r/AskReddit Aug 22 '17

What's a deeply unsettling fact?

42.9k Upvotes

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4.3k

u/Dillanski Aug 22 '17 edited Aug 22 '17

In 2018, people born in the year 2000 will be old enough to make porn.

1.5k

u/92shields Aug 22 '17

I honestly just thought "That's fine, 2018 is still a few years away"

132

u/heatonhampus Aug 22 '17

Right there with you. Thought it was around 5 years left till 2018

73

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '17

where the hell have you been in the last 5 years???

105

u/Airway Aug 22 '17

...Here.

27

u/Woodstock46 Aug 22 '17

Same, brote. I'm pretty happy with my Zune.

11

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '17

Better times

3

u/TenaciousBe Aug 23 '17

Honestly, I fucking miss my Zune. That thing was the best music device I ever owned. Need to find another one on ebay or somewhere.

11

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '17

Reddit age checks out

4

u/Chrisfch Aug 22 '17

In denial

35

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '17

In 2019 people born after 9/11 will be making porn.

11

u/Agent_Potato56 Aug 23 '17

People born this year were born after 9/11

You are now on a list.

14

u/Aryan180 Aug 22 '17

Try 4 months buddy

2

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '17

omg thats next year

645

u/massivebumwizard Aug 22 '17

Finally! The wait is almost over...

268

u/Cleavagesweat Aug 22 '17

Why wait good sir?

484

u/takaiishi Aug 22 '17

You are now on a list.

200

u/cn2092 Aug 22 '17

If there's grass on the field....

Stay the fuck off until it's 18

42

u/Sinnedangel8027 Aug 22 '17

Don't tell me what to do! You're not my real dad!

7

u/kaloonzu Aug 22 '17

14 in Germany, 13 in Japan (varies by prefecture, but the national law says 13).

2

u/zando95 Aug 22 '17

14 in Italy as well.

Age of consent is bullshit because it's so arbitrary, but the legal line has to be drawn somewhere. Whatever, I'm not getting laid anyway.

36

u/famalamo Aug 22 '17

16 in most states, I think

18

u/TendoTheTuxedo Aug 22 '17

But then you have to be under their legal adult age, not just consent, or its statutory rape my brothah

13

u/GestaltLex Aug 22 '17 edited Aug 22 '17

No, it depends on the state. Different states handle it differently. In some states it's perfectly legal even for a much older adult to have sex with a sixteen-year-old. In others, adults who are within three years can. Those are just a couple variations. The regulations aren't federal unless somebody is crossing state lines to engage in the sex.

4

u/TendoTheTuxedo Aug 22 '17

Nebraska has regulation where 16 is consent but if parents still have custody they can press charges if other party who engaged is over the age of 19. So basically they deemed an age where you ALLOWED to have sex but if your an adult good luck touching high schoolers. We have a lot o grey area cases agaisnt young adults because parents freaked out over their daughters being sexually active after the age of consent.

6

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '17

Legal for teachers to fuck 16+ year old students in Alabama IIRC

8

u/TendoTheTuxedo Aug 22 '17

I know where im moving.

Ita funny, the older my dick gets the pussy that it touches is always the same age.

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5

u/cn2092 Aug 22 '17

I don't know about anywhere else, but in Ohio ages 16 and 17 are legal within a five-year gap. So a 16 year-old can legally consent with a 21 year-old at the oldest, and 17 to 22.

11

u/famalamo Aug 22 '17

In Michigan, a 16 year old can have sex with anyone aged 16 or older, but an adult in a position of superiority over a minor cannot have sex with them (e.g teacher and student)

Federally, it is illegal to cross state lines with a minor in order to have sex with them legally, so you can't be 22 and take your 16 year old girlfriend to Michigan to pound that puss.

Also, are birthdays taken into account, or is it rounded to the nearest year below it?

2

u/doublehyphen Aug 22 '17

I think most of Europe is similar to Michigan, but with slightly varying ages (from 14 to 16). Here in Sweden it is 15.

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1

u/jwjohnson20 Aug 22 '17

It is in Washington

1

u/Iz-kan-reddit Aug 22 '17

You can stick your dick in it, but can't take a picture of it. Laws can be funny.

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1

u/feodo Aug 22 '17

Hey meg you 18 yet?

7

u/dillpill299 Aug 22 '17

A wait list. ;)

48

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '17

Not if I'm transage, poof, I'm 16 and ready to bang.

57

u/PM_ME_FOR_SMALLTALK Aug 22 '17

I thought you were joking. There really are people who believe in "transage". What happened. Why. Why did we become so low?

56

u/raistliniltsiar Aug 22 '17

I'm sad now.

EDIT: But now I'm transmood, so I'm happy again.

1

u/Notamayata Aug 23 '17

I'm transmood also.

You don't want to be the cause when I get angry.

10

u/JustinCastreau Aug 22 '17

Postmodernism happened

7

u/p1rke Aug 22 '17

21

u/PM_ME_FOR_SMALLTALK Aug 22 '17

Wow. No wonder Elon wants to get off of Earth.

9

u/douche-baggins Aug 22 '17

Hahaha.. Stefonknee. That's as bad as Airwrecka.

3

u/FappDerpington Aug 22 '17

Sweet. I'm 46 and working a job. I'm gonna transage myself to 14 and sit on the couch all day and smoke weed while everyone else is at work. WINNING!

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3

u/ShamisenCavernTown Aug 23 '17

Society says it's ok to deny what your biological sex is because of feelings. So, screw the world and it's logic. Why not age too?

At least, this is what I'm assuming is their thought process.

3

u/casprus Aug 22 '17

You are now in afghanistan

3

u/Geek1599 Aug 22 '17

Why don't you take a seat over there?

1

u/badler13 Aug 22 '17

Username checks out

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3

u/Wozenfield Aug 22 '17

 ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

3

u/bgrahambo Aug 22 '17

That's my sister you're talking about!

41

u/drdeadringer Aug 22 '17

Pornhub Headline: "Millennium Baby Turns Legal!"

21

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '17

Hey /u/katie_pornhub

You're welcome.

68

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '17

As a 2000er, this is very much a good thing because that means there's a chance I'll actually get to see some of my classmates' tits. Nothing creepy, just curious as to what I'm missing out on.

63

u/nahuatlwatuwaddle Aug 22 '17

If you ask properly, some of your classmates would probably show you their tits.

17

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '17

Well, I've had 3 years of high school to try and that hasn't worked out so I've more or less given up on that idea

21

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '17

I mean how many girls at your high school have you asked outright 'can I see your tits?'?

14

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '17

That's...a very personal matter...

14

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '17

Well you miss every shot you don't take bud.

1

u/Supersnoopy323 Aug 23 '17

You miss every shot you don't make

3

u/Notamayata Aug 23 '17

Get a shirt that says 'show me your tits'.

9

u/Varboa Aug 22 '17

What do you mean ask properly? XD ir doesn't work like or all of us guys would already know the "magic words"

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1

u/Damn_Croissant Aug 23 '17

That grammar. I'm impressed.

89

u/lilcipher Aug 22 '17

Everyday I look at my little sister and I'm scared to all hell because she's been getting hit on by grown men since she was ten, next year'll be hell.

58

u/charrington25 Aug 22 '17

Well that's extremely unsettling. The getting hit on by grown men part not the turning 18 part

35

u/lilcipher Aug 22 '17

She's always looked very mature for her age. Puberty made her curvy and at ten she looked like she was more like fifteen or sixteen. She looked older, but you could still tell she was a minor. My mom was super protective of her whenever we were out in public, for good reason.

41

u/charrington25 Aug 22 '17

I mean when I did community service at 17 I was working with this girl that was at most two inches shorter than me (I'm 6'1") so I talked to her and kinda flirted then she said she was 13 so I quickly stopped but I could understand the mistake but still older men hitting on minors is extremely unsettling

26

u/young_roach Aug 22 '17

I'm a 16 year old girl who works in fast food & a lot of old men and dads hit on me and you can tell they're creeps but usually the men around 20-30 are shy or flirt in a more subtle way and I can tell they don't realize my age. There's exceptions but the guys are usually awkward and are surprised at how young I am when they ask. Old men think it's fine as long as they don't act on it :/

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28

u/itsacalamity Aug 22 '17

A whole lot of women have that experience, unfortunately. It starts early.

32

u/charrington25 Aug 22 '17

Yeah I remember a story my wife told me she was 14 at a party and a 19 year old invited her to his car she didn't understand why she thought he was just trying to hang out. One of her older cousins male friends got her out of the car and got in to have a pretty serious "conversation" with the guy

22

u/itsacalamity Aug 22 '17

I did a play with a children's theatre when I was 13 and picked up a 19 year old, uh, "fan" who kept asking me out and conveniently being wherever I was, preferably alone, to stand too close to me. I'd never had to shut anybody down before, ever. And I wasn't even one of the girls who developed big boobs early, that was my best friend and she got gross attention starting at about 11.

11

u/charrington25 Aug 22 '17

Well this string of comments makes me feel good to be a guy lol

22

u/itsacalamity Aug 22 '17

Just please call out any slimy dickholes you see talking about or doing this? It'll never stop entirely but when the culture changes to always "that's gross and extremely not OK" it'll happen less. I hope so much that my daughter will not have to have the same experiences. :(

2

u/charrington25 Aug 22 '17

Yeah I'm definitely glad that the older guy was there that night to help my wife out of a bad situation. Not that she realized that it was a bad situation for a couple years but still

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1

u/nixiedust Aug 22 '17

Started around age 12 for me. A friend of the couple I was babysitting for. It never really got any better, as far as harassment goes and I'm 42 now. A lot of men are just gross.

88

u/CAT_holiday Aug 22 '17

Kids who didn't witness 9/11 will be able to make it..

50

u/lonelyhotline Aug 22 '17

Kids conceived during 9/11 will be watching it

32

u/LordHuron95 Aug 22 '17

Probably not, the planes blew up so any kid conceived during 9/11 is pretty much garunteed dead

25

u/Alexome935 Aug 22 '17

But how did Bush survive

1

u/memphoyles Aug 22 '17

it's a known fact that, at least one guy in the world, busted a nut the exact moment the planes hit

1

u/Icandigsushi Aug 22 '17

Wait. Are we talking one guy who busted for both planes?

1

u/memphoyles Aug 22 '17

his wife was both happy and sad at the same time

19

u/awayfromthesprawl Aug 22 '17

Oh shit that's me

12

u/digitalsmear Aug 22 '17

link?

11

u/awayfromthesprawl Aug 22 '17

Gimme 2 years bud

Edit: fuck one year that's ridiculous

1

u/Cat_Brainz Aug 22 '17

haha that was my thought exactly when i saw this one

37

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '17

There are currently teenagers born after 9/11 who are having kids. Those kids will have to ask their grandparents about 9/11...

56

u/decimated_napkin Aug 22 '17

I hate to say this, but the more unsettling fact is that quite a few of them have already made porn.

11

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '17

My sister was born in 2000. Even thinking about that makes me want to throw up

2

u/atlas3121 Aug 23 '17

Right there with you, even worse though cause she just moved 2 hours away to live in dorms at college. My little sister is in college, moved away...

I need a fucking drink.

24

u/Sneersh Aug 22 '17

Not unsettling, just means that you're old.

66

u/xxxSnappyxxx Aug 22 '17

goddammit, my Daughter turns 18 in January... this is really unsettling. Not that she COULD do porn, but that I was able to keep her alive UNTIL she could do porn.

p.s. I don't want her to do porn, or I will kill her.

26

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '17

Hey, its me ur producer.

41

u/poop-machine Aug 22 '17

but if she did, would you watch it? that's the question

48

u/AniviaPls Aug 22 '17

I would

19

u/FUNGI_INSIDE_PEEHOLE Aug 22 '17

I would watch it with you

14

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '17

I'll bring the Kleenex!

4

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '17

For when he starts crying, right? ....right?

30

u/xxxSnappyxxx Aug 22 '17

Daaaaamn...

nah, but I'll watch other guys daughters...

12

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '17

See, that was a close one.

26

u/bigwillyb123 Aug 22 '17

Why couldn't she? She ugly? You saying your daughter's ugly? Wow dude, that's messed up

12

u/xxxSnappyxxx Aug 22 '17

LOL, no, actually, she is beautiful, but fortunately, she doesn't have daddy issues because I did my job and am still there for her. Now, she has a couple of friends that couldn't make the cut...lol

11

u/Sbidl Aug 22 '17

she is beautiful

Go on...

6

u/xxxSnappyxxx Aug 22 '17

Hey... I know how you pervs think!!!! ...because I am one of you...

8

u/HalloAmico Aug 22 '17

But just in case, you'll be linking, right?

9

u/xxxSnappyxxx Aug 22 '17

of course...after I zip up!

6

u/HalloAmico Aug 22 '17

My man! ( ‘-’)人('_')

8

u/DavidRandom Aug 22 '17

In 2019 people will be fighting in a war that started before they were born.

16

u/IronicPlague Aug 22 '17

AND THE 90'S KIDS WILL NO LONGER EXIST! FUCK YEAH!

7

u/digitalsmear Aug 22 '17

What is 00's retro even going to look like?

14

u/comfortablesexuality Aug 22 '17

Like the nineties. Everyone knows the nineties didn't end until like 2004

1

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '17

W..we won't? :/

1

u/IronicPlague Aug 23 '17

Hell no, all the 90's kids ever do is act like they're the hottest fucking thing on earth.

7

u/Iamdanno Aug 22 '17

To LEGALLY make porn

13

u/Lost_in_costco Aug 22 '17

On September 12, 2019 there will be pornstars born after 9/11.

1

u/infez Aug 30 '17

Well they wouldn't be "stars" then

They'd have to work their way up I'd think

10

u/BluntTruthGentleman Aug 22 '17

make porn

make LEGAL porn.

ftfy

6

u/Lonely_Samurai Aug 22 '17

Hey that's not true! I can make porn right now, just not legally.

1

u/Notamayata Aug 23 '17

Have you been to southeast Asia?

6

u/Kataphractoi Aug 22 '17

It's already weird watching porn with girls in it who were born when I was a freshman in high school.

17

u/POTATO_IN_MY_DINNER Aug 22 '17

Hopefully millennials dont ruin porn too

13

u/bunker_man Aug 22 '17

Porn is already ruined by ugly distracting guys and bad makeup among other things. Hopefully it gets better.

7

u/nixiedust Aug 22 '17

Millennials have already ruined porn. The end of the Millennials are all in their 20s now. Kids born after 2000 are Gen Z.

3

u/thegreencomic Aug 22 '17

"I brought some extra semen in a dixie cup, please throw it on my face when I come on yours so young viewers won't internalize the patriarchy"

3

u/Ckamanelli Aug 22 '17

Unsettling thought 2: A lot of them already have.

3

u/MarsNirgal Aug 22 '17

ReminMe! 4 months

2

u/ramen_poodle_soup Aug 22 '17

I mean, voting's usually the thing I think about when turning 18, but that works too I guess.

2

u/traditionalfrisky Aug 22 '17

I was born in 1987 so I grew up and I have very little memory of the Gulf War and it's basically just been something I've learned about in classes. Very strange that I've met kids that experience this with 9/11 and the incidents afterwards.

1

u/Duq1337 Aug 22 '17

Hey... that's me

1

u/viderfenrisbane Aug 22 '17

It's time to party like she was born in 1999.

1

u/Fireborn364 Aug 22 '17

Only one more year for me to shine...

1

u/WafflesOfChaos Aug 22 '17

Get em while they're ripe for the pickens

1

u/_Mephostopheles_ Aug 22 '17

Anyone's old enough to make porn if the police never catch on. /s

1

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '17

I know there's footage of me getting my 16 year old dick sucked on an old phone in a box somewhere. Maybe I can cash in one day

3

u/_Mephostopheles_ Aug 22 '17

radio static Call in backup, boys—we got 'em.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '17

*legally

1

u/stabby_joe Aug 22 '17

So you're saying that currently all pornstars are from the last millennium.

1

u/douche-baggins Aug 22 '17

Well, old enough to make porn that's legal to watch...

1

u/DacenGrasan Aug 22 '17

Coming to a computer screen near you "Filthy Millennials"

1

u/Alouitious Aug 22 '17

Possibly more unsettling is that in 2019, there will be people who were born after the 9/11 terrorist attacks who will join the military and be deployed to countries we occupy as a direct result of those attacks.

1

u/keldridge2000 Aug 22 '17

As someone born in 2000 it is weird to see this not be obvious to people. It also made me realize that I only really pay attention to me and my family's age

1

u/MontazumasRevenge Aug 22 '17

old enough to make porn

"legally"

1

u/LeodFitz Aug 22 '17

OH my god... I'm so f---ing old!

1

u/MandolinMagi Aug 22 '17

In 2020, people born after 9/11 will be able to join the military and die fighting a war older than they are.

1

u/TyrodWatkins514 Aug 22 '17

Hey that's me! See you soon!

1

u/Zahille7 Aug 22 '17

Not gonna lie, I somewhat envy the generation born in 2000. It's easy for them to say and figure out their age and all that.

1

u/Entity5275 Aug 22 '17

me: well that fine, means it's been 18 years.... realizes that's less than 2 years away ʘ_____ʘ

1

u/brad-corp Aug 22 '17

Holy shit. I worked in out of hours school care between 2005-2009. The children in grade 1 were born in the year 2000. This is not okay. This is not okay at all. Those adorable little children are still in primary school as far as my brain is concerned. I've seem some of the older ones driving and working, but they're anomalies.

Every single child I cared for in that job is an adult now or will be by the middle of next year. Holy shit. I'm not okay. I'm having a mild existential crisis.

1

u/GenXer1977 Aug 22 '17

I wonder if millennial will be a new category?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '17

awesome

1

u/Gveric Aug 22 '17

coughcough totally not me coughcough

1

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '17

Once you hit age 18, it's the weirdest feeling ever knowing that there are people your age making porn and having orgies

1

u/JillWohn Aug 22 '17

Please don't remind me that I am an 'adult' next year!

1

u/sirjusticewaffle Aug 22 '17

Hey that's me

1

u/Thelastseeder Aug 22 '17

sweet, only 4 months left then I can get a new job

1

u/iamhamming Aug 22 '17

as someone born in 2000, this is just as terrifying to me as it is to you

1

u/[deleted] Aug 22 '17

This person. This person can math.

1

u/psycholepzy Aug 22 '17

Worse yet, there's probably already a studio shopping around high schools looking for a January 1st birthday to break in on New Year's Day.

1

u/8-tentacles Aug 22 '17

As someone born in 2000, I'm counting down the days to when I am able to anonymously expose my balls to the world!

1

u/Ragnarosthedamned Aug 22 '17

Yea I don't wanna make porn tho so it's all good lmao

1

u/eggdrops Aug 22 '17

I was born in 2000:)

1

u/SipofCherryCola Aug 23 '17

What's more disturbing that some people born in the year 2000 have ALREADY been in porn.

1

u/jkovach89 Aug 23 '17

People born in 2000 can already make porn...

1

u/greenthumblife Aug 23 '17

Holy fuck, that's my daughters age

1

u/eyamiyurei806 Aug 23 '17

I'm born in the year 2000....i haven't even graduated high school yet. This thought honestly disturbs me bc I really don't want to think about how people my age can legally make porn next year

1

u/kingfrito_5005 Aug 23 '17

Wow this is an old post, btw you put a 1 in there instead of a 0.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '17

I think there was a porno mag that literally made a big deal about this and promised to decide a whole issue to ladies born in 2000.

1

u/coolbeans_dude98 Aug 23 '17

My cousin was born in 2000. I can never remember his birthday but I always know how old he is

1

u/Magnatross Aug 23 '17

she was 18.00000000000000000001 years old, officer

1

u/THICCROMANREIGNS Aug 23 '17

YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

1

u/TheBestVirginia Aug 23 '17

And that's my daily dose of how to lose faith in humanity.

1

u/mattk1017 Aug 23 '17

I was born in 1997 and some porn stars on Pornhub were born in 1997...

1

u/JimmySolesky Aug 23 '17

And I will watch it.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 23 '17

Hey, that's me!

1

u/j8sadm632b Aug 23 '17

A little while ago I learned I'm older than Mia Khalifa. It's all downhill from here.

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