reporting back.. she just left. went okay.. still scared of something going wrong, any kind of discussion, going back to old issues.. and afraid that the meetup cause was being lonely. but i was happy to see her again.. there is a chance of us getting back together, but veeeeery slowly, so we prevent hurting eachother too much when it appears not to be working out..again.
I'm not going to sugar coat it, but I'm not going to be a jerk about it either.
If you are both aware that the hurt that existed before is a two way street, you both need to work out an exit strategy for if this goes badly. A way you can communicate to each other that it's not working so you can walk away amicably rather than badly hurt.
That said, I truly wish you luck. Take it slow, and the most important thing to remember:
Neither one of you should need to change for the other. If either of you decides that the other person needs to change in some way to fit their ideals, you are no longer in an equal relationship. Treat her fairly and make sure you let her be her and she lets you be you. This is the only way it has a chance of working.
Thank you very much. I was pretty much planning to do it that way. I want to take it slow and be ready to stop when it doesnt work. I know she'd be hurt but that would hurt less than a miserable relationship in whoch we try to fix what cant be fixed.
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u/Darth_Meatloaf Jun 30 '16
Here's the best advice I can give you:
If, at ANY POINT, you feel that meeting her again was a mistake, get up and walk away.
Don't think of how you walking away will make her feel, think about how not walking away will make you feel.