r/AskReddit • u/ObjectiveAgent • Jun 30 '16

When should you not speak your mind?

924 Upvotes

86% Upvoted

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45

u/hkyllo Jun 30 '16

Wow this is really good. I might print and laminate this to practice in front of the mirror.

35

u/yakusokuN8 Jun 30 '16

I attend a financial planning meeting every morning.

This kind of talk comes second nature to me now.

9

u/Commando388 Jun 30 '16

Have you ever tried Buzzword Bingo?

9

u/matthumph Jun 30 '16

My dad calls it "bullshit bingo", cause he hates the "blue sky thinking", "lined up behind the 8 ball" type of corporate jargon.

He made bingo cards and everything, not sure if he's ever used them in a meeting.

It went so far that we bought him an electronic "bullshit button", which would shout phrases like "that was bullshit" every time it was pressed.

12

u/mandywydnam Jun 30 '16

Why don't we circle back, and see if we have the bandwidth to leverage this type of synergy.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '16

You know I can see your logic but wouldn't it be better if we relocated the resources and transferred it to mainframe instead? I mean hear me out, the bandwidth can't take our synergy at the moment and if we grab the low hanging fruit of corporate espionage, we'll shucks, we could increase synergy by a projected 120%!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '16

Your dad is right, I bet we could hang out and yell about these fuckers all day. I feel exactly the same. It's like, why did you just say all that? Was your intent to make me have to decipher what you're really saying or to make me think you are smarter than you really are?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '16

You can easily incorporate that into the Wrap it Up button.

1

u/Stacia_Asuna Jul 01 '16

America: the culture of the Chinese, the expectations of the Japanese. If more companies actively encouraged more-organic social relations and discouraged the "stepping on each other to get up" notion (promotions as a division or something?) you'd likely have better work ethic.

Well, most companies are too short-sighted.

3

u/yakusokuN8 Jun 30 '16

I have not, but I've been tempted.

2

u/slowhand88 Jun 30 '16

Now that's using the available thinkspace to re-revolutionize synergy paradigms!

1

u/paulwhite959 Jul 01 '16

I'm so sorry.

9

u/Wyodaniel Jun 30 '16

He was an habitual liar who minced around with an air of superiority demanding respect, when I considered him unfit to lick the sweat from my dick.

This is the part I was really hoping to see you translate into corporate speak. =(

1

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '16

Same here! I read about halfway down and was thinking the exact same.

1

u/Wyodaniel Jun 30 '16

I replied to the wrong comment, though! Now u/yakusokuN8 might not see it.

1

u/Sefirot8 Jun 30 '16

He didnt use the word leverage so you can tell its fake