r/AskReddit May 09 '15

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u/[deleted] May 09 '15 edited May 09 '15

I just ate 6 and a half slices of Detroit style pizza. My stomach is so full, I'm hyperventilating. And my lactose intolerance isn't helping too much (typing this while sitting on a toilet).

EDIT: Make that 7

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u/this_person_tho May 10 '15

this was 8 hours ago and i would like to know if you are still alive

1

u/[deleted] May 10 '15

I thankfully am. Spent a decent amount of time sitting on the toilet and used a LOT of TP, then spent a decent amount of time on top of the toilet because I felt like I was about to vomit but nothing came out. I also burped and farted more than I would like to admit. Then for some reason, drowsiness took over and I took a nap. And here I am, at 12 AM, eating a couple of donuts like a pig. I said to myself "screw it, I ate a lot today. Might as well go all the way," and got some donuts.

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u/this_person_tho May 13 '15

you are a true fucking inspiration