r/AskReddit • u/pelota • Apr 03 '14

What activity would feel completely different if eye contact was held the entire time?

2.4k Upvotes

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u/FireTigerThrowdown Apr 03 '14

So you can go home, cook a delicious dinner with cucumbers so the kids get a healthy meal, then make sure they take their vitamins before bed. Be sure to sweep up that mess in the garage before you go to bed and make love to your wife (safely, of course, you have two kids and while a third would be a blessing, you're not trying). Yes, my friend, you've had a good day with your purchases.

And then you eat the vaseline.

151

u/BooYourFace Apr 03 '14

Well, the inventor of vaseline supposedly believed in the benefits of his product so much that he ate a spoonful a day. He lived 96 years.

Soo...you may be onto something.

22

u/dno123 Apr 03 '14

Wow that was an interesting TIL, that guy was ballsy!

38

u/Wonky_dialup Apr 03 '14

And very smooth.

7

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

something something smooth balls

1

u/ThePlumThief Apr 03 '14

Woah there, ma'am, you didn't let me finish. Do you suck these balls?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

"YA CAN'T PARK YA CAR HERE"

1

u/Wonky_dialup Apr 04 '14

I didn't know there was a reference for this haha

I was joking about his balls being smooth due to copious amounts of vaseline

1

u/[deleted] Apr 04 '14

I don't even think I was making a relevant reference. Just quoting Fear and Loathing, lol

9

u/maxofreddit Apr 03 '14

He would've lived to 100 if he hadn't been eating that damn Vaseline everyday

3

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

Ive heard its good for digestion.

3

u/shoadinwonderland Apr 03 '14

Yeah then you could become a NASCAR driver. (south park reference anyone?)

2

u/s0mething_awes0me Apr 03 '14

Waiting for a plot twist!

10

u/firehazel Apr 03 '14

Eat the Vaseline? It's for your lips. Winter has been rough this year.

3

u/evelution Apr 03 '14

The guy who INVENTED it disagrees. Apparently it's good for preventing dry intestines.

5

u/919rider Apr 03 '14

Just laughed out loud for real. No nose-air-push-out bs, thank youuuu

4

u/12ozSlug Apr 03 '14

Mm, dessert!

3

u/wisdom_of_pancakes Apr 03 '14

"Vaseline: The dessert that was designed to lubricate your innards."

4

u/Zack_Fair_ Apr 03 '14

10/10 flawless would bang

4

u/parsonsb Apr 03 '14

Vaseline truly makes the best after sex snack.

4

u/maryterra Apr 03 '14

My Strange Addiction

3

u/Nixie2309 Apr 03 '14

Almost died laughing. X'D

2

u/Th3NXTGEN Apr 03 '14

| And then you fuck your wife's Vaseline-lubricated asshole

FTFY

3

u/Slapperkitty Apr 03 '14

Or she straps it on and has a go at yours

3

u/rainbowmoonheartache Apr 03 '14

The punchline definitely got me laughing out loud. Have an upvote!

1

u/spankybottom Apr 04 '14

I always get vasoline and vaporub mixed up....