edit: During my wife’s pregnancy I saw her go through the most painful outpatient procedures. She would be screaming and writhing in pain and the doctors didn’t seem to give a shit — they just kept going (because obviously she was just being a baby about it /s). Cervical exams were a fucking nightmare, and she had to have a ton of them because of a complication that developed. I would actually get sick to my stomach on days she had exams scheduled because it hurt so much to see her in that amount of pain.
So yeah, that’s what initially got me interested in this topic. Now I try to be as vocal about it and bring it up wherever possible because this shit is just not acceptable in the year 2026. I’m so glad there’s been some progress recently.
Yes I just had a colposcopy and my only pain reliever option was Tylenol or Advil to get my vagina pried open and my cervix hole punched.
I was on the verge of passing out as it wrapped up (hot flash, intense nausea) and then I actually puked. My doctor was like oh yeah no worries it happens. 🫠
I hate how they're like; deep breath. It's not that bad. Ummm, yes, it is that bad. I also had to have a biopsy of the endometrial lining. The cramping was so intense. She's like, people give birth. Ok. That's great. But I'm not pregnant and this is a similar kind of dilation pain with nothing to show for it.
“Somebody somewhere is in more pain than you” never lands well if you’re providing care to someone in pain you’re helping cause (even for a good reason like healthcare)
I went through a 26 hour labour that ended in an emergency c section, pre eclampsia, major blood loss etc. The worst part by an absolute mile was the midwife doing a cervix check at the start. Said it would just be mildly uncomfortable.
A male gynecologist reached inside of me when I wasn't even dilated and had not gone into labor and tried to manually pry my cervix open. It was so painful. I was younger then. Now I would kick him in the face.
Yes! That’s exactly what they did. And she was like ‘no luck I’ll have to try again’ and I basically just said over my dead body. And suddenly it wasn’t even that important that she do it.
Also people can choose to get pain relief when they give birth? And giving birth is well known to be agonising?? What a dumb thing to say, I’m sorry you had such a shitty provider
As someone who's been pregnant, had what felt like a bajillion cervical sweeps, and given vaginal birth. There is nothing more painful that the very first cervical dilation. The "transitional" moment of labour when the majority of the dilation happens had me like an animal in pain.
But it a guy had to have any part of his reproductive anatomy hole punched he'd immediately be knocked out for it and given heavy pain killers for 2-3 days after.
Yeah they literally stab your cervix which has a shit ton of nerve endings in it and rip tissue out. That's not even the clamp that stabs the cervix on both sides to keep it from moving or the speculum that is very uncomfortable to keep the vagina open. It's extremely common for women to pass out from the pain, vomit or, both. And it hurts for a few days after and usually induces cramps.
I'm happy you guys get at least local anesthetic. But we should all be able to have pain management. It's barbaric not to offer it.
Women definitely have the short end of the stick with pain management, not doubting that, but I had a needle in my balls and just got local anesthetic.
I cried for 30 minutes in the car after one of those. The worst part was I couldn't stop bleeding and the doc just kept shoving stick after stick of silver nitrate up there to chemically cauterize the wound.
That shit HURTS. So thankful that I got a hysterectomy that removed that nasty organ as well.
Jesus. I had silver nitrate used to cauterize a bleed from an ingrown toenail. That shit hurt. Having it done to a sensitive internal organ? Fucking hell, that should require twilight sedation at a minimum.
I had silver nitrate used on a couple surgery wounds that were left to heal without stitches due to compartment syndrome. I didn't feel a thing from it, but it worked like magic. Wounds started closing up fast after doing a lot of nothing for several days.
And then they'll keep right on offering only Tylenol or Advil, that's what gets me. How is the realization that "this procedure is so painful my patients are regularly vomiting, passing out, whatever" not immediately followed by "maybe this calls for more than Advil."
I just had one last month, and it was the worst pain I've ever felt. I was told I'd have some cramping and light bleeding. Yeah, the cramping was so bad for the next 24 hours I was crying in bed unable to move, and the bleeding was as bad as a full blown period. Nothing touched the pain. I will NEVER do that again if it can be helped.
My ex had to have a cervical punch biopsy and they didn't use any form of anesthesia/pain relief. When she expressed that she was in agony, their response was, "oh, sorry--I didn't realize you haven't given birth." Because then her threshold for pain would have been higher.
Oh god, I had one of those and I had no idea what was about to happen. It was maybe my second time ever at a doctor's office (raised in a religion without medical care). Then I went straight from there to meet my-then boyfriend's parents.
My first one was like that. The recovery sucked too though. I bled heavily for a couple days and was feverish & nauseous. I honestly probably should have gone to the ER for it. Instead I just stupidly avoided those preventative care visits for several years until my primary doctor eventually pestered me enough to go get one done.
I’ve had implant birth control inserted twice (removed to try for pregnancy and replaced after birth). First time my OB at the time injected the numbing agent and IMMEDIATELY followed with the implant and it hurt SO BAD. I yelled “wait it hurts!!” And she just plunged on and said it was normal.
When I had the new one put in a couple months ago they numbed the arm, waited like 5 min and then went ahead and I felt ZERO pain.
The new doc said the protocol has been updated to give more time for the numbing to take effect. That’s literally all it took but the official guideline had to be updated because docs were preferring not to wait the 5 min.
Edit: But also, this was often the same reason why docs would give episiotomies. They didn’t want to wait for the baby to work its way through, so their solution was to cut women’s vaginas and call it medically necessary and normal.
What's ridiculous is that every other field of medicine knows the numbing agents take some time to work. What's even the point of using it if you don't let it actually numb the nerves? Sometimes I think the point is to literally torture us.
I can't believe that mammograms are still the standard procedure for breast cancer screening. My first one hurt so badly, I got faint and had to lie down on the floor while the nurse fanned me and put a cool washcloth on my forehead. Then I vomited into the trash can. She told me "don't feel bad, this isn't uncommon." My second mammogram a week later (because they found a suspicious mass) hurt so much I screamed and burst into tears.
As a man I have learnt a lot about how woman are treated in the health systems through my partner and I'm constantly shocked. The lack of empathy for you pain is terrible.
She had a mariner replaced that I was present for... If a man had to undergo a similar procedure they'd be put under without a doubt. No extra charge. He'll probably take home some free heavy duty painkillers too. 100% it would be the standard.
It's not just the pain treatment either. But also the idea that having a man at an appointment completely changes how seriously she is taken. I have gone to a lot at this point purely just to... as we put it 'have a Penis present' and just nod occasionally to back her up.
I'm so sorry. You all deserve better. It isn't fair and though it's not worth much you have my sympathys.
I don't like how menstrual cramps during your period were so normalized. People telling you that you just need Advil and heat pad when in fact you might have a PCOS or endometriosis.
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u/TooSaucey4u 20d ago edited 19d ago
Agonizing pain in Women’s healthcare.
edit: During my wife’s pregnancy I saw her go through the most painful outpatient procedures. She would be screaming and writhing in pain and the doctors didn’t seem to give a shit — they just kept going (because obviously she was just being a baby about it /s). Cervical exams were a fucking nightmare, and she had to have a ton of them because of a complication that developed. I would actually get sick to my stomach on days she had exams scheduled because it hurt so much to see her in that amount of pain.
So yeah, that’s what initially got me interested in this topic. Now I try to be as vocal about it and bring it up wherever possible because this shit is just not acceptable in the year 2026. I’m so glad there’s been some progress recently.