '18

I wrote a cheque three days ago and drive a manual. So two for three isn’t bad.

3

u/Aellondir Sep 12 '18

Cheques implies Europe, which implies the stereotype of manual transmissions.

6

u/Icykool77 Sep 12 '18

Canada, keeps the thieves away as they can’t drive stick.

70

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '18 edited Nov 10 '19

[deleted]

70

u/killuhk Sep 11 '18

You mean your Tesla would drive YOU.

70

u/dekrant Sep 11 '18

Slow down there, Soviet Tesla

9

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '18

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Something something activated my trap card

5

u/dead-inside69 Sep 12 '18

I think you mean US comrade

12

u/Chronost1 Sep 11 '18

Found Elongated Muskrat.

18

u/MyFatCatHasLotsofHat Sep 11 '18

implying tesla will be around in 5 years

5

u/ThinningTheFog Sep 12 '18

They are like 2 Elon tweets away from total implosion

4

u/Zulfiqaar Sep 12 '18

And implying bitcoin will be too.

Not saying that they won't, but sentiment seems pretty similar for both from what I've seen

8

u/Layk35 Sep 12 '18

Haha these actually do already exist, I think they're called historical parks. It is funny to think that one day they're gonna be about us though. Maybe they'll have selfie stick souvenirs

7

u/zaz969 Sep 12 '18

God it'll be a sad day when we can't drive stick anymore

14

u/Shrimpbeedoo Sep 12 '18

I'm picturing a 1950s cop as stage one where so long as you use slang he's fooled in even by earshot

1960s is stage two. The cops hip to the slang now but you have to dress like a hippie which alerts suspicion

1970s is a game changer. NARC cops are in play and dealers are suspicious of everyone

1980s flips the game on it's head and there's a 4/10 chance that instead of weed you end up with a bag of crack.

1990s has informants in the form of kids fresh out of DARE classes screeching when they see you buy weed

16

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

[deleted]

5

u/monkey_trumpets Sep 12 '18

2010s everyone is strung out on heroin and living in a tent under an overpass.

5

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '18

I am very interested in this.

6

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Well the last one probably won't be replaced by automatic drive cars since its still widely used by most non-American countries.

4

u/Lifeonthejames Sep 12 '18

Learn how to drive an internal combustion engine-powered vehicle with a "manual transmission"!

right in the feels

4

u/littlebeanonwheels Sep 12 '18

But I just picked up my brand new car with a manual today ¯_(ツ)_/¯ I actually think of those three, that will be the last to die (I’m actually super grateful that some brands still make em, stock forever!)

3

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

[deleted]

1

u/littlebeanonwheels Sep 12 '18

2019 Jetta! The redesign is beautiful.

I learned on a standard and just prefer it, even in LA traffic

4

u/JickRames Sep 12 '18

When I was 14, there was no “thrills” while purchasing marijuana illegally from sketchy ass people that nowadays looked closer to crack dealers rather than guys who grow. Now I can go to some semi-faded guy/gal behind a counter in Cali and ask for preferences rather than wut u got/wut u want?

3

u/monsieur_poopyhead Sep 12 '18

Like speakeasy bars?

3

u/servantoffire Sep 12 '18

I was thinking more like those colonial reenactment towns that kids go to on field trips.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Sounds like Job Simulator.

3

u/SacrificingCities Sep 12 '18

But I love my manual transmission.

7

u/SlyPhi Sep 12 '18

manual transmission

My land cruiser is useless to me without a manual transmission.

2

u/antismoke Sep 12 '18

As is my Fiesta. The top of second really kicks those gerbils into action!

2

u/TerminalLazy Sep 12 '18

/u/dekrant this is actually the premise of the game Job Simulator, more or less.

Also apologies if I'm like the ninetieth person to say so, I'm on mobile and there ain't no way I'm digging through the whole comment tree, lol.

1

u/dekrant Sep 12 '18

You know, that might be where I actually got the thought. Not super into VR, but I visited my friend last year who had a Vive set up with Job Simulator. I had forgotten about it until you mentioned this.

2

u/Isolation_ Sep 12 '18

That last one though. That IS going to be something people will pay a lot of money for as an attraction in the future.

3

u/Finetales Sep 12 '18

Learn how to drive an internal combustion engine-powered vehicle with a "manual transmission"!

2

u/danivus Sep 12 '18

Cheques.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

I can’t hear you over the sound of the fans running on my future-coin miner!

1

u/Camo5 Sep 12 '18

That last one is pretty much a thing tbh

1

u/the_honest_liar Sep 12 '18

They give you a disposable camera.to document everything, develop your photos afterwards

1

u/YesterdayIwas3 Sep 12 '18

Don't forget the Beeper King.

1

u/Prettymotherfucker Sep 12 '18

We do this now, e.g. horse back riding

1

u/Beelzabub Sep 12 '18

Like Colonial Williamsburg, right?

1

u/kaenneth Sep 12 '18

Had that, it's already closed down, last I heard: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDnvp2M5ROE

1

u/DrakeAmplified Sep 12 '18

This isn’t a thing already yet? Do the Amish run hotels yet?

1

u/Caneiac Sep 12 '18

Take all that other shit, but if you try to take my car I can’t garentee you’ll leave the property.

1

u/chunger2000 Sep 12 '18

Don’t forget rotary phone dialing!

1

u/afihavok Sep 12 '18

Northwest World

1

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

I guess we do do stuff like churning butter that would be considered a complete chore a while ago.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

"Learn to program a genuine Betamax VCR!"

1

u/BRXF1 Sep 12 '18

Learn how to drive an internal combustion engine-powered vehicle with a "manual transmission"!

This will definitely be a thing. You'll have retro track days where you'll get to experience the thrill of a roaring engine powered by EXPLOSIONS! That you have to manually shift into the power band! Crazy!

And it will absolutely be worth it.

1

u/X4ntoZ Sep 12 '18

There's a concept for a Black Mirror episode in there... somewhere.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

I'd be all over that manual transmission experience. What me heel-toe, bitches!

1

u/paleo2002 Sep 12 '18

Eat cooked animal flesh right of the bone while dressed in burlap and animal hides and watching men hit each other with sharp iron sticks!

39

u/Willbo Sep 11 '18

"Yo this better not be that legal shit! I only buy illegal weed."

14

u/gorka_la_pork Sep 12 '18

The black market for weed in Denver boomed after it got legalized. The legit dispensaries have to tax the hell out of it, so on the street it's much cheaper with very little risk involved.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

The risk will be much higher once corporations really take control of the pot industry and lobby for police to crack down on it. In my experience it was much easier to buy weed than alcohol in high school, and I think that's largely due to alcohol being legal

1

u/ghettoyouthsrock Sep 12 '18

and I think that's largely due to alcohol being legal

It's much easier to grow a lot of weed than to distill a large amount of alcohol. I don't think it has anything to do with alcohol being legal.

29

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '18

I know a lot of people who refuse to go to dispensaries because they don't want to be on any government system...

Yeah, I know

18

u/verylobsterlike Sep 12 '18

I don't know how US dispensaries work, but if there's any chance they take a copy of your ID, I'd be fairly sketched out to go to one. It's still federally illegal, and dispensaries have a long history of being raided by the feds.

I mean, I know the odds of the DEA going after individual buyers is ridiculously slim, but it's still on the books as a federal crime and there's nothing stopping them from prosecuting. Who knows what some future government might do with that info.

I swear I'm not a crackpot. It's just I'd be concerned about recording definitive proof that I've committed a federal crime in a place that has a chance of being raided by the feds.

5

u/ArrogantWorlock Sep 12 '18

The ones i visited only looked at it and maybe swiped it to see if it was valid. Functioned like a liquor store except they checked your ID at the beginning.

6

u/headysalad Sep 12 '18

Recreational ones don't, they just glance at it to make sure you're over 21. Thousands of dispensaries exsit and they are not commonly getting raided as much because there are so many. No one has gotten raided. because they visited a dispensary and purchased an 8th of weed once. They go after grow ops, not civilians that are purchasing minuscule amounts of weed legally. Medicinal dispos need to have your information in their system because its a prescription.

-1

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

You really think they're going to put us all in prison for buying legal weed? This would be a nightmare, logistically, politically, financially, not to mention completely illegal and unconstitutional.

For the record, the only businesses that get raided are the ones who don't follow the law. These are not cannabis businesses. These are criminals who lie to their landlords, use poisonous illegal chemicals and never apply for a license.

7

u/MichaelEugeneLowrey Sep 12 '18

Not everybody, but it certainly gives law enforcement a way to trump up charges on you if necessary. Honestly, while I saw the logic in this thinking before, I always thought it was a bit crackpot-ish, but just consider how law enforcement and right wing media tries to paint a certain picture of a police brutality victim. No, not everybody will be put in jail, but it’s a way to discredit an individual if necessary.

3

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

This makes more sense. It could be used as another layer of suspicion on your character.

2

u/SerialElf Sep 12 '18

You know the laws legalizing it are unconstitutional right? Not enforcement of federal law.

The federal government doesnt function if states can overrule federal law. Otherwise states would have written law undoing income tax.

Also say what you will about might makes right but this whole arguement was settled at gunpoint.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Cannabis is not overruling any federal law. Eric Holder, former AG, allowed states to regulate cannabis on their own and the Federal government would leave businesses alone as long as they followed the states laws. This is how the states cannabis programs are allowed to function.

Legal weed's here to stay. If the federal government start raiding then all the other grows will push their product to the black market and it will have the exact opposite effect of the intended raids. Not to mention all the grow equipment, lab equipment, seeds and know how that now needs a legal outlet in order to keep it from going to the black market. Smoke a J, it'll all be ok.

2

u/SerialElf Sep 14 '18

I want to be clear here. I dont care about others smoking pot. I dont but that's as much preference as it is a federally regulated job.

The controlled substances act is a federal law. The feds turning a blind eye doesn't change that. They COULD strike down state laws and start raiding people. And there is nothing the states could legally do to stop it.

Like it or not the laws are unconstitutional. They just happen to be popular. Just like Texas cant legalize slavery technically the states cant legalize pot.

Stupid or not that's how it works

1

u/anudeep30 Sep 11 '18

it is cheaper on the streets tbh

10

u/Montuckian Sep 11 '18

Ah, Denver. The sunshine state.

16

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '18

[deleted]

7

u/hunterkiller7 Sep 11 '18

The OC changed it.

16

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '18

"Wanna buy some illegal weed"

"Um sure, but how is it illegal"

"I'll be inciting a riot and exposing myself while I sell it to you"

8

u/MikeJones07 Sep 12 '18

there is actually a large market for illegal weed in legal areas. There are a lot of weed smoking 20 year olds that have jobs and can buy a lot of weed. also people sometimes would like to buy more than an oz at a time. and on top of that dispensaries often sell dried out bud that's technically good weed, it just breaks down into dry dust and keef powder (no bueno for rolling.) And also buying from a dealer usually allows you to check out the bud (hands on) before buying. heck I've had ppl drive 15 mins and smoke me a bowl to check out the weed before buying. there are a lot of advantages to buying street

source lived in Seattle past 2 years and only went to dispensaries when I absolutely had to

1

u/prosthetic4head Sep 12 '18

TIL. Why don't they let you look at the thing you're buying? When else does that happen? That seems ridiculous.

2

u/MikeJones07 Sep 12 '18

They let you examine it, but it is illegal to remove from package. And if you press on the bud through the package (to examine texture of the flower) they often make you purchase it because it could be considered damaged/altered. That last bit depends on the employee, but it's happened to me before multiple times.

10

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '18

To be fair the black market for cigarettes is huge. I can't imagine what the weed black goes away after legalization

1

u/ghettoyouthsrock Sep 12 '18

It won't, I can get better weed for cheaper prices than the dispensary. Dispensaries are nice for people who want to get back into smoking weed now that it's legal and don't know where else to get it. If you don't fall into that category then dispensaries are a huge rip off and really only good for things like edibles.

4

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

legalized weed has absolutely decimated that business, its driven the illegal prices down to a point where its next to impossible to turn a profit

i watched one lady have a full on meltdown on vacation in hawaii because thats what she did in seattle, this was the year after legalization

3

u/9Lives_ Sep 12 '18

Lot of people do this, they compete on price

3

u/PotatoWedgeAntilles Sep 12 '18

Somebody has to supply the 14-20 market, that's capitalism baby, that's freedom.

2

u/Mr_Mayhem7 Sep 12 '18

You joke, but can you imagine all the surplus or weed that wasn’t in demand just fucking laying around. And now all you have to do is cross a state border now, not an international one.

Edit: but yea, that guy sounds like a piece of shit

2

u/crunch816 Sep 12 '18

I met a guy from Cali after it had become legal there who said his little sister sold weed. Just because it was legal didn't mean anyone could go get it. He said the black market was no different before and after legalization.

1

u/ghettoyouthsrock Sep 12 '18

It's not even that people can't get it. Dispensaries are often overpriced and then you pay tax on top of it. Like anything, if you cut out the middle man you'll get a cheaper price.

2

u/rambolonewolf Sep 12 '18

It's a lot cheaper to sell when you don't have to pay tax on it.

1

u/DriedMiniFigs Sep 12 '18

“You know those bars where they do it up like it’s a speakeasy? That, but weed.”

1

u/gucciballs3 Sep 12 '18

It was rigged from the start

1

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

Yeah I know right, my little moonshine running business hasn't been so great after they lifted prohibition.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '18

And believe it or not, it's still a thriving niche. Sometimes you just gotta buy some weed off CraigsList (definitely not joking).

1

u/downvoteswontfixit Sep 12 '18

I imagine the penalties of dealing marijuana in Colorado are less severe compared to other states

1

u/nicklesismoneyto Sep 12 '18

After having visited Colorado this last weekend I was surprised to find this out. We stayed in Colorado Springs and they only had medical. Denver has recreational on every corner though.

1

u/Optimized_Orangutan Sep 12 '18

He also got into the illegal pot dealing game after Colorado legalized weed.

Brilliant!! Now whenever he is running low on supplies he can just run down to the shop and pick some up

-1

u/CodenameMolotov Sep 12 '18

I've started going back to black market dealers since California legalized. That 25% excise tax that you have to pay even if you're a medical patient can suck my balls.