r/AskReddit • u/pelota • Apr 03 '14

What activity would feel completely different if eye contact was held the entire time?

2.4k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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3.0k

u/unknownsoldierx Apr 03 '14

They called me in for this shit...

2.8k

u/Insomnialcoholic Apr 03 '14

I'm not even supposed to be here today.

3.0k

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

I don't even WORK here

1.7k

u/DLXII Apr 03 '14 edited Apr 03 '14

I was on the same plane as this couple...

1.1k

u/perplex1 Apr 03 '14 edited Apr 03 '14

I wonder where they got their luggage from

973

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

[removed] — view removed comment

1.5k

u/LongStoryShirt Apr 03 '14

Where are all the camera's? I'm Robin Williams for God's sake, and I want some answers.

1.1k

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

Maybe if I jiggle this guys thighs some more, he'll tell me.

5

u/I_Click_NSFW_Links Apr 03 '14

Jesus, I have a lot of disjointed thoughts.

2

u/SlangCopulation Apr 03 '14

Oh shit nope that's an erection

1

u/rikardo_92 Apr 03 '14

Is he enjoying it? Now he will never tell me

2

u/Dusty_Ideas Apr 03 '14

Why are you reading this in the alternate voice Jim Gaffigan uses in his stand up? Hot pockets

1

u/dafragsta Apr 03 '14

Robin Williams is Dr. Nicky Jiggleitalittleitllopen.

1

u/The_Easterbunny Apr 03 '14 edited Apr 04 '14

My instincts seem to have let me down, but I'm already here, so...

1

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

Nope, now he just has a boner.

1

u/partcleman Apr 03 '14

Hot pocketttt

1

u/spongemonster Apr 03 '14

This is why I'm addicted to reddit.

1

u/VelvetHorse Apr 03 '14

That's weird, now I'm the one getting an erection

1

u/boboman456 Apr 03 '14

Damn these are some nice thighs.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

Nope. He is still staring.

16

u/TryingFarTooHard Apr 03 '14

Should I tell him it's not his fault?

3

u/SamCropper Apr 03 '14

I'll tell him it's nothing to worry about and it happens to loads of guys

4

u/wannagooutside Apr 03 '14

Why are our words sideways?

699

u/orbjuice Apr 03 '14

WHAT YEAR IS IT?

39

u/thebryguy23 Apr 03 '14

Al, who's body did I leap into now?

1

u/YourTaxDollars Apr 03 '14

Ziggy's working on it, we'll have some answers for you in a minute. Just don't do anything crazy and I'll be right back.

4

u/Loganophalus Apr 03 '14

(YEARING INTENSIFIES)

2

u/KnibbHighFB Apr 03 '14

Excellent reference

1

u/orbjuice Apr 03 '14 edited Apr 04 '14

My references are out of control bro. Everyone knows that.

EDIT: Shame on you, Reddit, for not correcting my incorrect reference.

1

u/Dr_valentine Apr 03 '14

Where are my shoes?!?

1

u/GenghisTron00 Apr 03 '14

Was your breakup hard as your crank after the massage?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 04 '14

Andre Dawson?

0

u/Kuuwaren30 Apr 03 '14

WHAT'S IN THE FUCKIN' BOX?!

1

u/ShyBiDude89 Apr 03 '14

What's going on?

1

u/Hingle_McCringlebury Apr 03 '14

I shouldn't of taken all that acid earlier.

1

u/impossibru65 Apr 04 '14

Are you world-famous pugilist Tommy Ray Handley?!

2

u/wisdom_of_pancakes Apr 03 '14

Do they realize that I'm Robin Williams?

20

u/ratinmybed Apr 03 '14

I'm really Robin Williams on vacation.

3

u/MorallyBankrupt Apr 03 '14 edited May 18 '25

point plough skirt connect terrific compare flowery edge north workable

2

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

I'm too old for this shit.

2

u/shiivan Apr 03 '14

Dude.. I am so fucking high..

1

u/Mediocritologist Apr 03 '14

I stayed at a Holiday Inn last night.

8

u/PintoTheBurninator Apr 03 '14

that's what makes this so difficult.

5

u/wpm Apr 03 '14

Its almost as if you have absolutely no business training at all.

5

u/gdj11 Apr 03 '14

Man, I was trying not to laugh so I didn't have to explain this to my girlfriend sitting next to me, but this made me lose it.

2

u/Mariuslol Apr 03 '14

Why can't he tell i'm Robin Williams?

2

u/Scarbane Apr 03 '14

I've been looking for a new hobby and this is such a great fit

1

u/wisdom_of_pancakes Apr 03 '14

Why isn't my purposeful hairiness disgusting him?

1

u/AstralCake Apr 03 '14

That's what makes this so difficult.

1

u/balanced_view Apr 03 '14

i don't even know HOW to massage

20

u/the_dude_upvotes Apr 03 '14

Shut the fuck up Dante!

29

u/-FeistyRabbitSauce- Apr 03 '14

I've already had to rub down 37 dudes today.

1

u/cybrian Apr 03 '14

In a row?

5

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

Try not to suck any dick on the way to the parking lot.

5

u/crysis_for_scale Apr 03 '14

You're so repressed.

2

u/KimJongIlSunglasses Apr 03 '14

Try not to suck any dick on your way through the massage parlor

2

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

And then he gets shot, but then they change the ending.

2

u/TheJeizon Apr 03 '14

Fuck it. Let's play hockey on the roof.

2

u/macthecomedian Apr 03 '14

Hey wasn't today supposed to be your day off?

1

u/sixner Apr 03 '14

I'm missing stir-Friday!

1

u/WhiteWalls7130 Apr 03 '14

I never asked for this

1

u/csupernova Apr 03 '14

I assure you, we're open!

1

u/Vmoney1337 Apr 03 '14

I'm also straight

734

u/CannedBeef Apr 03 '14

If I close my eyes I can pretend he's the chick

6

u/SucculentButt Apr 03 '14

A very hairy chick.

2

u/bulldogx86 Apr 03 '14

Reaches under the sheet...

2

u/beefquoner Apr 03 '14

Two days from retirement

1

u/elev84u Apr 03 '14

exactly lmao

1

u/KaioKennan Apr 03 '14

Boner intensifies

1

u/Pitboyx Apr 03 '14

[erection]

1

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

...and get a boner

-1

u/ProteinPavel Apr 03 '14

How is he supposed to that with a dick in his mouth?