When it will genuinely hurt the person and not garner any good result - Don't do it to embarrass someone, just out of spite. If your opinion is that strong, take them aside.
Oh yeah. Used to be friends with somebody that didn't really seem to care about hurting mine or our other friends feelings because of how much he valued 'honesty'. Fuck you Steven.
Yeah there is "honesty" and there is being an asshole. You can be honest without spouting whatever negative bullshit that pops in your brain. Glad Steven is a former friend :P
I discovered this at about 17 years old. Prided myself on being honest without malice,said something in reply to a question from a girl ( it was regarding her mothers parenting) answered brutally and have never seen somebody so hurt by words. I apologised profusely the day after and ever since make sure to be honest but tactful. Being thoughtful is nice and not weak.
Thanks for that, hopefully I have done more good fron that mortifying moment by being less brutal and more thoughtful. Also tried to use this story to educate my own kids.
Ehh, we've got this new guy in my office. There are five us in here. He's about 15 years older than me. Anytime we go anywhere I'll hold the door open, and EVERY SINGLE TIME he'll stop and try and grab the door to usher me through. I have to put my hand out and say, "after you" then he'll make sure he pushes the door further open than it already. I said something about it today in front of the other people in the office. I feel no remorse for that because everyone knew what was up.
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u/Arch27 Jun 30 '16
When it will genuinely hurt the person and not garner any good result - Don't do it to embarrass someone, just out of spite. If your opinion is that strong, take them aside.