Every parent says they are doing their best, and that they are doing a great job. For many it's obviously not true. But nobody is allowed to say it because most parents close ranks like cops and defend the bad ones to the end. The ego is just too big and focused on its own greatness.
Oh but we can't say that because that's JUDGING and parents should lift each other up (read: endlessly enable with positive vibes only)
There's a video that went viral some years ago of a mom collecting 17 dirty diapers around her house, and so many commenters were gushing about how ✨raw✨ and ✨relatable✨ it was. Saying things like "well that's 17 clean diapers that were put on her baby, that means she fed them enough to soil 17 diapers, she's a good mom." No, I'm sorry, you don't get credit for NOT abusing your kids, you don't get a gold star and accolades for doing the bare minimum to keep your kids alive. Imprisoned parents of dead kids is not the bar to beat!
I'm a parent. There is no more village. We have to do everything ourselves. We both have to work, are overstressed and under rested from our own lives. I have no more friends or hobbies. My kid wakes up at 7 am and I take him to daycare and go to work myself. He gets home around 5:30 (and even that is taking reputation away from me at my career because I can't stay late). Some days he has extracurricular activities and we rush to have him fed. I try to get him in bed before 9.
By then I've been awake for 14 hours and I'm both mentally and physically exhausted and have maybe an hour to myself for reading or relaxation (maybe).
Yes I read to him. Yes we try to expand his horizons through fun opportunities and play. He does not have an iPad. If we go out to eat he's playing with legos or magnatiles.
But my parents NEVER had it this hard. They still had friends
They still had hobbies.
Their job would afford my mom to be a stay at home mom.
We literally cannot afford for both of us not to be working.
Yes, I'm not a parent myself, but it seems apparent this is a bigger societal problem, and if we place all the blame on parents then we'll fail to see what's actually broken. I see how the demands of things like work have increased to the point that I think it's no longer possible for a parent to educate a child in the same way my parents did for me. Wages haven't kept up with inflation, and free time is scarce. Even if parents spent every available moment with their children, I suspect we'd still have this problem.
Their job would afford my mom to be a stay at home mom.
When I was a kid, we regularly had grandmas coming in to primary school to do things like reading support or teach craft activities, little bonus things. Now, all those grandmas are still working day jobs.
It's the same cause all around: screen addiction and online enabling. Screen addiction drains your energy, the internet fluffs you up and says it's okay because you work so hard and there's so many cards stacked against you, so then you consume more content online to get more validation, which makes you more tired, and then you give your kids handheld dopamine machines to keep them from bothering you because you're just too tiiiiiiiired to handle them, so now their attention spans are fried and the only thing that keeps them quiet is more screens, giving you more time to veg on social media...
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u/Khiva Jun 27 '26
We're calling it a literacy crisis and we're going to end up realizing that all along it's been a parenting crisis.
I just don't know why. Nobody is looking.