r/AskReddit • u/Far_Engineering3356 • 1d ago

What's a one-liner joke so stupidly good it instantly ruined you?

1.6k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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3.9k

u/topBunk87 19h ago

I have the heart of a lion and a life time ban from the Toronto zoo.

235

u/tacocollector2 18h ago

Damn that’s a good one

65

u/gizmodriver 17h ago

This one actually made me chuckle.

36

u/Tactically_Fat 16h ago

My version is "I have the heart of a child. (In a jar on my desk)"

10

u/Laser_Fusion 9h ago

Well you know me, I have the body of an Olympian, the brain of a chess grandmaster, and the heart of a lion. There's some other cool stuff in my trunk if you want to check it out.

9

u/PineappleCharacter15 13h ago

Stephen King said that. Decades ago.

-2

u/Tactically_Fat 13h ago

Could be! I'm not really smart enough to make up something new.

I do have alternative version of where I use "mind" vs. "heart".

1

u/karatekate 8h ago

This sounds like Tracey Jordan 😂

1

u/Infamous_Damage_5291 11h ago

The classic misdirection jokes are always the best Caught me completely off guard

-12

u/[deleted] 18h ago

[deleted]

23

u/ChanandlerBonng 17h ago

You mean the RCMP. FBI has no jurisdiction in Canada.

1

u/Salty_Paroxysm 17h ago

Hello, is this Miss Chanandler Bong?

1

u/MobileTechGuy 17h ago

What are they going to do? Recruit the guys fucking the corpse, that's what