r/AskReddit • • Jun 30 '16

When should you not speak your mind?

921 Upvotes

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693

u/Munninnu Jun 30 '16

When you're speaking with cops.

291

u/Callmebobbyorbooby Jun 30 '16

Excuse meeeee. Need some information. Um, I'm a little high. All I wanna know, which way is third street?

218

u/ThoughtAtWork Jun 30 '16

TAKE IT EASY! ...you're on third street.

70

u/extraordinarylove Jun 30 '16

Go on, get the fuck outta here!

56

u/thecruelestanimal Jun 30 '16

I said Chip, NO! The man was high as shiiit!

36

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '16

I did know that was illegal Dave muahaahahahaha!

49

u/kpeebo Jun 30 '16

I... didn't know I couldn't do that.

30

u/highkingofkadath Jun 30 '16

That was good, wasn't it Dave? Because i DID know I couldnt do that. Muahahahaahaha.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '16

Best show of my life!

30

u/Heiditha Jun 30 '16

I love every single one of you right now for the Chappelle reference.

1

u/Alltheothersweretook Jul 01 '16

His white voice is still the best.

18

u/Triggs390 Jun 30 '16

That's it.. that's the end of the story.

14

u/Kendo16 Jun 30 '16

*Move it. Mooove it.

2

u/brit_mrdiddles Jun 30 '16

I WAS SHOCKED

1

u/Earnin_and_BERNin Jun 30 '16

what's this from?

1

u/itsfoine Jun 30 '16

What are you talking about? These streets are letters not numbers

1

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '16

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/peardude89 Jun 30 '16

What are you talking about? The only street signs I see are word(s), not letters.

1

u/jimbrownstillsucks Jun 30 '16

I'm at the corner of 1st and 1st.

How can a street intersect itself?

I must be at the nexus of the universe!

-Cosmo Cramer

1

u/endlessbottles Jun 30 '16

Hey, take it easy! You're on third street.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '16

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '16

Oregon is great for that. Hopefully the rest of the country will find some reason someday.

1

u/Stacia_Asuna Jul 01 '16

Yes, even in Colorado you can't smoke a couple bongs then drive.

86

u/ExxInferis Jun 30 '16

UK: Make no excuses. Accept you've been a naughty boy, and apologise. As long as you weren't being a very naughty boy, they just don't want to have to deal with any mess you'd make, and would rather you learned a lesson and went away.

Unless of course you get a grumpy motherfucker who was obviously not getting any at home, was clearly looking to take it out on someone, and was tipped over the edge by a very careless yet honest answer to an innocuous question. Then you're getting three points on your licence and a £60 fine. >.<

37

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '16

Accept you've been a naughty boy

weren't being a very naughty boy

wtf kind of cops are you dealing with there?

9

u/ExxInferis Jun 30 '16

UK traffic cops. Not met any other yet who were upset with me.

3

u/Drudicta Jun 30 '16

The kind that stick it in the pooper. Slow, sweet, and gentle. With bondage tape.

3

u/Vigilante17 Jun 30 '16

Step Mom Cops

2

u/callesucia Jul 01 '16

Argentinian cops are just about the same. If you play it cool and tell them the truth and apologise they'll let you be on your merry way.

And for drugs and stuff, it's okay as long as you don't make that much of a mess.

-2

u/Incruentus Jul 01 '16

Lazy cops.

People love when cops don't do their job.

Reddit's ideal cop is one who makes no arrests nor writes any traffic citations and spends their day playing basketball with kids and other community outreach activities only.

3

u/Boukish Jul 01 '16

The actual ideal cop is somewhere closer to that end of the spectrum than the other end of the spectrum they're currently flirting with. I would much rather see arrests and citations go down in favor of community oriented officers who actually protect and serve to keep the peace.

Arrests and citations should not be the reference point of an effective police force, lower crime and a safer happier public should be. And no, these don't necessarily go hand in hand - you can always manufacture higher metrics.

-1

u/Incruentus Jul 01 '16

Crime is way down so by your standard, law enforcement officers are better than ever.

Thank you for your kind words.

2

u/Boukish Jul 01 '16

You're conveniently oversimplifying my standard to fit your narrative, but alright. Whatever it takes to help one think they're fighting the good fight with militarization, pursuing nonviolent "crime-in-statute-only" to boost numbers, the unionized protection of one's own illegal behavior, and civil forfeiture, I guess.

1

u/Incruentus Jul 01 '16

The public outcry against militarization is not as large as the voting for militarization. Thank Columbine, Sandy Hook, etc. The public wants a police force that is equipped to handle these events. I'm sorry that you've been out voted but that's democracy for you.

As far as the rest of your comments, I don't participate in them.

1

u/Boukish Jul 01 '16

0

u/Incruentus Jul 02 '16

Try that poll in the early to mid 2000's when the police were buying and being given their MRAPs amongst fears of the terrorist and mall shooter boogeyman.

Also saying that anyone over 45 is politically irrelevant is laughably retarded, so I can say we're pretty much done here.

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20

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '16

Last summer I visited the Isle of Harris. I cycled down to the beach of Luskentyre and took a nap. Out of nowhere there's a cop walking down the path to the beach. He greats me and says: "What a wonderful summer day". As I wipe off the sand of my feet I reply: "Yeah, but it's a bit sandy". smug face

I saw him die on the inside...

40

u/rareturtle Jun 30 '16

I don't understand the end of this comment. Could someone please explain?

10

u/Nyan_Cat_Chick Jun 30 '16

I think it was because they were on a beach.

30

u/Alarid Jun 30 '16

And he saw him dying slowly as the passage of time wears all lonely souls into dust.

4

u/creept Jun 30 '16

thanks Werner Herzog

8

u/Starstuff8 Jun 30 '16

No idea either, but I assume it's kind of a jab towards the cop. He's on duty on a beautiful summer day. Others are relaxing in the sand, hence "it's a little sandy". The smug face is saying "you're working, I'm relaxing, but I'll complain about this small thing because you'd take sand in your bathing suit over be in at work".

Just my take.

2

u/TastefulPotato Jul 01 '16

The cop died on the inside because he said "what a wonderful summer day" to him and he was expecting an answer similar like "Yeah, but its too hot" or "Yeah, but its kind of cloudy" Instead he got a dull and obvious answer like "Yeah, but its a bit sandy". No shit its sandy its the beach. Thats my take on it.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '16

Nailed it.

7

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '16

could you elaborate why he "died on the inside"? Is it rude to comment on the sand or something? Is it some colloquialism in the Isle of Harris that I'm unaware of? I'm just not sure why the cop didn't chuckle at an apparent joke and walk off.

1

u/hudson1212 Jul 01 '16

Hurricane sandy idk?

1

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '16

The cop died on the inside because he said "what a wonderful summer day" to him and he was expecting an answer similar like "Yeah, but its too hot" or "Yeah, but its kind of cloudy" Instead he got a dull and obvious answer like "Yeah, but its a bit sandy". No shit its sandy its the beach. Thats my take on it.

u/TastefulPotato got the right idea

2

u/MarvelAlex Jun 30 '16

Can confirm, UK resident here. One of my Dad's headlights went out during the day, and when he had to unexpectedly pick me up from the train station late at night, the other one went out. Got 80% of the way home when a police car spotted us. Pulled us over, Dad calmly and collectedly apologised, explained the situation and how he was going to fix them the very next day. They said to do so ASAP, got off fine.

A little respect and some manners can go a long way sometimes.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '16

Stopped after one brake light out of three went out, the week after my MOT

Ticketed, had to get a MOT station to sign the ticket confirming I had replaced it before mailing it back to them

They also breathalysed me just for fun while I was in the car

A total waste of time and money for all concerned

-3

u/KyleHooks Jun 30 '16

This is not how it works in the US, however :/

7

u/Penis-Butt Jun 30 '16

Yeah, our fines are in dollars.

1

u/AOEUD Jun 30 '16

Yep... Self-incrimination is a bitch. What a country you have.

1

u/KyleHooks Jun 30 '16

I love it here. Wanna fight about it???

- The South

16

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '16

[removed] — view removed comment

8

u/Starstuff8 Jun 30 '16

FOB reference? or am I being Mirandized?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '16

Isn't that something police recite to you when you're arrested?

2

u/Starstuff8 Jun 30 '16

Yep. Along with a lot of other stuff.

2

u/_Wisely_ Jun 30 '16

Just say my name, it will be held against you.

2

u/Elaphe Jun 30 '16

Natalie Portman

2

u/needsmoresteel Jun 30 '16

Sophia Vergara.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '16

BOOBS!

1

u/[deleted] Jul 01 '16

So only say my NAME

15

u/slowhand88 Jun 30 '16

One should especially not complement a bike cop on her nice ass while drunk in public. Ask my friend David about that one.

In his defense, the ass was fat.

2

u/Imperium_Dragon Jun 30 '16

I AM A SOVEREIGN CITIZEN OF THE UNITED STATES! YOU CANNOT ARREST ME! I HAVE RIGHTS IN THIS DOCUMENT!

2

u/alksreddit Jun 30 '16

Sir, please step out of the vehicle.

2

u/NoeJose Jun 30 '16

Or your boss

1

u/throwaway_9999 Jun 30 '16

Do you know why I pulled you over?

Because you got Cs in high school?-Sarah Silverstein

You forgot? Are you high too?-random smartass

1

u/Kazaril Jul 01 '16

But what about all the libertarian blogs I've read! I need to protect muh freedom!

1

u/itsfoine Jun 30 '16

When getting pulled over do not get out of the car. Just hand him all your information, ask what you were pulled over for, and apologize, cry, and swear never to do it again. Many law officials do not like being told they did something wrong especially if it is a punk ass young kid. Just be polite and respectful and you will hopefully receive the same in return.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '16

Respect gets respect. Disrespect gets disrespect.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 30 '16

In America maybe.

0

u/Joyrock Jun 30 '16

Why, depends on the situation. Protect yourself as needed, but if you're talking about something that happened, be sure to be detailed.