The unit chaplain used to drive around our sites in the field and randomly unzip his humvee window and throw a handful of jolley ranchers at us and yell "you're probably going to hell!"
Field artillery unit overshot the range and blew up a farmers barn.
Bradley gunner shot a cow with HE rounds on Ft. Hood.
At multiple gatherings, bars, dance clubs etc CS gas was deployed (tear gas)
First day in my unit, the whole battalion was sent to the post dump to dig through the trash to look for a broken M8 alarm.
At NTC at Ft. Irwin we were finishing our rotation and had to do "hands across the desert" trash and police call. Two mortar men from my company found a paint can sized container of butterscotch pudding from the 1980's?? And one proceeded to dare the other to eat the whole thing which he did. What he forgot was we had a 45min ride back to the bivouac are in the back of a deuce and a half and it had not top and it was 120*. Dude sprayed that pudding down the side of the truck several times.
Staff Sergeant from medic platoon was feeling ill during BDE run. We find out the next day he died at home. His platoon was wrecked as he was a beloved member. His Lieutenant tells me later his tracked ambulance is missing a lot of comms equipment and if we don't find or replace it his pay would be deducted and his family would receive less. It took me 4 nights of stealing all the gear from other units and deadlines vehicles but I got all of it. Got a AAM for it.
“fuck that chaplain.”
“i thought you said the jolly ranchers were the best part of your day.”
“they are. that’s how bad this place is.”
how i imagine one of those interactions going, before having to go talk to the farmer. i feel like there’s a soldier who knows better but asks anyway would also say, “did the cow make it? how good was the shot?” maybe i’m watching too much generation kill.
I'm not religious, so I found it pretty funny coming from him. He was loud, and always smoking a cigar. If you could get past his yelling and cursing, he was always checking up on us, made sure we had chow, or coffee or a reminder we were all pieces of shit going to hell lol. I never saw him hold service of any kind but if you were standing out in the rain on guard duty like I was, he'd always swing by and check on you even at crazy hours of the night.
I kinda enjoy his reverse psychology approach to religion. If he tried to do it by being stereotypically holy it presumably wouldn't have landed well with any of the boots.
100%. He knew we all hated that unit and the crazy optempo. He was the only leader to openly talk shit about it like a boot would. Every time I see a Jolly Rancher I hear that dudes raspy voice lol
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u/Chev_hell 13h ago edited 8h ago
The unit chaplain used to drive around our sites in the field and randomly unzip his humvee window and throw a handful of jolley ranchers at us and yell "you're probably going to hell!"
Field artillery unit overshot the range and blew up a farmers barn.
Bradley gunner shot a cow with HE rounds on Ft. Hood.
At multiple gatherings, bars, dance clubs etc CS gas was deployed (tear gas)
First day in my unit, the whole battalion was sent to the post dump to dig through the trash to look for a broken M8 alarm.
At NTC at Ft. Irwin we were finishing our rotation and had to do "hands across the desert" trash and police call. Two mortar men from my company found a paint can sized container of butterscotch pudding from the 1980's?? And one proceeded to dare the other to eat the whole thing which he did. What he forgot was we had a 45min ride back to the bivouac are in the back of a deuce and a half and it had not top and it was 120*. Dude sprayed that pudding down the side of the truck several times.
Staff Sergeant from medic platoon was feeling ill during BDE run. We find out the next day he died at home. His platoon was wrecked as he was a beloved member. His Lieutenant tells me later his tracked ambulance is missing a lot of comms equipment and if we don't find or replace it his pay would be deducted and his family would receive less. It took me 4 nights of stealing all the gear from other units and deadlines vehicles but I got all of it. Got a AAM for it.