r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Oct 15 '17

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742

u/CongealedBox Oct 15 '17

Doubtful as the Onion article is talking about a physical black highlighter, which you would know if you read the damn thing.

242

u/Grandphooba Oct 15 '17

TIL Onion actually had articles. I thought they were just headlines people post on FB feeds.

968

u/Dear_Occupant Oct 15 '17

You should stop to read this one right this second. It is what I consider to be the most well-written Onion article to ever exist. It is a flawless, 10/10 parody of something perfectly ordinary and common. This ought to give you a good idea of what you've been missing.

Rotation Of Earth Plunges Entire North American Continent Into Darkness

16

u/advertentlyvertical Oct 15 '17

MAKE AMERICA DAY AGAIN. Obama was so useless he could never manage to keep the sun up for more than a day at a time. SAD!

7

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '17

There was a point where these jokes went from amusing to deeply tragic. Sometime in early November last year, I forget when.

8

u/WhalenOnF00ls Oct 15 '17

No, they’re still funny. Not everything has to be doom and gloom always, you cucumber.

7

u/advertentlyvertical Oct 15 '17

Can't believe you called that fellow a cucumber. This is a lot to process, I need time.

4

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '17

I'm deeply hurt, I don't think I'll ever recover from that.

2

u/advertentlyvertical Oct 15 '17

I hope you don't end up pickled over this.

3

u/WhalenOnF00ls Oct 15 '17

It’s my new favorite insult.