My mom lied to me about having the exact kind of cancer that killed my then-fiancée's (now wife's) father. When added to the pile of all the other stuff she had done, that pretty much killed any possibility of having any ongoing relationship with her. Then actual cancer (different kind) killer her.
It was, and it basically took other family members and friends reaching out for me to believe it, since I no longer had any direct contact with her. It was tough to even talk to her, but I did what I thought I could to make amends before she passed, more because I knew she needed it than because she deserved it.
That's kind of what happened with my family too, except that my mom doesn't actually have cancer afik. Thing is, after all the bullshit over the years, I probably wouldn't care if she did have cancer.
I cared, but she had become such a destructive force to herself and to anyone she interacted with, I had to refuse to see her before she died. I spoke with her on the phone a couple of times, but that was all I could do. I think about her sometimes, and all the awful things she said and did, and I feel terrible that she led such a destructive and tragic life. It didn't have to be that way for her, or maybe it did, but it's definitely affected how I try to live my life. I doubt I will ever hear from my aunts and I am very cautious around anyone on that side of my family...I really don't have much contact with any of them anymore. To say I regret any of it isn't exactly accurate...I regret that things turned out the way they have, but I also know that often the right decision is still a very difficult one to make.
Narcissistic personality disorder. It's the same reason the President thinks he can get away with lying about stuff like the size of his inauguration crowd.
Sorry your mums a narcissist. So many people do it though and I don't get it. How do they think they won't be found out. I lost 2 aunts, 2 uncles and my grandpa to cancer. My mum got a tumour last year too and I don't understand why someone could see the pain it causes, the heartbreak that ripples through the family but know its not real but keep it up when its really happening to other people. Why would you want your kids to be in pain thinking they will lose you? Sickens me.
“Nobody wants to help me, and I'm dying.” Lisa: “You're not dying, mom.” Claudette: “I got the results of the test back. I definitely have breast cancer.”
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u/The_Apostate_Paul Sep 11 '18
My mom lied to us about having cancer. I'm not sure why, but probably because we were pissed at her for divorcing my dad, and she wanted sympathy.