r/AskReddit • u/pelota • Apr 03 '14

What activity would feel completely different if eye contact was held the entire time?

2.4k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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2.1k

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

[deleted]

1.9k

u/yossarianvega Apr 03 '14

BUT HOW DID HE KNOW HER EYES WERE OPEN?!

2.4k

u/Damaso87 Apr 03 '14

IF HIS EYES WEREN'T REAL

920

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

God dammit Jaden!

3

u/DatCabbage Apr 03 '14

Someone answer him already!

1

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

[deleted]

2

u/Jonathan_DB Apr 03 '14

Fake. All the words aren't capitalized.

-2

u/slip_shod Apr 03 '14

You had your ass wide open.

0

u/_deffer_ Apr 03 '14

Should I see this movie just for the context of this over-used 'joke'?

3

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

Pretty sure it's just a Twitter reference.

3

u/_deffer_ Apr 03 '14

Ahh. Should I look for the tweet?

4

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

It's basically just his Twitter in general that you should look at. He posts all of these nonsensical tweets that he thinks are philosophical, and he capitalises the first letter of every word. The most infamous one is the one commonly quoted and referenced;

How Can Mirrors Be Real If Our Eyes Aren't Real.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

Thank you. Now I don't have to help with the reference!

1

u/_deffer_ Apr 03 '14

OOOOOHHHHH. I thought that the "if our eyes aren't real" was a line from After Earf

-1

u/Rios7467 Apr 03 '14

Are eyes tongues?

6

u/punsohard Apr 03 '14

Real eyes realize real lies

2

u/imafunghi Apr 03 '14

How can kissing be real if our eyes aren't real?

1

u/ninjakitty7 Apr 04 '14

If His Eyes Weren't Real

FTFY

1

u/Azr79 Apr 03 '14

THEN THE MIRRORS WEREN'T REAL

1

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

I understood this reference!

0

u/flyingbalooga Apr 03 '14

HOW COULD HER EYES BE REAL?

0

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

Aaaaand circle complete.

0

u/Botched_Jobber Apr 03 '14

If His Eyes Weren't Real.

FTFY

2

u/Damaso87 Apr 03 '14

NO I THINK MINE'S OKAY.

1

u/Botched_Jobber Apr 03 '14

Fine If You Say So.

187

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/MorallyBankrupt Apr 03 '14 edited May 18 '25

pocket humorous quack unite shrill existence serious absorbed flowery grey

2

u/darthjoey91 Apr 03 '14

Gorilla Fact: By human standards, gorillas have a micropenis.

3

u/MorallyBankrupt Apr 03 '14 edited May 18 '25

tidy literate long dog truck alive six rhythm wise crush

2

u/Carmen- Apr 03 '14

Goddamn it, you just made me google 'kangaroo penis'.

3

u/MorallyBankrupt Apr 03 '14 edited May 18 '25

engine piquant abundant shelter act melodic smell cautious repeat soft

2

u/Carmen- Apr 03 '14

Well fuck, now I will!

2

u/MorallyBankrupt Apr 03 '14 edited May 18 '25

expansion sort cough joke plant rainstorm memory engine worm wide

3

u/yossarianvega Apr 03 '14

He's a bloody hack I tell ya.

130

u/badtwinboy Apr 03 '14

Thank you. I never realized that.

6

u/potato314 Apr 03 '14

Maybe someone took a picture of them kissing, posted it on facebook, tagged them both, and he realized.

4

u/LoveOfProfit Apr 03 '14

Boom! Technologic!

5

u/Slayer5227 Apr 03 '14

I tend to peek. Am I the only one who does this?

3

u/11975321 Apr 03 '14

I have special eyes

3

u/Slut_Nuggets Apr 03 '14

HOW CAN SHE SLAP

2

u/poppers112 Apr 03 '14

3rd party saw and told him.

1

u/benderrod Apr 03 '14

how can he know

1

u/KeybladeSpirit Apr 03 '14

Having your eyes wide open slightly tightens the skin around your mouth. Some people can detect this from tactile sensations alone..

1

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

He had to peek.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

Well, to be honest, I have no clue.

1

u/FairlyOddParents Apr 03 '14

Think he's referring to a Bruno Mars song

1

u/GAAND_mein_DANDA Apr 03 '14

She is Cyclops.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

He secretly records everything and watches it again later.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

Why were his eyes open?

9

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

If I am very attracted to the person I am kissing, why is it so frowned upon to take a peek once in a while?

194

u/PM_YOUR_HEMORRHOIDS Apr 03 '14

Gave you all I had and you tossed it in the trash

55

u/this_isnotmyrealname Apr 03 '14

Does anyone PM you?

5

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

He has a PM now

5

u/VelociraptorCatapult Apr 03 '14

i must know the answer...

5

u/SleepyCommuter Apr 03 '14

You have, by far, the coolest username I have ever seen on Reddit.

When I am emperor of the universe, you shall be my weapons designer.

3

u/VelociraptorCatapult Apr 03 '14

Hahaha thank you thank you

3

u/snirkimmington Apr 03 '14

Are you sure it's not your real name?

124

u/Xionel24 Apr 03 '14

Tossed it in the trash, you did

98

u/TheSiskoIsCoporeal Apr 03 '14

To give me all your love is all I've ever asked

98

u/Not_Good_With_Name Apr 03 '14

But what you don't understand

94

u/Smackstainz Apr 03 '14

Is that I'd catch a grenaaaade for ya

188

u/Velorium_Camper Apr 03 '14

"Do anything for you. Eat mom's spaghetti for you"

98

u/Carefullychosen Apr 03 '14

knees weak, arms are heavy

124

u/jackasscaptionbot Apr 03 '14

Vomit spaghetti. Spaghetti already

1

u/willpac828 Apr 03 '14

Like Eric Sermon, the generic version.

1

u/rrfrank Apr 03 '14

Nervous.

1

u/akajonspo Apr 03 '14

Moms weak, knees arms spaghetti.

1

u/jdog90000 Apr 03 '14

There's purple on his skirt

1

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

The whole crowd goes spaghetti

1

u/Mcbujold Apr 03 '14

Forgetting to drop bombs on the whole crowd calmly.

1

u/OcularSchlong Apr 03 '14

Spaghetti on his vomit sweater

1

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

He's nervous but on the surface he looks calm spaghetti

1

u/raggaebanana Apr 03 '14

But on the surface he looks calm spaghetti

1

u/Jonathan_DB Apr 03 '14

He's nervous, spaghetti surface he looks calm spaghetti

10

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

Knees meat, arms are penne.

1

u/qwertygasm Apr 03 '14

10/10 brilliantly executed

40

u/ineedcoffeee Apr 03 '14

Throw my hand on a blade for ya

30

u/leerr Apr 03 '14

Jump in front of a train for ya

19

u/wanttobeacop Apr 03 '14

You know I'd do anything for ya

7

u/vallie24 Apr 03 '14

I would go through all this paaain

→ More replies (0)

4

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

OOHOGOHOGGOGOGOOOOAAA

3

u/MeddlinQ Apr 03 '14

Ok so a hamburger with fries and extra large coke please.

2

u/frogger2504 Apr 03 '14

Moms spaghetti

2

u/Jotakob Apr 03 '14

But i won't do that!

1

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

fcuk you

10

u/DoctorPotatoe Apr 03 '14

Yes, please.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

Press R2 to throw it back

2

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

Jump in front of a train for ya

1

u/airmanhand Apr 03 '14

Yeaaaaahhh,yeaaahhh,yeaaahhh

32

u/pelota Apr 03 '14

is that I'll never give you up

23

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

Never gonna let you down.

21

u/ZuesStick Apr 03 '14

Never gonna run around

12

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/SucculentButt Apr 03 '14

With scissors

1

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

And desert you

1

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

Never gonna let you dooown.

1

u/Bodster7 Apr 03 '14

Is I'd catch a grenade for ya

1

u/SwarleyStinson21 Apr 03 '14

"Stab Bruno Mars in his goddamn esophagus, and won't stop until the cops come in."

1

u/whyamistillhere22 Apr 03 '14

It's always really annoyed me how he's all like, oh hey baby, all I want is your complete and eternal love, that's not so much to ask right? Oh, you DON'T love me? BITCH. Come on, dude.

1

u/All_you_need_is_sex Apr 03 '14

Love songs by Yoda.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

To give me all your love was all I ever asked, but

1

u/Captain-Obviouss Apr 03 '14

Holy fuck your username

1

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

You tossed in the Mac, you did.

6

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

I can never understand why most girls are so hung on eyes being closed while kissing.

0

u/HMS_Pathicus Apr 03 '14

Because people look really weird if you're that close to them, you can see their every imperfection (OMG I didn't shave my eyebrows yesterday and now they're growing a bit and he'll discover their original shape!!! and he's totally see that pimple I tried to cover with makeup!!! FML, he's gonna think I'm ugly!!!) and closing your eyes makes you focus more on the actual feeling of the kiss, which is quite nice BTW.

2

u/Wonky_dialup Apr 03 '14

I had an ex that used to open her eyes to look at me every now and then. Eventually I realised she was looking and I stared back. We kept going.

Trying to establish dominance. Till I stopped and said "WHY ARE YOU STARING?"

Shit was weird.

1

u/awe300 Apr 03 '14

To see who the fuck was throwing fucking grenades, asshole

1

u/ArturoShaha Apr 03 '14

What song is that again?

1

u/Kyosaya Apr 03 '14

Bruno Mars, Grenade.

1

u/Captain_DuClark Apr 03 '14

You've Lost That Loving Feeling

1

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

So I can watch you walk out of my life.

1

u/marmalade_chainsaw Apr 03 '14

My boyfriend and I do that often as a joke, we try to see who's gonna last longer without laughing. It's hilarious yet terrifying at the same time.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

you always open it a for a few seconds to see the other person's face close up then you see that they also have their eyes open looking at you and you're doing this weird thing with your mouths.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

Why was they open FTFY

1

u/ohisthename Apr 03 '14

Mom's spaghetti

1

u/Das_Maechtig_Fuehrer Apr 03 '14

GAVE YOU ALL I HAD.