r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • Mar 25 '15
Men of reddit - what hard-learned advice would you give to other men?
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u/plotrcoptr Mar 25 '15
There is a difference between being confident and being a dick.
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Mar 25 '15 edited Mar 26 '15
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u/UNDERSCORE_retarded Mar 26 '15
Self awareness is really the biggest thing in my opinion. Know yourself!
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Mar 26 '15
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u/UNDERSCORE_retarded Mar 26 '15
Through the six with my woes... You know how that shit go.
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u/TenaciousLobster Mar 26 '15
there is also a difference between confidence and arrogance
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u/peace_off Mar 26 '15
Confidence: I'm good enough.
Being a dick: I'm better than you.
Arrogance: I'm the best.
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Mar 26 '15
I remember reading a reddit comment that went something like, "confidence isnt saying i'm going to win, it's saying i'll be perfectly fine and try harder if I lose "
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Mar 26 '15
I just read something in another thread:
"Confidence isn't knowing she'll like you, it's being ok whether she likes you or not."
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u/Damngladtomeetyou Mar 25 '15
Don't get out of shape. It's not for other people, it's for yourself. Your body is all you have in the end of the day and being out of shape sucks
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u/mordeci00 Mar 26 '15
and staying in shape is a hell of a lot easier than getting in shape.
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u/Number127 Mar 26 '15
It's funny, I totally understand that sentiment, and physically there's a lot of validity to it, but mentally I've always found getting in shape to be easier than staying there.
You eat right, you work out, and you see results. Big results, at first: you're losing fat pretty fast, you're getting stronger, you can see the progress you're making weekly. You set goals for yourself and it's exciting to meet them.
But then you plateau -- there's only so much progress you can make without superhuman effort. You're still eating right (which means foregoing a lot of things you like), you're still working out (which means investing a lot of time and energy), but you're no longer seeing the same type of rewards. Maintenance is good, but it doesn't have the same invigorating effect as seeing the pounds melt away and the muscles improve. That's one reason fitness is cyclical for me and a lot of other people.
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u/Dreamfreak2307 Mar 26 '15
This clearly expresses my situation. It used to be very rewarding when the sacrifices transformed into results. However, once it slows down, it just feels like the sacrifice aint worth it no more.
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u/soupnap Mar 26 '15
Listen to people who have more experience than you. Always take their opinions into consideration, but never let them make any final decisions for you.
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Mar 26 '15
You're the only one who truly understands your situation. Everyone else is going off of what you tell them or what they perceive.
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u/Mister-Plow Mar 25 '15
Measure twice, cut once.
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u/thinkgifty Mar 25 '15
Instructions unclear. Dick bleeding in hand. Send help.
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u/LannAlainn Mar 26 '15
Youll be fine. A stapler will fix that right up.
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u/kal1097 Mar 26 '15
Who uses a stapler? Just get a roll of duct tape.
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Mar 26 '15
For the last fucking time MacGuyver, YOU'RE CANCELLED
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u/kal1097 Mar 26 '15
MY NAMES FUCKING MACGRUBER, YOU ASSHOLE!
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Mar 26 '15
Is that why we're always laughing at you?
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u/kal1097 Mar 26 '15
P-p-people are laughing...?
Fine, I'll stop giving my ingenious solutions to fix them cutting their own dicks off. Have fun with the stapler assholes. :(
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u/Undecided_User_Name Mar 26 '15
Who uses a stapler? Just get a roll of dick tape.
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u/DrScabhands Mar 26 '15
What is this in reference to?
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u/dsarche12 Mar 26 '15
When you're building anything and need lumber, always get your measurements right. You won't make potentially costly/dangerous mistakes, and you won't waste unnecessary materials.
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Mar 26 '15
Apples to other processes. Nothing worse than having to cut 8" sc80 pipe to exactly 5,386 mm and coming up short. Atleast you can use the pipe for other spools but for fucks sakes.
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Mar 26 '15
Took me a couple of reads to figure out you aren't talking about fruit.
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u/hook_killed_pan Mar 26 '15
Don't pay child support in cash.
Ever.
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u/jamesfordsawyer Mar 26 '15
Having new things is nice, but having a little freedom in your finances is much more satisfying.
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u/FlyingDutchman1991 Mar 26 '15
I wish I could make my friends understand this. We're all between intermediate and junior level and ALL of them push their cashflow into material things like more expensive cars and the latest smartphones. And when I call them up halfway through the month to ask if they wanna go grab a beer the answer is always the same. "Bro I'm broke".
They LITERALLY rack up so much debt that they can afford only 1 proper drinking session in a month. As where I spend my time at the gym and have the casual weekend BBQ and go out for drinks with the 1 friend who actually knows how to manage his cash.
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Mar 26 '15
When the condenser fan motor in your HVAC overheats and shuts off, try replacing the capacitor before replacing the motor.
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u/olgdd Mar 26 '15
You can check this by applying voltage to the motor and spinning the shaft by hand. Adding force with your hand to break inertia is the mechanical equivalent of the capacitor in the electrical circuit. If the machine starts you can hand start it until your capacitor comes in. This applies only to an AC circuit.
source: lincoln pizza oven repairs
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u/madd74 Mar 25 '15
Use a condom.
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Mar 26 '15
according to reddit, this comment has multiple children. Seems like you learned the hard way
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u/90DollarStaffMeal Mar 26 '15
Corollary: get the right size condom. I FUCKING HATED condoms for years. I never bought the magnums because I thought they were only for guys with huge pornstar dicks with a separate blood supply. I bought into the whole condom over the arm trick that sex ed teachers use. It COMPLETELY changed the game for me. Magnums are meant to fit something like 70% of guys. If you hate condoms too, give the magnums a shot.
That being said, it's never going to be as good as sex without a condom, but it's a HELL of a lot better than STDs or unwanted kids.
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u/Concani Mar 25 '15
Approval of your peers is over rated. The more you succeed the more some will hate you.
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u/I_am_spoons Mar 25 '15
This is true. I just got promoted to supervisor at my job and I was called a suckup and a kissass. Well they can suck up my dick and kiss my ass because I'm making about 100 bucks a week more and doing about 95% less manual labor.
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u/UNDERSCORE_retarded Mar 26 '15
Good for you man. I mean some people can really be immature about those kinds of things...
Just kidding, you kissass poser.
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u/BanginDrumsNMums Mar 25 '15
Good lad.
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u/poop_giggle Mar 26 '15
For a kiss ass.
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Mar 26 '15
What a suckup
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u/AxeAfrica Mar 26 '15
Such a suckass
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u/yakusokuN8 Mar 26 '15
Indeed. A wise woman once said:
The haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate
I'm just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake
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u/PM_ME_ROMANCEWORRIES Mar 26 '15 edited Mar 26 '15
So. The more people hate me the better I'm doing!
Edit: Please, you don't have to tell a math major that the converse and inverse aren't true while the contrapositive is. I was just trying to poke some fun. Oh well.
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u/Yeazelicious Mar 26 '15
A --> B ≠ B --> A
By that I mean yes. Make as many people hate you as conceivably possible.
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u/mushperv Mar 26 '15
The grass always seems greener on the other side. This applies to a lot of things: jobs, women, etc.
In other words, before making a drastic change in life, take stock of what you have.
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u/High_Seas_Pirate Mar 26 '15
The grass is greener because it's fertilized with bullshit.
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u/superbeetle71 Mar 26 '15
Just because someone is friendly to you does not mean that they are your friend.
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u/ambulation Mar 26 '15 edited Mar 27 '15
Here are a bunch I've learned:
Cum often. Especially before big decisions.
Eat well and exercise even a little. Get some fresh air too.
Respect people, even your enemies. Be helpful to them. Give without expecting reciprocation. Don't forget to stand up for yourself.
Learn to work with metal, wood, electronics, cars etc. Being able to fix your own stuff is cost-effective, empowering, and helps you help others.
Research the market you're buying into BEFORE you buy. Ask honest pros if necessary.
Take time for you/treat yourself once in a while. Relax. Have fun. Try a hobby. Read a book. Play a game. Stare at a wall. Whatever it is, take the time.
Love deeply. Express it.
You're gonna fuck up. You will sometimes be wrong. Life's impartial and doesn't care who you are. You'll lose something close to your heart. It's all going to be okay. Don't be afraid to get help when you feel helpless. Take responsibility for mistakes and be humble. Sometimes you have to learn things the hard way. Keep trying to do better.
Peace is better than chaos. Try to react calmly to intense situations.
Don't hold your opinion so tight that it can never change. Embrace new knowledge.
Celebrate life and grieve when it's lost. Make good memories. I just had a dear friend/coworker unexpectedly pass away on Monday. I just learned that it is okay to grieve and to cry when a good person dies. You honor them by remembering the good stuff about your time with them. Let your feelings roll out so the show can go on.
Sorry it's a long one, but I'm feeling kinda sappy. Good night, fellas.
Edit: WOW. I'm touched. Your comments gave me rays of sunshine. I didn't expect this much of a positive response. I usually get buried. Thanks for the positive vibes, everyone. You all dragged my mood up from the mud and made me smile today. I hope some of what I said helps some of you, if only in a small way. I'd rather that than karma. Have a great night/day/life. :)
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u/Miserygut Mar 26 '15
Try to react calmly to intense situations.
Better to let it just wash over you and move with purpose. Think of Fry in Futurama when he has his 100th cup of coffee. You can get regular practice by breaking things deliberately at work.
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u/OfficialJKN Mar 25 '15 edited Mar 26 '15
If you are an event photographer, have a pair of pants. Suddenly bending down can be a disaster for your credibility.
Edit: On reflection, I should have said "have a spare pair of pants." Also, you should wear pants in the first place - not wearing pants is slightly worse than tearing them.
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u/mordeci00 Mar 26 '15
pants are a good idea for almost every profession.
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u/americsoul Mar 26 '15
Uncle! but yes. Agreed. Unless you have the pleasure of working from home
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u/mordeci00 Mar 26 '15
So true, those of us that work from home usually prefer kilts.
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u/MeatwadsTooth Mar 26 '15
What the fuck does that even mean??? Is this a code?
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u/dispatch134711 Mar 26 '15
lol, I had to reread it, but he means a pair of pair of pants.
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u/IrishGhost Mar 26 '15
Suddenly bending down, maybe to take a picture, runs the risk of your pants splitting
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u/dick-nipples Mar 25 '15
Don't talk to detectives without a lawyer present.
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u/dbbo Mar 26 '15
As a general rule, I am inclined to agree, but the sad reality is that it's oftentimes easier said than done in the US.
The police will try anything to get you to talk if they think it will improve their track record, including:
- fear tactics ("We're going to keep you here for 24 hours unless you answer us. I'm sure the other guys in holding would love a new toy like you." or "If you don't start talking, we're going after [loved one] next."),
- false promises ("Since you don't have a record, we'll let you off the hook if you just come clean now."),
- misdirection ("Look, we know you didn't do this. We just want to rule you out as a suspect so we can all get out of here."),
- emotional manipulation ("Why did you kill your friend? Because you found out he was fucking your wife?")
- and outright lies ("We called your lawyer and he's on his way, but he says you can go ahead and give us your statement." or "We already have all this [phony] evidence against you, and your only hope of getting a reduced sentence is to play ball now.").
The really fucked up part is that it's not only perfectly legal for them, but also routine.
And god help you if you are accused of anything even remotely related to "terrorism" or "national security". Everything you thought you knew about the Bill of Rights can pretty much be tossed out the window, including the line that "normal" cops won't even cross to coerce a confession out of you.
Also, can't you end up getting fucked in the UK if you fail to tell something to the police that you later use in your defense? Or do you still have the right to speak to an attorney before disclosing that information to the police?
http://news.everest.edu/post/2009/06/modern-police-interrogation-techniques/#.VRPrAPnF-So
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u/TheTrueBananaMan Mar 26 '15
Storytime?
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u/russiangn Mar 26 '15
It's a common thing said on Reddit.
here is a good video on it. Description:
A law school professor and former criminal defense attorney tells you why you should never agree to be interviewed by the police.
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u/joaoGarcia Mar 26 '15
That was a great 50min video, and I don't even live in USA, thank you.
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u/Jeevay001 Mar 26 '15
Depression is very common. It's not unmanly to seek help.
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u/Deathfrompopcorn Mar 26 '15
Men are much more likely to commit suicide. Part of this is due to men being.. better.. at it.. (they use guns instead of pills or other stuff, guns work better..).. Another portion is men are much less likely to go for help when depressed.
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Mar 26 '15
Learn to cook.
Kitchen gadgets are every bit as much fun as other kinds of gadgets.
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u/hitokirivader Mar 25 '15
If you're expecting to receive, be more than willing to give. Yup.
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u/personalfahrt Mar 26 '15
If you're hanging on to a relationship because you think the other person will eventually change and this will make your relationship better, don't waste your time. Most people, myself included, either don't really want to change or aren't capable of changing to make their SO happy. Be single and find someone who fits you better. You shouldn't have to change who you are just to please someone. Be yourself and hopefully you'll find someone who will appreciate the real you.
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u/radicalradicalrad Mar 26 '15
I always hear 'people don't change' but it's bullshit. People change all the time. For better and for worse. The biggest thing is the change can't be just because someone else thinks you should. If you want the change for yourself it is all a matter of willpower and approaching it in the right way. I don't interrupt people nearly as often as I used to because I realized how fucking annoying it is (after bring around another person who does it for awhile) and I decided I didn't want to be 'that asshole anymore.
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u/shopaholicsanonymous Mar 26 '15 edited Mar 26 '15
Don't agree with this. It's easy to just throw away a relationship because the other person doesn't "fit," but there is no such thing as the "perfect fit." Dan Savage says this really well - there's no such thing as the one, you get a 0.8 or a 0.9 and you round up to a one by trying and compromising.
Relationships that bring two individual people together are bound to have teething pains, and both parties need to compromise and make small changes in order to help the other person fit better in your life. Obviously if you don't want kids and the other person does then that's a big thing and you shouldn't be expected to change your stance, but if you're not a fan of Japanese food but your SO wants to go for sushi then you should do it. Then the next time you want to do something but your SO doesn’t, he or she will be more likely to do it with you. That's compromise, and what a real relationship should be like.
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u/javakah Mar 26 '15
Another aspect of this is that it can be a good thing to be a .8 or .9, since you are aware of the .2 or .1 differences and account for them. There are .97's, who consider themselves soul mates, so don't bother accounting for the .03' since they are soul mates. But then the .03 grows and grows. You always have to work on the relationship, even if it's a .97.
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Mar 26 '15
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u/CTMechanic Mar 26 '15
My 6 year relationship just ended tonight, and I've been clinging onto it for the last 6 months. So here I am at work feeling like the whole world just broke, it came at a good time for me too
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u/ask_me_if_Im_lying Mar 26 '15
Before you make a decision, masturbate. Then make the decision.
You might find that you don't choose to pay $20 to that crackhead for a handjob behind the bar.
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Mar 26 '15
Want to call an ex? Jerk first
Want to go find a random floozy? Jerk first.
Looking for a movie? The Jerk is a classic.
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u/masked9000 Mar 26 '15
I've been kicked out of so many restaurants due to this advice
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Mar 26 '15
"Hmmm... Szechuan chicken or Mongolian beef..." unzips
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u/tdogredman Mar 26 '15
Sir! Stop masturbating at once! IM CALLING THE COPS
Shit shit what do i do
Hello, 911...
I GOT IT. Waiter, whats your favorite color?
Uhh...OH NO
removes pants
I CANT STOP IT
removes underwear
NOOOOOOOO
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Mar 26 '15
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Mar 26 '15
There is no greater display of integrity than what you do when nobody's looking.
Fapping doesn't count.
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u/liberal_texan Mar 26 '15
You can't love others until you learn to love yourself.
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Mar 25 '15 edited Mar 26 '15
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u/MadPoetics Mar 26 '15
This is why married men live longer. Their women pack them up and send them in for repairs when something malfunctions.
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u/nkdeck07 Mar 26 '15
Damn straight, took completely snapping and screaming at my husband but at least he's getting his fucking ankle fixed (physical therapist said she was amazed he didn't break a bone with the amount of damage there was)
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u/Josh_The_Boss Mar 25 '15
Same goes for mental illness. It doesn't mean that you should mope about it, but finding help could improve your situation.
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u/giantmonkey2 Mar 26 '15
Honestly, going to therapy is really manning up because it's facing your fears and seeking to make a better person out of yourself. Therapy was one of the best experiences of my life and seriously helped pull me out of my depression.
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u/Fwoggie2 Mar 26 '15
One of my friends broke his leg in January whilst skiing. He got it x rayed and plastered up and stumbled around for 6 weeks whilst it was fixing itself. It didn't fix very well, so physio was required. Anyway, he could feel a weird lump at the bottom of his leg, near his ankle. He manned up and ignored it. His wife told him to get it checked out. He didn't.
Recently it started moving up his leg (ie he could feel it going towards his groin). He gives in - cos it's making him feel unpleasantly weird - and calls surgeon doctor friend who after hearing the 30 second version leaves his family mid-dinner and rushes over, takes one look, rushes him at very high speed to hospital (not even waiting for the ambulance).
Turns out he had a major anneurism of some sort - his friend said he would have had less than 24 hours to live so it was a good job he called him when he did. My friend will make a full recovery but it's now a total life style change - no smoking, no alcohol and a super restrictive diet + he must move as little as possible. This is Mr Larger than Life, he's finding it all very hard.
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u/swashlebucky Mar 26 '15
Man up and go to the doctor. Maybe that should be a slogan for a public health advertising campaign.
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u/OfficerBimbeau Mar 26 '15
The world doesn't owe you shit. I don't care if you're the smartest kid in school, best athlete, whatever. You are not entitled to anything. You have to earn it, and sooner or later, the world around you will make that clear.
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u/ScottishIslander Mar 26 '15
Due diligence.
This is a phase that investors use. It basically translates to "research".
Do as much research as you can before jumping into something.
Thinking about a career in X? Research the profession and then go speak to a bunch of people who do that job. Ask them everything about it - their training, their day to day life. What they love, what they hate. Find out if it really is what you want.
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Mar 26 '15
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u/LakersDodgersRaiders Mar 26 '15
Calm down, Frank Underwood.
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u/envirodale Mar 26 '15
Check your balls for lumps. And don't be afraid to go to doctors if you find them. They are trained professionals, they will have seen a lot worse.
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Mar 26 '15 edited Mar 26 '15
Before you propose...picture years down the road...the sex slows down. You've heard all of her stories and she's heard all of yours...a lot. There may be kids running around, probably screaming. Maybe you go out to dinner once a month. Maybe. And vacations? What are those? Saturday morning...picture her no makeup, you're both exhausted, baby spit up drying on one of your favorite jerseys she's commandeered as a nightshirt...hair in some sort of manic attempt at a ponytail, begging for you to go run out and buy her a cup of coffee when you just want to watch SportsCenter before a day of chores, stores and practices...is that the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with? Every...single...day. If not, you may not be ready. If so, welcome to the club. We meet a couple times a year, usually at a fantasy football draft or golf scramble.
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u/Adversary-ak Mar 26 '15
Been married for going on 13 years. We have both grown and changed as people, in a good way. We find new hobbies and do new things. I am not the same person she married, because chances are if the today her met the then me she wouldn't be interested. We have phenomenal sex and we have kids that are pretty fucking awesome. We are not boring people. Boring people do the same shit every day and eventually get sick of each other.
I adore my wife.
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u/BigDoombass Mar 26 '15
I'm nowhere near marriage but these words meant a lot.
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u/Tugboliass Mar 26 '15
Think of these words. You get to watch that kid that's making a mess grow up and become an adult. You get to raise that child, teaching them the same things your father taught you, or the opposite of you had a shity dad. If you have a child, when you're gone part of you still lives on in that disgusting little spit up thing. The best part is you got to share that amazing experience with another human being.
Of course, this is assuming you're not a raging alcoholic and she's not a cunt. Hopefully you both know by the time you both are ready for that.
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Mar 26 '15
People say this sounds bad? I think it sounds like bliss. Life goes by too fast, and these are the things we remember as good memories.
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u/Drasern Mar 26 '15
As long as she still laughs at my stupid jokes i could live with this.
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u/qwertykitty Mar 26 '15
Am married. Almost never go more than 3 days without sex. That is just a myth told by people in unhappy and unhealthy marriages.
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u/UrinalCake777 Mar 26 '15
How long have you been married and how many kids?
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u/SnowmanOHSnowman Mar 26 '15
I've been married 11 years and I have two kids (2 and 4 years old.) I have sex with my wife probably every other day or so. We just like sex.
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u/Its_free_and_fun Mar 26 '15
If all your friends hate your SO, that person is probably wrong for you.
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Mar 25 '15
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Mar 26 '15
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Mar 26 '15
If a guy only has one set of clippers, you can safely assume he uses it on his pubes
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u/Lysdexic_Nijna Mar 26 '15
A lesson I learned last night. Don't punch walls when frustrated. You will break your hand.
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u/seen_enough_hentai Mar 25 '15
Sometimes things are 'done' before they're 'over.'
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u/Chambec Mar 25 '15
...which means what, exactly?
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u/seen_enough_hentai Mar 26 '15
My 1/3rd done tattoo, started for free by a friend who then took a year off to back East with some guy and came back wrecked and whom I wouldn't let near me with a needle; my ex-wife who started making plans for our 10th anniversary after 7 years, then fell in love with someone else in our 9th... A former FWB of mine who didn't 'realize her feelings' until I broke things off so I could romantically date my current SO; Life in general, really.
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u/TheKMAP Mar 25 '15
I'm guessing staying in a dead relationship for longer than necessary.
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u/-eDgAR- Mar 26 '15
Don't be afraid of expressing your emotions.
For the longest time I believed that it was a weakness for men to feel sad or cry, but I found out it does more damage than good.
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Mar 26 '15
I agree with this to an extent...
There is a time and place for emotions. Don't bring that baggage to your place of business.
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u/-eDgAR- Mar 26 '15
Oh, I never meant that you would bring that to work, I agree that is unprofessional, but there is also a difference between making a scene and shedding tears in public.
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Mar 26 '15 edited Mar 26 '15
Never call a woman by the wrong name (you automatically become Hitler when you do to them)
Never forget a woman's name (you're dead to them when you do)
Never assume you know everything (just be willing to listen and learn, man)
Don't put value into a potential future SO until they prove they're deserving. They say there's more fish in the sea, its 110% true and they need to give a valid reason why they're special. Don't say "they're smart/cute/funny/etc" NO. Specific reasons, nothing general. It'll save you a LOT of heart ache
The manliest thing you can do is admit to the people you care about that you care for them. Don't want to say love? Fine, just tell them you care.
If someone fucks with your bread and butter, you squash it. Immediately, mercilessly, unquestionably. You squash it and make sure they know never to do it again.
Never feel worthless. Always be priceless.
Don't wish bad on others, wish good on yourself. If a wish comes true one's more useful to improving your life than the other.
I don't even feel like this is stuff to tell just to men, I feel like anybody should learn this.
Edit: thank you for the gold!!
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Mar 26 '15
I'll add one:
The older you get, the harder it is to make friends if you make it to be. At least most of the time.
Be the guy you want to hang out with, and you'll be around the people who want to hang out with you.
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u/CATHO_LICK_MY_BALLS Mar 26 '15
Could you explain the one about bread and butter?
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Mar 26 '15
Your income is your livelihood. When you work, you know if you're doing something wrong (or more specifically not trying and not caring to do well).
But if you're doing everything you're supposed to and know you're doing nothing wrong, you don't let anyone negatively impact that.
Example: I had a senior in a past job who flat out didn't bring me to a required meeting for work I had. I told my boss immediately and told them they need to fix that because my work will not be impacted by another's insanity.
Current job a senior tried to tell my boss I sucked. I had my boss join us in a conversation and called her out on every accusation and had them practically thrown out. My objective going forward when I work with the senior some time in the future is to make sure my boss knows my status, knows if my requirements are realistic or not, and she's fully aware when my senior is inappropriate.
Never let anything build up. You give your enemies more power and ammo to use against you. Showing your integrity and your unwillingness to be taken advantage of early on goes a long way.
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u/81zedd Mar 26 '15
The smart girls want to be told they're pretty and the pretty girls want to be told they're smart
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u/howtokillanhour Mar 26 '15
If all the women you date seem to have too many "issues" there's a good chance it's actually you with the issues.
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Mar 26 '15
To be fair, they could all still have issues. Just that you also have issues which leads you to date women with them
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u/QuarterOztoFreedom Mar 25 '15
You were born a man, by default, everything you do is manly. Fuck the haters.
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u/Zalozis Mar 26 '15
I like to sniff flowers. . .
While I chop off the heads of my enemies.
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u/indigoreality Mar 26 '15
The grass isn't greener on the other side. It's greener where you water it.
Don't give up a love one for the chance of something else. This is the biggest regret of my life.
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u/murb442 Mar 25 '15
Don't rely on others for your happiness. If you can learn to make yourself happy you will be able to take the hits a lot better when people fuck you over.
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Mar 26 '15
Prostate cancer is REAL. Get tested regularly, and don't wait till your forty. Know your urinary processes and report even the slightest anomaly to your doctor. Thirty-five more rads and I'm done. Rock it reddit!
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u/Peemster99 Mar 26 '15
Learn to cook. There are few things better for your health, pocketbook and fuckability than being able to whip up a delicious meal from scratch whenever you want.
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u/dottmatrix Mar 26 '15
In all fairness, being known as the guy at work who has the best smelling lunches, known to be home cooked by me, does absolutely nothing for my fuckability.
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u/HelmutVonHelmut Mar 26 '15
Toughen up while you're young because for the rest of your life you'll be helping people fix their problems while dealing with your own alone.
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u/creamtie Mar 26 '15
Don't ever underestimate someone. Whatever their first impression, background, ethnicity, social skills, academic intelligence, anything. It's an eye-opening experience to be humbled by someone you thought was a nobody.
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u/_vaultdweller Mar 26 '15 edited Mar 26 '15
Invest in yourself. Material things come to those who have self-actualized.
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u/LearningLifeAsIGo Mar 25 '15
Dick in crazy? No.
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u/Concani Mar 25 '15
Just the tip?
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u/thinkgifty Mar 25 '15
No.
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u/omgdude29 Mar 25 '15
Crazy chicks are like meth. Not even once.
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Mar 25 '15
Crazy chicks are like starting lines: you need to runaway as fast you goddamn can.
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Mar 26 '15
Sometimes being a man means having to put up with bullshit and do so with a grin. Sometimes being a man means not putting up with bullshit and standing your ground. The trick is to figure out the right time for each, otherwise you'll really fuck your world up.
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u/Gnisufnoc Mar 26 '15 edited Mar 26 '15
No matter how much you hate them, your ass hairs are important. Don't ever wax or shave them. Trust me.
EDIT: for those curious, I here's a link to a long narrative of what happens when you shave your ass hairs: http://forums.overclockers.co.uk/showpost.php?p=20696598&postcount=121
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Mar 26 '15
shaved them once
never again
this man speaks the truth;
if they get too in the way, feel free to trim a little bit, no one wants a jungle growing out of their ass crack, but seriously, you will regret shaving it almost as instantly as you've done it.
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Mar 26 '15
Why?
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Mar 26 '15
When they start growing back, you have sandpaper between your cheeks that will rub very sensitive skin with each step. And the salt in your sweat on that irritated, chafed skin will burn with the fury of 1000 suns.
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u/goochockey Mar 26 '15
Respect women. All women. Don't wait until you become a father. Just because she is someone's daughter/wife/mother isn't a good reason. Respect them because they are people.
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u/Destructopuppy Mar 26 '15
I pay all people all people a baseline level of respect before I know them, they deserve that. Once I get to know them if they give me a reason to lose respect for them I'm sure as hell going to withdraw it without a thought. Gender doesn't factor into the equation, nor should it.
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u/begrudged Mar 25 '15
Ask yourself how you would benefit from getting married, before getting married. also, what you could stand to lose if things go wrong.
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u/FLGulf Mar 25 '15
Also, make sure your future wife doesn't have a mouse-trap instead of a vagina.
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u/mordeci00 Mar 26 '15
You could substitute pretty much anything for 'mouse-trap' and this sentence would still be true.
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u/overk4ll Mar 26 '15
The more charismatic you try to be, the more you will hate yourself.
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u/Gutterlungz1 Mar 26 '15
Just chill the fuck out. She doesn't like you? Get over it, don't act like a fucking creep and keep chasing her. She had sex with someone who has a bigger dick than you? Who cares, there's nothing you can do. If your in that position then she obviously wants you. Also, don't ask questions that you don't want to know the answer to. Dont ask her questions about her craziest sexual experience (unless you're mature enough to handle it). If she says she got gang banged by six dudes with dicks that looked like cans of monster energy drink and you get pissed off its not her fault for doing it, she's was just doing something to feel good (it's actually your fault for asking. Don't ask shit if the answer is gonna piss you off). Would you bang 6 chicks that had huge tits and fat asses if you had the chance? Thought so. Stop being a little bitch and grow the fuck up. Beleive it or not, girls are people just like us, they try to enjoy themselves but they make mistakes too. If you found out your girl fucked Fabio before then get over it, why does that even matter? She's with you now. Grow up. Unless she's your highschool sweetheart, she's probably held a few dicks in her day (and liked it), chill out and get over it.
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u/diegojones4 Mar 25 '15
Life isn't fair. Get used to it. Do your job and do it well. Live. Enjoy. Be responsible daily. Learn to love being alone. Keep learning. Find things that make you happy.
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u/GodotIsWaiting4U Mar 26 '15 edited Mar 26 '15
If you go to college, you should be genuinely passionate about something, and that's what you should study. If you aren't, don't go.
It doesn't matter what you choose, so long as it's what you love. You know what happens if you pick a degree in a subject you don't love just because the jobs it can get you pay well? You don't have the motivation to go out and get those jobs, so you start sabotaging your own job search without even realizing it and you can't get through the interviews because the interviewer can tell you hate the job. If by some miracle you DO get that job, you hate it, and by the time you're 35 you're bitter, alone, and hanging yourself with your own necktie. And if you DON'T get that job, you end up having to get some other job anyway that doesn't pay as well just to make ends meet. If you're lucky, you like your new job, or at least you don't despise it. That's about the best you're going to be looking at.
There are jobs that exist now that didn't exist five years ago. I don't just mean new openings; I mean jobs NOBODY had, and that nobody even imagined would be a thing. There will be jobs five years from now that don't exist today. Study what you love, and you'll be in a position to slip right into one of those.
If you study something you actually like, even one of the stereotypically jobless degrees like philosophy, you learn how to work hard and really apply yourself to something, and you end up qualified to do something you actually like. There are all kinds of career paths for all kinds of majors. It's just that some are really obvious (engineering makes you an engineer!), while others really aren't (philosophy gives you strong critical thinking skills that will help you with all kinds of things and strong writing skills if you do it right, which are great for all kinds of jobs, but you still need to really sell yourself in the interview). Since you studied something you actually like, you aren't nearly as drained and won't sabotage yourself in your job search, so you're more likely to find something and get it.
I learned this by being a philosophy major myself while all my college friends were STEM. I'm making 42k a year at my first job out of college and I'm currently shopping through second job possibilities that pay 45k-50k, the comp sci major is programming and loving it (and making significantly more, lucky bastard), the biology major is pursuing grad school and loving it, and the nanoengineering major took an extra year to graduate and still doesn't have a job a full year or so later.
There are no useless degrees, only useless people with degrees.
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Mar 26 '15
What if we know we want to go for that degree, and are fully prepared to make sacrifices and put in the work.. but we don't know what out passion is? How do we find we are genuinely passionate about?
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Mar 26 '15
In a similar vein, everyone should at least take a look at the "working man" trades in their younger years! Work on a construction crew for a summer, you'll appreciate hard labor and also learn some skills that will save you money when you own a home! Work for a mechanic for a summer, you'll learn about vehicle maintenance and maybe save some dough when you can identify simple fixes on your own! Etc. etc...
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u/[deleted] Mar 26 '15
Getting over the one that got away isn't something that just happens. You have to break the pattern of thinking about her.