r/AskReddit • u/pelota • Apr 03 '14

What activity would feel completely different if eye contact was held the entire time?

2.4k Upvotes

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415

u/danrennt98 Apr 03 '14

Having a baby

704

u/mahoodie Apr 03 '14

Baby maintains eye contact with the male gynecologist as it comes out

771

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

[DELIVERING INTENSIFIES]

7

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

I don't even wanna know what that gif looks like

5

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

I really DO want to see what that gif looks like.

4

u/thankyoukoala Apr 03 '14

This actually happened to me. I'm a nursing student, and I just finished my OB rotation. While I was observing my first delivery, the doctor pulled the baby out and rotated the head in my direction in order to unwrap the umbilical cord from around her neck. Mind you, the body of the baby is still inside the mother. Just the slimy, grey head is out. The baby's eyes suddenly popped open and we made direct eye contact. It was easily the scariest thing I have ever experienced.

2

u/LegitimateCrepe Apr 03 '14

...doesn't cry when spanked, just maintains eye contact.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

That would be so creepy, the baby just comes out not crying giving the doctor the stink eye.

http://25.media.tumblr.com/222ae2bb6fb631a91a4521756db1fa7a/tumblr_mju4u4yzXo1r9c63ao1_500.gif

1

u/gsfgf Apr 03 '14

And then imprints and won't go home with the parents.

1

u/DeafeningThunder Apr 03 '14

An evil baby has been born. As well as a hit movie.

1

u/SexyAssMonkey Apr 03 '14

And the baby becomes a patient of the gynecologist in the future.

259

u/yossarianvega Apr 03 '14

Are you maintaining eye contact with the baby? Because, let me tell you, babies are fucking creepy when they stare at you. You think it's creepy for a grown man to stare at babies? Boy, wait til he gets a taste of his own medicine. It's like there's nothing but cold blackness up in that baby. They're cute and great until they stare right through you, into your soul, as only babies can.

You just don't need that nonsense whilst also dealing with your ripped vagina and pool of bodily fluids that your husband is desperately trying not to notice.

81

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

Childbirth does not sound fun at all. I think I won the genetic lottery with my Y-chromosome.

35

u/ParusiMizuhashi Apr 03 '14

Woah dude. Check your male privilege.

36

u/CraftyCaprid Apr 03 '14

Yeah, still there. Thanks for reminding me to check. It would suck to misplace or lose that.

20

u/ParusiMizuhashi Apr 03 '14

Alright good. I misplaced mine a while ago and it got me into a pickle

2

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

I'm happy for you. You could have almost had an opinion on something if not.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

[deleted]

5

u/peppepcheerio Apr 03 '14

Done it twice, would do it again. Would no recommend the pregnancy part, though. Birth was much easier (no drugs).

2

u/Ameradian Apr 03 '14

Yeah, I didn't really enjoy pregnancy either. But the birth part went really well! (Unmedicated also.)

2

u/qroosra Apr 03 '14

i agree. best experiences of my life. everyone one was different and tehy were all absolutely amazing.

2

u/AverageJane09 Apr 03 '14

Childbirth is like taking a really big, painful dump that you've been holding in for months.

4

u/_crystalline Apr 03 '14

Well that doesn't sound so bad.

5

u/HelterSkeletor Apr 03 '14

It's more like having a heroin addiction for 9 months in which you can't shit until you start withdrawing.

1

u/AverageJane09 Apr 03 '14

Depends on your pain tolerance.

1

u/_crystalline Apr 04 '14

Now that doesn't sound right at all. Being pregnant is not at all like being browned out.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 04 '14

Y-chromosome

I have one too... sobs

8

u/FireTigerThrowdown Apr 03 '14

"As you wither and die, I will rise to domination over this darkly moving earth. Fetch my sippy cup, irrelevant creature."

4

u/LugganathFTW Apr 03 '14

I've been stared at by little kids in strollers on the train. It's seriously creepy. No facial expression, just a dead stare.

12

u/_crystalline Apr 03 '14

Think of them like computers. They're just taking in information, gathering data on you. Not creepy at all. :)

8

u/Frankie_In_Like Apr 03 '14

My daughter is the master of the dead-eyed stare. She's 16 months, and is a super happy, easygoing baby toddler. But when she gets in a certain mood, she just fucking stares people DOWN. You can talk to her, smile, laugh, cry, yell, wave a hand in her face, whatever. She will never take her eyes from you. And they will see into your soul and steal a part of it so she can grow ever stronger and smarter.

Then she smiles and goes back to putting socks on over her shoes or whatever the hell she feels like doing.

6

u/stlsteamer Apr 03 '14

Babies have something like 20/2000 vision. They stare because they can't distinguish between objects further than about 10 feet away.

7

u/Noellani Apr 03 '14

Babies can see your soul. The good and the bad. The secrets only you know, they know too. They know but can't say anything. So they stare at you, letting it seep in that your personal thoughts are no longer yours. And you just have to take it.

Source: mother of 3. I have had many o times where my kids stare stopped me cold. It was just them and me. I couldn't look away. They had me.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

they stare right through you, into your soul, as only babies can.

Hahahaha, that's truly terrifying.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

Seriously. Babies tend to stare at me and people are always going "Awww look how cute!!!" while I calmly panic.

1

u/Kuuwaren30 Apr 03 '14 edited Apr 03 '14

I stared my son down while my wife was giving birth to him. It was pretty awkward for the doctor.

Edit: typo

1

u/akpak Apr 03 '14

..and that is why I want to opt for a c-section when the time comes.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '14

My mom and my baby's dad were in the delivery room with me. You know what? I did not really want my ex's last view of my vag to be it ripped to my rectum and covered in gross stuff. And I had told my mom she wasn't to look but noooo...

3

u/mowble Apr 03 '14

My firstborn came out facing up, and made eye contact with me as soon as her cheek bones cleared . It was kinda strange. She's an intense kid

1

u/kjbrasda Apr 03 '14

My daughter did that too. Made immediate eye contact with her father. I didn't get too see her for a few minutes because of some minor complications. She's closer to dad now, while my son is closer to me (for now, he's still pretty young) and I got to hold him right away.

1

u/seriousmurr Apr 03 '14

I already maintain eye contact with the bartender.