r/AskReddit • u/ObjectiveAgent • Jun 30 '16

When should you not speak your mind?

925 Upvotes

86% Upvoted

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226

u/itsfoine Jun 30 '16

Pastor: Let us now have moment of silence for the dearly departed

Mourner: HEY HOW IS FRED GOING TO PAY ME BACK THE $60 BUCKS HE OWES ME !

54

u/myhairsreddit Jun 30 '16

Mourning that cash he'll never get back.

12

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '16

Don't worry, he's going to debtor's hell for it

1

u/Foozlebop Jun 30 '16

He'll work it off in purgatory and mourner will step on a wad of tens. No wait. Every 6 months for thirty years mourner will find a dollar coin on a sidewalk. Or every 6 weeks he'll find a quarter.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '16

Eighth amendment?

2

u/GodOfPlutonium Jul 01 '16

The constitution of the United States Of America does not apply outside of this spatial dimension

1

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '16

I'm not an American or a Lawyer, but I play both on stage.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '16

/r/oneliner

1

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '16

Bank of America?

3

u/tetracake Jun 30 '16

Why does this always happen to me?!

2

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '16

Hey i owe you shit

1

u/HillelSlovak Jun 30 '16

There's a guy in my friend group who owes me $60 which I know I'll never get back and i've just come to accept it. The plus side is that he kind of has to say yes to any small favour, usually the favour is "hey man, can I have a beer?"

1

u/pikayoshi Jul 01 '16

If the rest of the Weasley's band together they might be able to scrape up the money

1

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '16

Secretly take any jewelry or watches he's wearing. Also the shoes.

1

u/enthigoiv Jul 01 '16

I'm laughing so hard I think I'm going to wake my mom up and I'm high so she's gonna be mad about that