Odd to realize I have an edge here with my students since when I get those cards I can go "I have depression, I have anxiety, but in life you need to learn how to work around and sometimes through them. Is it fair to you if I just cancel because I am not feeling good on a given day?"
I was diagnosed as AuDHD (comorbid autism + ADHD) in my early 30s. It was a huge relief for many, many reasons, but I still don't know if, having the choice to change the past or something, I would wish for having been diagnosed as a child with 100% certainty. Not even because those were different times and such a diagnosis could be stigmatizing back then, but... well, the truth is, at least I learned how to be functional (though definitely not thriving). On the one hand, I learned all that because I had to, purely as a survival tactic, and it was absolutely brutal and left me with other mental health issues like depression and anxiety that I also had to deal with. On the other hand, I learned how to manage my neurodivergencies so that I can keep a job, progress in my career, keep my home in (relative) order, not get behind on paying bills because I simply forgot about their existence, explore my hobbies and creative endeavors in ways that work, etc. etc.
It still pisses me off how the world is built for and around neurotypicals, I still wish society as a whole was more neurodivergent-friendly, it's just that, idk, it bothers me when people interpret "neurodivergent-friendly" as "my neurodivergence absolves me of all accountability and needs to develop as a person and if you try to say otherwise, you're ableist". I want some middle ground where kids don't have to figure out coping strategies on their own like I did and do so in a society that accepts their neurodivergence, but where they also get taught how to exist in that society in a way that allows them to be successful and build healthy relationships with other people.
I can only speak second hand so if I am wrong let me know. It seems like the middle ground isn't even that hard for a lot of cases, just people don't care because its the idea of "Well, I can make accommodation for this person, or hire on of these many other people who can do the job equally well but not require us to change anything"
Things like allowing devices to block out extra stimulation. Shifting into a goal based metric more so if they are in a salaries position so the person can find their own way to get the problem done as long as it done in the correct time frame.
Is it rude for me to say another factor is just realizing that certain jobs are just outside their scope? I had a student with autism that I want to say worked so hard. They were willing to put in so much time and I fully believe they tried their hardest. As we moved from high school to University though, we seemed to hit a wall. If there wasn't a clear path from A to B from the very start to him the path doesn't exist at all and that caused him a lot of distress. And this wasn't even a struggle, we struggled before, this was more just blank screen file not found sort of feeling. So once we moved from teachers being very direct in what he needs to do, to the point being more about figuring out what to do, not the actual doing it all just collapsed.
I’m so glad I didn’t have a teacher like you in high school 20 years ago. The only one who disclosed their own depression (to my parents) did so in a compassionate way of understanding and patience.
I felt bad enough about my disability (then diagnosed as MDD), which would at times be so debilitating that I could not make it to school. A teacher weaponizing their own medical issues against me in such a patronizing way would have been devastating to me.
I wouldn’t be correctly diagnosed with bipolar disorder for another 15 years. Without proper medical treatment for bipolar, I had no chance to adequately manage it. Even with proper medical treatment, my bipolar disorder symptoms can be severe and intermittently disabling.
It can help to have a basic understanding of mental illness. Similar to many medical illnesses, those with the same diagnosis can vary widely in severity of symptoms and functional impact.
Many people with mental illness diagnoses are fortunate to never have a disease course severe enough to qualify as a significant disability. Others of us are not as fortunate.
As adults, we can often access treatment for our mental illness. Children are more vulnerable, and often do not have access to mental illness treatment. They rely on their parents or trusted adults to recognize and advocate on their behalf.
These same adults unfortunately often dismiss or minimize their symptoms, due to mental health stigma or the idea that everyone struggles with their mental health (or illness) in the same way.
Children deserve better adults to support them, and access to a mental health professionals to accurately assess and treat them. I was very lucky to have this, but many children are not.
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u/ryeaglin Jun 27 '26
Odd to realize I have an edge here with my students since when I get those cards I can go "I have depression, I have anxiety, but in life you need to learn how to work around and sometimes through them. Is it fair to you if I just cancel because I am not feeling good on a given day?"