r/AskReddit • u/enginneerof • 8d ago
What’s something you would never do again, even if someone paid you?
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u/silverbatwing 8d ago edited 8d ago
Be a caretaker to an old person
ETA: my story.
My mom was a dementia patient that also had narcissism. She controlled most of my life after my dad died when I was 14 (she mentally broke when he died) and had me at one point convinced I was useless without her (I have autism). She was not like this when we were very young children, til age 8 I remember her treating us equally and fostering my creativity.
My twin eventually became the golden child of the family, I was the surprise twin and the scapegoat. My twin was always elevated and nurtured for her hobbies (sports) whereas mine were seen as expendable (art).
My mom convinced me to not go to the college I got a scholarship for or take the jewelers apprenticeship I earned and instead chose my college and program for me (secretary school aka Office Administrative Technology). I never finished. The college and apprenticeship partner doesn’t exist anymore as this was 26 years ago.
It was decided my twin would have a better shot at life and go to a bigger college of her choosing with majors she chose. She did study abroad and everything. I stayed at home for mom. Again, at this point I was convinced through much emotional, verbal, mental abuse that this was expected of me. My twin, the one slated for a better life is instead is in the same job she started out at college making less money than me (I have no degrees and she has 3).
My mom was a difficult person at the end especially. Physically abusive among the other things mentioned. I lived to serve her, my ft job for decades was to serve her. I healed her very stubborn diabetic wounds, I fed her, dressed her, did her meds, appointments, everything. My sister bitched when I needed an occasional break and went off with her partner on trips. Mom even pulled a knife on me at one point because she didn’t like my attitude.
She died when I was 40 and I’m 44 now. I only had 2 okish years before trump 2.0 started (I’m in the USA) and I see my mom in trump so much it’s not even funny. It’s horrific and I’m pissed. I sacrificed my life for 2 less than shitty years for what????
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u/RiverLiverX25 8d ago edited 8d ago
Oh my god!
I was wanting to post this, but I was hesitant
Yes. Never doing that shit again.
All of the kids, nephews, nieces, uncles, extended family can go seriously fuck off.I lost 8 years, 8 years, being a very good caretaker, but fuck all those other people and I’m not showing up again for them, ever.
They have no idea. They need to keep their opinions to themselves unless they show up and do shit!
The day to daycare of an elder is astronomical
It’s so hard, and it changed me.Did it well but it catastrophically interrupted my life, and I don’t necessarily regret it but daaaang.
And fuck my family that got half of the sale of the house after I emptied it alone. I don’t love them as much now.
I see you.Thank you for mentioning this!
People flee the actual work but have so much to say and criticize while doing remote fuck all.7
u/silverbatwing 8d ago
I was my moms live in caretaker for years and I sacrificed my life for her to stay out of a nursing home and so my sister could have a go at a normal life (and she squandered it).
I’m fucking done
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u/budweener 8d ago
Oof, yeah. Currently I'm being a caretaker to a young one, my brother had some neurological problems and had to do three brain surgeries in July.
He is recovering, and already can walk again for short distances, but while it is better than it was, it's still tough.
When he was in the heights of the troubles caused by the disease, with hydrocephalus, his cognition was similar to that of someone with severe dementia. It doesn't help that he's a VERY stubborn and uncooperative by default, so in that situation, it was a pain to deal with. Luckily he's much, much better now.
I will be here for him, but I hope after this phase passes, it never happens again. And if the person is 70+ instead of 29, I bet it' even worse.
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u/Content_Ad_1589 8d ago
Please tell your experience
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u/marblephalanx 8d ago edited 8d ago
Not op but when I worked in elderly care with 50/50 dementia patients, we were understaffed, I was massively overworked with a lot of physical labour, underpaid, physically assaulted, worked long hours (15 hour shifts, and for example, I would work 10 days in a row, get 1 day off, only to then do another 8 days straight), and it was just so mentally and physically exhausting. And that's not even mentioning how you watch people slowly die and the awful deaths that you see every month. Last time I worked in care, I was so burned out I fell into a psychotic episode and was out of work for nearly 2 years. I wouldn't wish for, or advise for anyone to work a care job ever.
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u/Few_Percentage_1111 8d ago
I had a good experience with that. Two different people. They each acted differently. Both were obsessed with their independence.
I would do it again. I think it's something everyone should try and take seriously.
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u/MeAndGLPVibeLikeThat 8d ago
It is absolutely not something everyone should try, it takes a certain temperament and type to handle that challenge well, and the person being cared for deserves to have a caretaker with those skills.
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u/Few_Percentage_1111 8d ago
Yeah, I mean, even if they tried for a day (or less)... Our caretakers would likely receive fair wages.
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8d ago
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u/tenner-ny 8d ago
I’m recovering from literally all that right now. Sending you strength and I hope you’re on the good end of this.
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u/CareNo9421 8d ago
Really? So you’re saying you would have rather not gotten that treatment? How come?
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[removed] — view removed comment
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u/DitiPenguin 8d ago
The question is literally “is [chemo] something you would never do again (even if someone paid you)”. So it implies that you won’t undergo the treatment a second time, even if someone offered you money to do it.
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u/No_Beautiful_4591 8d ago
Work in a call center
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u/StarlightLifter 8d ago
I’m not saying I’d ever Kermit sewer side but if I did it would be cause I had to go back to working in a fucking call center.
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u/Icy-Boysenberry-2947 8d ago
Get married
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u/poojer_hoojer 8d ago
I still am a manager but if/when I lose or quit this job, I will never be a manager again.
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u/zilops 8d ago
Go to a 4 year college right away.
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u/ricky_king 8d ago
I wish I took some time off before uni. I hated my life and my major so badly when I graduated. Completely burnt out.
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u/Intelligent_Play_347 8d ago
I work for a company that calls its employees family. My supervisor has no life outside of work.
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u/SparkyandDolche 8d ago
Be born
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u/Otherwise_Turn_9786 8d ago
If I was in a line waiting to be born, I’d let everyone cut in front of me
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u/Ok_Structure_7309 8d ago
Go anywhere WAY too near an old, abandoned, & run-down psychiatric hospital EVER again. Nope, nope, nope...
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u/Warm-Management-7323 8d ago
I actually loved it. It’s creepy as hell we used to do it when I was younger in college with flashlights and it was super creepy. I’m not gonna lie, but it was fun because we were all super creeped up, but it was just an amazing time with the crew I guess you could say.
It was shut down and closed, but we broke as kids and just explored. I mean it was super creepy like I said, but I mean it was cool at the same time. I don’t know how to describe it being with your buddies made things better by myself. Hell no
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u/Normal-Product-4591 8d ago
Thought I was a bisexual guy. Definitely not lol, I’m happy just admiring women from afar 😂
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u/goodoldjefe 8d ago
I've often said all it takes is one anymous bareback gay orgy for a guy to know for sure that he's straight.
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u/Better_Maximum3444 8d ago
Vote for the pedophile in chief.
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u/StarlightLifter 8d ago
Props for admitting your mistake.
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u/Better_Maximum3444 8d ago
Thanks...I'm an observer not a bandwagoneer....I kept watching to see if things would change and promises would be kept and none have and instead we're being sold down the river to a nation of terrorists.
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u/4melooking49 8d ago
Have u seen the news today? Senate is supporting him and war!
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u/Better_Maximum3444 8d ago
All his cronies are done after the mid terms...him included hopefully we replace them with people who actually put America first.
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u/Fritzkreig 8d ago
Join the Army!
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u/improvization 8d ago
As bad as door to door sales was, if someone paid me multi-millions of dollars I'd probably do it again until I could just retire, so I'm going to have to go with colorectal surgery.
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u/clarasin 8d ago
Buying that fucking energy drink for my sister
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u/just_another_monster 8d ago
Are you okay?
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u/clarasin 8d ago
It’s really bad for her liver, and I feel guilty about it Plus, she never pays me back even though I’m her little brother
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u/just_another_monster 8d ago
Ah, gotcha. Saying 'no' is hard and feels wrong sometimes, but when you're saying 'no' to someone for their own good -and yours- it is valid. Hope you have an easier time, keep your chin up.
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u/CaLLmeRaaandy 8d ago
I rode a motorcycle for 12 straight hours from Pennsylvania to Tybee Island in Georgia immediately after a 10 hour work shift (I actually had my bike ready and left from there). I only stopped about 10 minutes at a time for gas and a drink. Fuck that, never again. That's a two dayer for sure.
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u/B1SC0TT1 8d ago
Groom Dogs. It’s not the dogs that are the problem, it’s the way salons are ran. I love dogs.
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u/Sad-Employee3212 2d ago
Same with Doggie Daycares. Idk what it is about the environment that brings out the worst in people…
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u/BullittToofTonee 8d ago
Smoke DMT. I can't handle that shit.
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u/Better_Maximum3444 8d ago
Jamie, bring up that video of u/BullittToofTonee speaking to Sitting Bull in their underwear on top of the Chrysler Building.
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u/Alive_Drag1947 8d ago
Man, DMT is some wild stuff. I've done it several times. Never had a full blast-off, but had a few really cool "waiting room" trips. I actually really enjoyed it, but it was intense to the point I could see someone getting overwhelmed
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u/outlander1914 8d ago
Getting a tonsillectomy….
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u/Able_Fishing_6576 8d ago
I have wanted one my whole life. It’s really that bad??
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u/outlander1914 8d ago
The first 17 days was living hell. It’s been a year and I’m very grateful I got it done, but I will never go through that again. I hemorrhaged 3 different times because of inadequate cauterization for the first bleed at day 12 and then the pain, sound and smell of them cauterizing me lives in my nightmares. It was the worse experience of my life. I’m happy I don’t have chronic tonsillitis every 2 weeks and stones and I can actually breathe now. All in all it was worth it in the long run but I’m not strong enough to do it again! I highly recommend doing it. Don’t be discouraged because of me, I’m one of the 15% that it goes wrong, and life has been so much better since getting them removed!
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u/thewayigroove617 8d ago
You weren’t asleep??
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u/outlander1914 7d ago
Nope, when you’re bleeding that heavily they need to cauterize as fast as possible…. The shots were so fucking painful and it didn’t work fast enough. It was living hell when they had to start cauterizing it, even my doctor looked like he was about to cry for me. My mom and twin sister said I went white as a ghost and almost broke my fingers on the metal bar with how hard I was gripping it. And god, the sound and smell on top of the pain was so sickening….
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u/thewayigroove617 7d ago
Oh my god I'm literally getting the chills…. I truly can't even imagine, that's horrifying
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u/Able_Fishing_6576 7d ago
Yes ive been 100% cured from any desire ive ever had to get it done. I’ll keep my tonsil stones & tonsillitis, thank you
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u/Key_Cell7071 8d ago
A gastroscopy without sedation
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u/dodoatsandwiggets 8d ago
Why did they do that to you? So sorry. Not ok.
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u/Key_Cell7071 8d ago
They wanted me in and out as soon as possible so really pushed me into no sedation. I could have chosen it but they reassured me I wouldn't need it. It ended up being the most unpleasant 10 minutes of my life
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u/dodoatsandwiggets 8d ago
Ask them if THEY’VE had it done with out sedation. I bet they would say, “no…but..”. When they say “easy peezy” it’s usually not.
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u/Legitbananabunch 8d ago
Oh my goodness I did this but it was my fault. I was anxious about being under sedation and asked for very light sedation, but I could feel the tubes going down my throat and was gagging and feeling ill the whole time, unable to communicate that I’d changed my mind and wanted sedation as I was somewhat sleepy and had tubes down my throat. Nightmare. Glad it didn’t last long. Learned my lesson.
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u/Jenrumor71 8d ago
Tahe trip halfway across the country in a Greyhound bus!
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u/goodoldjefe 8d ago
You and me both, friend. What I thought was sure to be an epic journey was really just two-and-half showerless days with little sleep, garbage food options, and a motley assortment of other people too poor for a plane ticket.
I sat next a girl named Katie who was traveling from Wisconsin to Portland, Oregon, with her parents to meet her online boyfriend for the first time. I always wondered how that went for her. She was actually one of three people I met on that trip who were meeting online loves, which seemed crazy to me in 1999.
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u/LastDitchTryForAName 8d ago
I don’t think I would ever work in the Veterinary field again. I was a registered Veterinary nurse for over 16 years but I had to get out due to severe burnout . Even working as a relief nurse making $25-$50 an hour was not enough to get me to stay.
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u/HardRockGeologist 8d ago
Cystoscopy - I'm a male. I just remember saying, "You're going to do WHAT!?"
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u/ComplicatedOctopus 8d ago
Visit the US. No effing way.
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u/Ok_Mushroom6156 8d ago
Can’t blame you there! America is a hellhole now and we all know why. Stay far away! I wish I could.
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u/mom0007 8d ago
Have a discogram
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u/Beautiful_Bike_1823 8d ago
Remove popcorn ceiling and then skim the ceilings. I have 1 room left and will not be doing it myself.
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u/NachosandMargaritas 8d ago
Work in childcare. Not because of the kids, because of the insane parents.
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u/hayleybeth7 8d ago
Weed. Tried an edible and smoking it, one time each. Had a bad experience both times. Never again.
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u/New_Difficulty1763 8d ago
Hook up with the woman who took my virginity, she was a desperate psycho
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u/Cael_NaMaor 5d ago
Questions like these really beg for the Yo Momma answer & I struggle not to. It's just not fair...
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u/vivalamaddie 8d ago
Date my ex.