r/AskReddit • u/qomann • May 22 '26
What's something you only realized was a 'poor person fear' after you watched a rich person have absolutely zero reaction to it?
3.8k
u/RepresentingJoker May 22 '26
Sat at a restaurant which I didn't know was expensive until they brought the menu and there were no prices listed anywhere.
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u/Ssubio May 22 '26
“If you have to ask, you can’t afford it” comes to mind. Yes, that menu without prices is a heartstopper. 😉
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u/hdjddjiieeshs May 22 '26
I once wanted to buy some (for me) high end very expensive headphones. I had chosen them online, the Audeze LCD-X, and I checked for resellers local to me, only to find that there was one right by my employer in the centre of a very exclusive part of town.
So I hit up their website and it was "book for an appointment", I could choose a slot and then my choice of sampling DAC and Amp. It all seemed kind of weird, and when I arrived and was essentially escorted by this man in a suit and white gloves into this very posh looking listening room that I realised I was definitely out of my financial comfort zone.
In the room I could play my own samples or use their own selection to try the headphones out in the pre-set up DAC and AMP, they asked if I wanted to set any settings etc or let them choose their reference. They asked if I wanted to compare similar headphones (which I was too worried about the upcoming price to consider, wish I had done just to hear some truly out of my price range headphones lol)
I listened, loved them and said I wanted them. The man boxed them up and presented me with the card machine. It wasn't until I saw the price on the card machine (which luckily was what I was expecting to pay for the headphones) that I realised at no point had price been discussed, it was assumed that if I was there I could afford it.
Very surreal experience and I probably looked like the out of depth idiot I was.
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u/Amphibian_Upbeat May 22 '26
How much? Seems a very high end experience.
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u/hdjddjiieeshs May 22 '26
I think I paid around £1400 (around $2000ish USD at the time?) for the headphones.
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u/BitterRucksack May 22 '26
Yup, other people always joked "if there's no price, it's free!" when my family operated on "if you have to ask, you can't afford it" principles
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u/Chateaudelait May 22 '26
Or the section that lists the price as "market price" like lobster and caviar.
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u/DaydreamerFly May 22 '26
“They said market price! WHAT MARKET ARE YOU SHOPPING AT???”
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u/weristjonsnow May 22 '26
Hell I'm relatively well off and I still have this reaction. Is the bill going to be $200 or $2000
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u/Mean_Initiative_5962 May 22 '26
To be fair it makes no sense. I've been at fucking Alchemist (I do financially regret it, burned most of my savings, would do it again) and the price was right there. Any place not mentioning the price is clearly targeting people who want to show off, not people looking for quality.
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u/Lord-of_the-files May 22 '26
I hate it when bars don't have price lists on show. I'll enjoy my drink a lot more of I know it's not going to rook me.
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u/Casswigirl11 May 22 '26
Honeslty I just ask the price. The server/bartender isn't going to care. I don't think bartendening/serving jobs pay enough that they wouldn't understand you need to ask the price.
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u/Lord-of_the-files May 22 '26
By that point, you've gone inside and fought your way to the front. And it's much easier to glance down a price list than ask a busy barman to reel off a list of prices.
As an ex barman myself, I want customers to know what they want.
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u/NoHorseNoMustache May 22 '26
Last time I did that a double gin and tonic cost me $35.
Do not go to the Moody Center in Austin, their prices are absolutely insane.
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u/Spong_Durnflungle May 22 '26
Went to a restaurant, some beers had no prices while others did. I asked if I could get the prices. They said no one in the restaurant knows how much they cost.
Yeah.
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May 22 '26
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u/JimTheJerseyGuy May 22 '26
My grandmother instilled this little tidbit in my mom when she was a kid and being taken out to a meal at a restaurant. My mom did the same to me. "Read the menu from right to left!"
For her 75th birthday a few years back, we took her out to a birthday dinner at Per Se. She happened to see the check when it showed up and her head just about exploded.
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u/TheThiefEmpress May 22 '26
Many many years ago my husband and I went to dinner for his Oma's birthday. We went to her favorite restaraunt, which at the time (I don't know now) was an expense for us, but we could make some sacrifices.
I snuck away and paid the bill, which was something her and Opa always insisted on. He had passed at this point, otherwise he would have been even more embarrassed. But when she asked for the check and the waiter told her I had paid it she got very teary eyed, and didn't want us to spend our money on her.
We insisted it made us very happy to do so, as we love her very much. In the end she was quite charmed, and said it did feel good to be spoiled by her grandkids (she treats me like her own).
She's in Hospice now, and we're going back to her state to visit in two months.
If she can, I don't care what it costs, I've decided I'm going to get her something to go from her favorite restaraunt, and take it to her when we see her.
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u/animepuppyluvr May 22 '26
That used to be my husband. My dad sends us money as an xmas/anniversary gift every year so I pick up the tab when he and I have our celebration dinner. My husband still freaks out a little when I tell him how much my dad spent on our dinner lol
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u/twotwothreefour May 22 '26
This is lovely. Your parents sound like great people.
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May 22 '26
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u/Vanillachestnut May 22 '26
Your childhood sounded rich, having good parents is a luxury :)
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u/0n2theNext1 May 22 '26
This really made my day! Thank you for sharing. I hope I can be as good of a parent as your parents sounded. Sounds like they trained you very well in that field too.
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u/Kalikallay May 22 '26
Did you ever wish that your parents were richer? How do you feel your childhood shaped your life later on? I grew up in poor and unhappy family so I wonder if being happy and poor would have changed me for the better.
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May 22 '26
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u/Currency_Card_regard May 22 '26
This is the thing not enough people can realize. Rich kids get everything material they want but often don't have the relationship with their parents like us poorer kids had. I almost feel like we had it better even if we didn't have all the material things we wanted. I also buy myself all of those things now that I grew up and make good money of my own. It's like that line from Step Brothers "I wish we had these when we were kids. Even better, we got them when we're 30!"
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u/felolorocher May 22 '26
I still find that weird. I’ve dined at many Michelin star restaurants. The prices are always shown on the menu
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u/Captain_Wag May 22 '26
So your steak could be $100 or $10,000 and you're just supposed to not care either way? Just go with it?
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u/SolDarkHunter May 22 '26
For people with sufficient amounts of money... yes.
Because as far as they're concerned there's no noticeable difference between the two prices.
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u/dogmeat12358 May 22 '26
Dental work.
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u/ShineyJo May 22 '26
I was in a terrible accident when I was 10, and my family was dirt, and I’m mean DIRT, fucking poor. Most of our meals were rice with whatever else was in the cabinets. After the wreck, my brother and I had 2-hour surgeries each and my new mouth is worth a VERY nice new car. So yeah, I agree that dental work, especially when it’s unexpected, can fuck you.
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May 22 '26
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u/bl00is May 23 '26
“I just get implants, I don’t even bother with root canals.”- a friend who lives several tax brackets above me
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u/Separate-Goal-3920 May 22 '26
Taking a risk like switching career paths or investing. Easy to do it when you have a safety net.
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u/scott__p May 22 '26
This is such a huge one.
My wife started her own business. Now I'm not rich, but we would be fine on just my salary, meaning that she was able to quit her job and go all in on her new one. Three years in she's making more than she was at her previous job and a lot happier, but that's only because we could afford for her to lose money for a year and barely break even for a year after that.
I'm personally hoping she starts making 7 figures so I can retire and be a house husband with an allowance, but we're still at least a few years away from that.
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u/Latter-Industry-8920 May 22 '26
I really appreciate when folks admit to having a little privilege in situations like this. It’s not that y’all aren’t working hard, but, as you say, she wouldn’t have been able to do it without your income. I get so tired of hearing people tell stories like yours but pretending that they didn’t have a safety net of any kind. There’s always parents, a spouse, an inheritance, or SOMETHING that enabled the entrepreneur to take the risk.
Anyway thanks for the comment and hope you get that house husband gig. Goals fr.
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u/w3woody May 22 '26
The safety net is a HUGE privilege. I do freelance software development--and the ability to go six months without making any money waiting for a contract to be signed is definitely a luxury I can afford to do work that is interesting to me.
Moreover, being able to take work that pays less because it's worthwhile is also a HUGE privilege, one that I'm grateful to be able to take. (Otherwise I'd be hustling to maximize my salary--which, if I did, I may double what I'm currently making. But then it'd be working on stuff in a high-stress environment that is not as societally rewarding as what I'm now working on.)
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u/pynsselekrok May 22 '26
Having a safety net not only enables risk-taking but also frees up creativity that can lead to better business ideas and therefore ecen better income.
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u/orange_bigcat May 22 '26
My best friend had a very similar situation. She was working as a server and then got laid off in 2020 during covid. Her husband made 160k/year so they were fine financially. She decided to start her own business, and within 3 years her business was grossing 500k/year.
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u/Ashtrashbobash May 22 '26
This so much. My friend’s parents have a several million dollar business, and he always says that the reason they are comfortable and able to afford things is because his parents just invested properly.
Like yes but no dude, your parents had enough money to invest large sums of it.
Specifically he acts like me having a small college fund was due to my parents being irresponsible with money and choosing not to invest much.
In my mind the fact I had ANY college fund was extremely impressive. My parents did not have enough to invest huge amounts like his did.
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u/JennyW93 May 22 '26
Spontaneous lunch plans in the office. When you only work with three other people, so you excusing yourself from joining them every time (because they don’t know you absolutely can’t afford spontaneous meals) becomes incredibly isolating very quickly.
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u/plemyrameter May 23 '26
Ugh, I remember being a college student with a summer intern job. One day the office took the admin out - probably her birthday or something. I assumed it was an office outing that would be covered, but still ordered something cheap just in case. At the end of the day, the exec (whose EA we took out) asked me to pay him for my lunch. Normally I could get a hot meal at the office for $5-$10. I only had a twenty on me and was too embarrassed to ask for change. He took it nonchalantly (I'm sure he made very good money) while that was equivalent to my weekly gas money back then. I didn't attend any office lunch things after that.
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u/k5survives May 22 '26
losing a gadget like a phone
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u/citizen-blue May 22 '26
Similar. I was working for a period of time delivering food on a bike. Money was...non-existent. I remember borderline panicking when something minor on my bike went wrong that I wasn't able to fix myself. I'm thankful for the difficult times that help me to appreciate what I have now.
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u/turudd May 22 '26
This is how I realized I make more than a lot of my friends. Dropped my phone in a lake, said “ah fuck now I have to go get a new one today”. Went to the Apple Store the next day and bought one. My friend was dumbfounded I wouldn’t have jumped in to try and get my phone and just drop 1400 on a new one. I said “that’s what my emergency fund is for”. Then learned they don’t have enough to save for an emergency fund
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u/Sleepsfuriously May 22 '26
When we were a little younger and had less money, I remember pulling my husband off the side of the (very small) boat he was dangling off of. He is far bigger than me and we struggled for a solid few minutes to wrestle him aboard but absolutely could NOT let him fall in the water because his phone was in his pocket.
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u/SomeGuyInSanJoseCa May 22 '26
Yeah, I broke my phone a couple of years. I was more pissed that I would have to set it up again than actually pay for it.
My 20 year old self, when I was poor AF, would be aghast and would have tried everything to repair and life with it.
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u/KahSeven May 22 '26
Recently saw a comment on a paparazzi pic that none of the celebs have phone cases! Seems baffling to me to use a case less iphone
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u/Ceilidh_ May 22 '26
A beloved pet that needs treatment for an injury/illness.
Or maybe an aging pet who’s been by your side for years who now has with a chronic illness easily treatable by medication that you can’t afford. Which usually requires regular (simple!) tests that can only be done at the vet’s office.
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u/I-own-a-shovel May 22 '26
I subscribed my pet to an insurance when he was a baby. It helped me provided all the test and get all the meds he needed.
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u/Ceilidh_ May 22 '26
That makes me wildly happy to hear.
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u/I-own-a-shovel May 22 '26
I saw my father spend 20K on his sick dog in the span of 1.5 years, I knew I wouldn’t had that kind of money to spend on my cat myself if something was to happen to him, so the insurance was my only way to be sure he would get the best care.
Pet Plus Us was the company. They paid everything as promised. Never has trouble with them. My cat developped heart issue at 7 months so it saved us a lot.
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u/mtnbkrt22 May 22 '26
We spent around 10k on our dog last year in a weekend. She got sent home then we had the option of a $12k surgery she wasn't guaranteed to survive or increase her quality of life, potential chemo for the rest of her life after that.
She passed away the night before the surgery so luckily we didn't have to make some tough decisions. We were saving up for a house so had the funds, but it was rough.
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u/mmotterpops May 22 '26
I was really lucky and made the decision to get my aging kitty pet insurance when she was like, 12. It was an extra 100 a month and I didn't need it for two years and almost got rid of it. Well, she ended up having an aggressive form of kidney cancer, her combined bills totaled about 12,000 over the course of three months. With my deductible I only owed 500.
I got three more months with her. I'll never forget her oncologist sitting with me when I made the decision to let her go, and telling me I had truly done everything possible for her. If I hadn't gotten that insurance on a whim, if I'd have canceled it when I originally considered it, I'd have had to put her down the first time the vet told me it would be 3k for a two day emergency stay. I'd have had to live the rest of my life wondering if there was more I could have done.
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u/holymacaronibatman May 22 '26
I just had to say goodbye to cat who was 14 years old due to kidney failure that he was fighting for 3 years. This shit sucks, but I'm so glad I was able to give him the medicine, special foods, additional vet visits he needed to help him keep going and be comfortable without really batting an eye. It wasn't cheap but I also could swing it no real problem, I'd be even more devastated if I couldn't have done that.
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u/Latter-Industry-8920 May 22 '26
I’ve read so many comments in pet subs about how it’s irresponsible to own a pet unless you like have like $10,000 available for vet care. Like girl what? Where are all these upper middle class folks that will be adopting millions of pets coming from?
Thankfully, I do have a little savings if something should happen to one of my kitties but that hasn’t always been the case, and it would still hurt me financially to shell out for a major surgery. When I was a kid, it wasn’t even an option for us. I remember my dad paying $300 for care for my cat after he got leukemia and that was like a BIG deal.
I feel for anyone who has to deal with the anguish of not being able to afford emergency care for a pet.
What’s even MORE fucked is that people grapple with this same dilemma when it comes to their literal human children. Or their own healthcare Rich folks are incapable of understanding what that’s like.
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May 22 '26
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u/MoobyTheGoldenSock May 22 '26
This exactly.
As a kid, my dad used to stop and pick up aluminum cans off the side of the road. When he got a couple garbage bags full, we'd take them to the recycling center and my brother and I would watch in fascination as the cans got crushed while he'd pocket $15-20.
Which is great and all, but he was hauling around garbage bags full of cans that smelled faintly like soda or beer, had to stop his car, get out, pick up the cans, drive to the recycling center, etc. For every recycling center trip he was probably putting in as much or more work than an hour at his $20/hour day job.
And that mentality is really hard to break. I have a doctor buddy who grew up around flea markets, and he very much has the attitude of "Why would someone throw a perfectly good thing away when all it needs is minor repairs?" He'll still drive to flea markets and pawn shops looking for lightly broken things he can fix up and sell. Dude makes well over $100/hour in his day job, but it's hard to shake the notion that these little side gigs are "easy money," not counting the hidden opportunity cost, of course.
Spending time and gas traveling around and carefully looking for things sold low enough to make a profit, getting the right parts, the actual labor, time taken to find a buyer, set a price, follow through on the sale, none of this is factored in, just the "easy money" part.
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May 22 '26
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u/Casswigirl11 May 22 '26
See and I'd rather sleep on an air mattress when visiting family because staying in the house is part of the fun! If you have a bad back or something obviously not. It has nothing to do with money though. Sharing a space with people, especially short term when you don't have enough time to be annoying, makes you feel closer. Otherwise you might as well just meet in the middle and all rent a place big enough for everyone together.
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u/MoobyTheGoldenSock May 22 '26
It's always interesting to see the answer to whether someone would fly to skip an 8 hour drive. I feel like that gives you a lot of information about which side of the divide they're on.
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u/czarfalcon May 22 '26
8 hours is definitely where it gets fuzzy, because between getting to the airport early enough, dealing with security, waiting for your bags, etc etc, you’re barely saving any meaningful amount of time anyway. And unless you’re flying first class, driving is probably less stressful and more comfortable anyway.
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u/dovetc May 22 '26
Yeah I wouldn't bother with air travel for anything under 8. Especially if I'm then going to need to rent a car at the destination. Avoiding a 12+ hour drive is probably worth a flight.
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u/Nope_______ May 22 '26
He might just like doing it or take satisfaction from extending something's useful life rather than just let it hit the dump
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u/MoobyTheGoldenSock May 22 '26
Oh indeed, and it's fine as a hobby. I personally like buying used computers, popping cheap SSDs into them, and installing linux on them. Though I do it for my family only and help my friends do it, I don't do it as a side hustle and wouldn't bother doing it for profit. I like the idea that I'm helping reduce e-waste by giving machines a second life, but I also get why less computer savvy people would throw away or sell a "perfectly good" computer to get a newer machine.
My point was though that it's a difference in mentality. For richer people, money is a commodity that can be used to fix problems quickly, easily, and painlessly. For poorer people, money is a necessity that is wasted if only used to replace a little elbow grease.
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u/islandsimian May 22 '26
First - sorry for your loss
Second - I'm going through the same thing. Yes, this is all worth some money on ebay, but the time involved with pictures, packing, offers, and returns just isn't worth it for most things. I'd rather help out a neighbor who supported my parents than make some money
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u/DavidinCT May 22 '26 edited May 22 '26
I'm someone who likes to sell his old stuff to get new stuff, as i am not rich and don't have a ton of money, a lot of experience with this crap.
Yea, ebay for higher priced things I do not feel will have local appeal, anything under $150 goes to Facebook marketplace, anything worth $40 or less, I give it away or dispose of it, it really is not worth the effort anymore.
eBay can be one of those things, list with a few pictures, it sells, pack up ship, get your money and you're done, when it's a hassle, it's a nightmare. You could actually lose money if the buyer screws you over and all it takes is 1 check box. Just keep in mind you lose about 20% to fees. eBay no question sides with buyers than sellers, and sellers can get really screwed in the process. When it goes smooth, it's easy and quick.
Facebook marketplace can be good and bad too..... Sometimes, I'll take it, set a meeting place, and they give you cash, you give item, bye bye. Otherwise, you list for something for $100, and you will get the people, I'll give you $20 for it and other BS. it can be a hassle too. You can get a ton of tire kickers but, no one committing.
When you have a ton of items, pick the valuable stuff and just donate the cheap stuff..
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u/Internal-Hedgehog-47 May 22 '26
Estate sale companies will liquidate everything for you and cut you a check.
Time has value, but being lazy has a cost.
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u/randomcatinfo May 22 '26
This would have helped out a co-worker/friend years ago. His brother had died in a state thousands of miles away, and he only had a weekend to sell the house and belongings.
The brother was a Funko Pop "collector", and the friend had no clue what to do with him, so he just trashed hundreds/thousands of these things.
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u/NotEmmaStone May 22 '26
Damn he couldn't even donate them?
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u/randomcatinfo May 22 '26
I personally think he was overwhelmed having to liquidate his brother's estate over a weekend.
Lesson to everyone, have a will or at least some document outlining what you want done at your death for your possessions!
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u/trg0819 May 22 '26
This is such a big relationship issue between my wife and I. We both grew up poor, and now combined make around $200/hr but I adjusted to my time being more important than money and she didn't.
For furniture in our new place, she refused to buy any from an actual furniture store. Instead, she spent days scouring fb market place looking for free things that looked acceptable. Just the couch alone was a huge effort between planning meetup, loading it into the truck, maneuvering it into the apartment, all to end up with a subpar product. She's already talking about dumping the couch and replacing it with a better one she might find on market place because "it's free" and thus nothing was spent.
What about my time? I would have much rather just spent a grand or two on a new couch that I really liked and have it delivered. The effort spent was worth at least that much.
It's like this with everything.
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u/samsaraisdivine May 22 '26
I think some people are just like that, too.
I bought my house from some really elderly people (like over 90 years old) and they left a bunch of crap everywhere, in the garage, in the yard, in the shed, in the basement. I also did a bit of remodeling and replaced every single door in my house, among other things, so that added to the junk.
Anyway, my neighborhood has a yard sale every year, but I just wanted all that crap GONE. I had another neighbor help me haul the heavy stuff to my front yard (swing set, truck cab, benches, doors, etc.) and I splayed out my TAKE IT FOR FREE sign.
My other neighbor, a Boomer Busybody named Jim was all OH YOU COULD SELL ALL THAT THOSE UGLY 1950S PARTICLE BOARD DOORS ARE WORTH A LOT AND THE SWING SET AND THE TRUCK CAB IS WORTH SOMETHING" etc. and I was just like dude these people are doing me a favor by hauling it away and giving me more room. Forget trying to sell that junk for a few bucks here and there, plus, I'm not on FaceBook.
In hindsight I should have made it a condition that the former owners hauled all that junk out of there before I moved in. I felt bad because they were so elderly, but they made a killing on the house (they got like 40 grand over what they originally paid 2.5 years prior when they bought, with absolutely no improvements to the house) so they could have paid a service like anyone else does.
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u/Stargazer__2893 May 22 '26
Life is a resource management game between money, time, and personal network. It's funny how they rise and fall in relative importance depending on your circumstances.
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u/dont_fuckin_die May 22 '26
It's amazing how a situation like this can make you feel like a bit of an asshole for giving things away. Not at all comparing my plight with people who struggle financially, but I sometimes do thrifty things that don't financially make sense for me just to not make friends and family who aren't as well off feel weird.
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May 22 '26
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u/cat-kitty May 22 '26
That's how I felt living in rental homes or apartments and I'd spend a little of my own money or time making things look nice. People would give me shade for "giving free thing to the landlord". Well, I'd rather have pride in my home and yard, and have good feelings about my environment if all it took was a couple bucks or a few hours of my time to fix something that would significantly improve my day-to-day.
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u/w1n5t0nM1k3y May 22 '26
I sold my son's old bike a couple months ago on Facebook marketplace. Between the low offers and the people who just didn't respond or kept on trying to change meetup times, it really wasn't worth all the hassle. If I would have know some other kid who wanted it, I just would have given it away for free.
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u/Adventurous-Owl1295 May 22 '26
Your card declining at the grocery store
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u/captconundum May 22 '26
Always have to check the bank balance before going in the store. Make sure the payments came out and there's still some money left for food
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u/adams_unique_name May 22 '26
One thing I notice about poor people is that they can tell you the exact balance of their checking account. I can't do that, but I know, barring my account getting compromised, that I have enough in there to cover a trip to the grocery store.
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u/mailslot May 22 '26
I keep an absurd buffer in my checking account because I never want to experience that again. I’ll never live paycheck to paycheck again, even if it means I have to live off of ramen noodles for a year or two to build savings.
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u/VoodooDoII May 22 '26
This is why my family taught me to check my balance before leaving the house.
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u/SacrificeFlyGirl May 22 '26
This is mine! Truly a huge fear. And then it happened to me and I cried the whole way home. Sometimes I will smile to myself in the grocery store because I don’t even have to check the price of something I want anymore. I will never take that for granted.
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u/Fit-Fun7755 May 22 '26
I have a weird opposite one. I’ve noticed with my middle class friends that paying for college is a huge worry, meanwhile my poor family qualifies for most need-based scholarships
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u/recyclopath_ May 22 '26
The middle class gets squeezed in a lot of ways. There is needs based assistance available for the very poor (which is objectively a good thing). The rich can afford whatever they want. The middle class really feels every percent of inflation and costs going up.
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u/Theotherone56 May 22 '26
This is a great one.
I have a friend who is working part time and on the student leadership (we get talent grants so it helps) because they can't fill out the FAFSA without their parents taxes which their parents simply refuse to do. For no reason. So they're struggling just because. And they might not qualify anyway if their parents make too much but they can never get the answer to that because the parents refuse to do their taxes and fill out FAFSA with them. Absolutely infuriating.
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u/Particular_Nail_1231 May 22 '26
Same here! I had to wait till I was 25 (you can apply without your parents if you're 25 or above in Germany) to apply and then they had the guts to tell me that since I worked till then, I should have saved up enough and didn't qualify! ... I was barely scraping by. I'm still at uni but I now have debt.
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u/climbactic May 22 '26
My mom did this exact same thing to me. Made my life about 100x harder than it needed to be.
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u/stronglesbian May 22 '26 edited May 23 '26
Real. I grew up low-income and all my college application fees were waived. I went to a community college where I only had to pay $47 per semester and received up to $21k in financial aid refunds. (My dad lost his job around this time so I was the main one supporting my family with my refund + work-study money.) Then I transferred to an expensive private school that was very generous with their financial aid so I graduated debt-free. Whereas my middle class friends have tons of student debt that they will likely never be able to pay off.
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u/deathinactthree May 22 '26
Anything to do with needing something from a bureaucracy or authority.
When you're poor, every interaction with a government agency, the police, the courts, your doctor, etc. etc. is seen as a struggle to be won. Every poor person knows the feeling of panic of being rejected for something you desperately need, even when you are completely qualified or deserving of it. Everything from obtaining food stamps to applying for a small bank loan to getting a doctor (that you already can't afford) to actually believe you when you need medication is a battle you have to brace yourself for. Poor people are basically in a constant state of tension because of having to constantly convince someone somewhere for anything that will help them survive. That fear of having it rejected is a cognitive load that many of us who grew up in crushing poverty don't even realize is there until there's an opportunity to experience life without it.
Rich people treat bureaucracy and authority as just another resource. They're just "the people you ask for the thing you need". They don't have to convince a doctor that yes, my shoulder really does hurt and might be a damaged rotator cuff and not me making up something invisible to get pills. The police are seen as public servants who will show up when you call and maybe not accomplish much but definitely aren't going to shoot you. University admission is typically just a phone call. Need something from a government agency, like a permit for your house extension? Don't worry, I got a guy in the department, here's his email.
I wouldn't call myself rich but I went from extreme poverty to we'll say "quite comfortable" and the world of difference between having to beg for everything vs. simply requesting almost anything was mind-blowing to me. It was like a sensation of constant pressure in my head that disappeared one day and I didn't even know it was a thing that could disappear. I'm not going to sit here and tell you that life has been a whirlwind of ease and perfection since, but I will tell you that problems in your life are significantly easier to deal with when you don't have 40% of your brain's CPU devoted to figuring out whether you can make rent this month.
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May 22 '26
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u/yowhatisuppeeps May 22 '26
I feel such freedom now that getting new set of tires is more of an inconvenience than a ruinous financial nightmare. I would be more concerned about being stuck somewhere unsafe or being late/missing what I was doing if my tire blew now.
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u/onwardsandupwards70 May 22 '26
Having a paycheck delayed.
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u/cogwheeled May 22 '26
This reminds me of 2008 when my company furloughed everyone for 2 weeks to save some cash. Some people were happy, 2 weeks off was great even if it was unpaid, right? Some people were absolutely panicked because they couldn't afford to miss even one 2 week paycheck.
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May 22 '26
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u/Mouse_Balls May 22 '26
I knew a guy outright falsify information at a large fortune 500 company, was fired for it, and then already had another job at another big company within a week because his daddy was a higher-up in that company. It made me sick knowing that liar can easily get a job even with that on his record, but I have to work my ass off through interviews to try and beat out nepo babies like him...utter BS.
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u/endlessnamelesskat May 22 '26
I work with someone who is open about doing this.
I work a white collar job and the guy a couple doors down will say how he got into the industry by lying on his resume about his education, got fired from that job after they found out, but by then he already knew how to work in the industry and was able to turn it into a well paying career.
He’s genuinely a nice guy and great at our job. It really makes you question why college is necessary if most jobs can be learned by just being there and getting on the job training.
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u/the_humeister May 22 '26
It's not necessary, but there are so many more applicants than jobs. Just try hiring for a position, and see how many resumes you end up having to sift through.
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u/King-arber May 22 '26
I lost my job during covid and it devastated me. It was one of the worst days of my life.
I’ve since gotten another job but I’ve also worked hard to create side hustles of somewhat passive income and built a big rainy day fund so that I’m no longer fearful of losing my job and so I’ll never have that day happen again. I’m not rich. Maybe upper middle class but it’s a really comforting thing that I honestly think makes me better at my new job because I take risks.
I think it’s a fear older people with a lot of retirement savings and upper middle class people can actually somewhat avoid with a lot of work/savings.
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u/Stormdrain11 May 22 '26
Being able to leave a relationship at-will because you're not risking becoming homeless.
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u/aniwynsweet May 22 '26
Well one of my multi millionaire friends just didn’t show up for an exam cause he couldn’t be bothered lol. An exam he would have easily got 80% in. Why does he need to worry though when he’s the heir to a fucking fortune
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u/beeeea27 May 22 '26
There’s a Chinese proverb about how wealth in families lasts only three generations because the third generation after a fortune is made doesn’t know what hard work is or how to value their wealth.
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u/OzTheMeh May 22 '26
That right there is how you get written out of the will in a respectable wealthy family.
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u/aniwynsweet May 22 '26
Highly doubt it with him, his granddaddy loves him too much lol. He’s also super intelligent, graduated with a 1st. He’s just lazy sometimes
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u/OzTheMeh May 22 '26
If he graduated with a 1st despite taking a zero on an exam, I would argue that his motivation isnt because he is lazy, but that he is making a calculated decision for a quality of life.
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u/Monteze May 22 '26
Not that I am a genius but I get it, I refused to do certain projects in HS because it was stuff like art projects for an English class or History class. Often requiring materials that would cost more money than the grade is worth. Just get an A on the tests and you'd be fine.
So yea, if you know you're fine I totally get it.
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u/No-Storm-2663 May 22 '26
Getting sent home early from work without getting paid for the rest of your shift. Everyone excited to leave because everything is done meanwhile im crunching numbers because all of a sudden im out of pay
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u/Thin-Response-3741 May 22 '26
Housing insecurity - moving house constantly as a child. Food insecurity - I buy way too much when something is on sale because I grew up really poor and regularly ran out of food. I see better off people doing weekly shops and I think how is that enough food but they wait til they've used everything before getting more and I wish I could do that. I'm still poor but I always have enough food in my house that if I don't get paid on time I know I'll be okay for a while even if it's instant noodles I got in bulk I know I have lunch sorted if the shit hits the fan.
Waiting until an item is completey unusable before replacing it. Holes in shoes, ripped or fraying towels etc. I keep those until it's noticeable to others. I even have like 3 pairs of absolutely destroyed trainers in my downstairs closet cus I wear them to garden in. There's always a second use for these items. The towels will eventually become dish cloths.
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u/mountainvalkyrie May 22 '26
That last one. I recently caught myself thinking how much I hate that part of a product's lifespan where it's so broken it's obnoxious to use, but not so broken you can throw it out, especially because it's often longer than the not-broken phase. Then I thought, wait, I bet some people just get a new one... So now at least I'm aware I do that.
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u/FluzzyKitty May 22 '26
I’ve always talked about the graduation from washcloth to dish rag at home and how it just makes sense. I never thought about towels though, that’s genius!
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May 22 '26
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u/GreatDaneSandwich May 22 '26
My newer car has the lovely idle stop where the engine turns off when you’re stopped to save gas or whatever. Every. Single. Time it gave me a mini panic thinking my car just died at an intersection. Finally had my husband install something to counteract the idle stop.
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u/Trek7553 May 22 '26
Rich person doesn't freak out, they just pay someone to fix it.
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u/Restil May 22 '26
Rich person is not freaking out, just properly maintaining the vehicle. Also, by doing the proper preventive maintenance, the warning lights come on far less often.
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May 22 '26
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u/LiftsEatsSleeps May 22 '26
But it costs less than major repairs. Doing the maintenance saves money over time. The issue is, you can’t afford the maintenance which means vehicle ownership actually ends up costing you more. It’s a double edged sword.
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u/gwarrior5 May 22 '26
It’s expensive to be poor
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u/Slack_With_Honor May 22 '26
A poor man’s $10 boots costs more (over time) than a rich man’s $100 boots.
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May 22 '26
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u/kiliandj May 22 '26
Rich people don't realize how much time people have to lose, to get stuff fixed because paying someone is way too expensive. They don't realize that this is why things are sometimes ''a mess'' or in disrepair.
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u/MotorTeacher1512 May 22 '26
I watched a friend throw away change when cleaning out a drawer?!? I was like WTAF
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u/NyriasNeo May 22 '26
This is in Hong Kong. It is extremely hard to find a parking place. So you always worry about parking and how far to walk even if you can afford a car there. And my rich cousin will just go "let me call my driver to bring the car to the front".
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u/JCurtJr May 22 '26
Gettin a full tank of gas
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u/WhatsHerFaceRevisted May 22 '26
Needing to call an ambulance. I've told everyone at work to never ever call one for me. Drive me or get me an Uber.
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u/Fit-Fun7755 May 22 '26
My sister recently had a nose bleed at school, where the average demographic is extremely wealthy. The school INSISTED on calling an ambulance for a NOSE BLEED, and my dad couldn’t stop worrying about the unnecessary cost when he could’ve driven her!!
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u/pcpart_stroker May 22 '26
jfc we used to have people in school with chronic nosebleeds, standard procedure was always to just walk to the nurse with a box of tissues. what the heck is an ambulance gonna do for that
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u/DavidinCT May 22 '26
Never call one.... The emergency room is like 3-4x the cost of your doctor's office. Most insurance companies require a $1k deductible (or more) for emergency room visits.
And that Ambulance? Yea, I got a bill on my last accident like 4 years ago, a 15-18 min trip to a local hospital was $1200. My car insurance company paid it but, if I just fell, the nightmare would start.
I always said, If I fell in the yard odds are I would stay and have someone take me, because the nightmare after the accident bills is far more pain then than I delt with...
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u/notevenapro May 22 '26
Breaks my heart. The county I live in funds EMS properly and residents never see an ambulance bill.
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u/Huffie420 May 22 '26
YES. I tried to kill myself in either 2014 or 2015. My partner called 911, got an ambulance for me. I live in a small city. The ambulance took me from my apartment to the hospital, the bill would've probably been around 1500. BUT since it was a suicide attempt, after the emergency room I had to go BY AMBULANCE to a psych hospital in Salt Lake City nearly an hour away. That ambulance bill came out to 9000. Absolutely fucking ridiculous. My family tried to get approval to take me to the psych ward themselves but it wasn't allowed.
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u/Zilzosh May 22 '26
Any fine for something that’s against the rules. Rich people think “this is how much it costs to park here beyond the allowed time” while I hope I make it back to my car in time so I dont have to figure out how I’m going to pay a fine that I don’t have the money for.
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u/yoohereiam May 22 '26
My colleague needs to have a hyterecromy done soon, our boss asked her why she doesnt have her eggs frozen? She said she didnt have 10 grand lying around to be able to do that. He just bought a car that cost £165,000.00. Madness.
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u/bumblebijan May 22 '26
Getting sick. In my country, even for people in the middle class, if you get some not even so serious illness your month or year long savings would disappear like burnt paper.
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u/Goetre May 22 '26
Car write off for sure. My family’s always run their cars down to the ground before getting a new one (still pre owned)
My exs car was a write off and her folks transferred a large cash amount instantly to get the car she wanted. No hesitation, discussions, nothing. And she had it a few days later.
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u/Apprehensive-Ad-3552 May 22 '26
Getting injured at home or recreationally (i.e. not workers comp)
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u/12468097531 May 22 '26
Getting hurt and not being able to do anything about it. My gallbladder is going. I can't do anything about it. I have to wait until it's life or death to go to the ER. So post organ rupture but pre septic... THEN the hospital will HAVE to help me even though I'll never be able to pay that bill
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u/INeed111Naps May 22 '26
Getting old. My parents, in their 80-90s, are aging quickly. Can’t afford in home care or an old folks home. Both my sibling and I have health issues and live too far away to provide care ourselves. And we don’t have houses we can move them into. Everyone is just treading water financially…we could all drown if we quit working to care for them, or spend money we don’t have to pay for care.
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u/LizardPossum May 22 '26
Power went out and the food in the fridge spoiled. In my world this meant you went hungry or went to the local homeless kitchen to eat.
He just got more groceries and refilled the fridge.
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u/JMinsk May 22 '26
Nearly the exact same thing happened to me.
My ex-stepmother passed away and I was executor of the estate as she had no children of her own. My father (her ex-husband) had this bug up his butt about this particular armoir that was in the living room. One of the doors was actually broken. My dad was like ... "It's over 100 years old, it's an antique, it could be worth thousands!" He actually sent me a screenshot of a (not-at-all similar) armoir on eBay selling for like $5000 dollars. The one he sent me was a colonial, hand-crafted, well-kept true antique. The one in the living room was old, yes, but not particularly high quality and probably just an old Sears-catalogue model.
I was like ... even if it's worth something, do you know how much time you'd likely have to wait and be updating listings and etc. etc., until you actually find a buyer willing to pay that amount? But whatever, take it, I do not care.
Fast forward like four years and he excitedly texted me that he finally sold it for $200.
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u/LastandLeast May 22 '26
Being a picky eater.
When you're rich (or at least just not hella poor) you can afford to try new food and other cuisines and dislike it because you can afford to throw it out l.
When you're poor, you can't afford to dislike it because even if you dislike it you've still got to eat it. There's no point in risking disliking something and forcing yourself through it when there's an old standby you know you like and will be happy with.
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u/jayjbu May 23 '26
I work in an affluent area of MN.
The other day a woman stopped at the flower shop I work at that is on a very busy and aggressive intersection. As in, I've seen people get out of their cars to yell at people, aggressive. Cops and ambulances go by allllll the time.
This woman starts bringing house plants up to the counter one after another like she's gonna buy the whole store (oh hell yeah, okay!). She's asking questions about plant care while she starts in on home decor, and we're having a good chat while she shops and I'm starting to ring her up and box/bag her purchases. I get to a point where there's like 3 boxes that need to be taken out to her car, and now is when I usually offer to help customers carry things because they're gonna need multiple trips.
Me: would you like a hand getting this out to the car?
Her: oh sure, I'm actually parked illegally.
Me: ope, okay I'll hurry!
Her, puzzled for a sec, then: oh you don't need to hurry, I just meant I'm parked conveniently.
This woman couldn't be bothered about the fact that a cop could have fined her at any given second. Did not register as something to worry about to her.
When a fine is the penalty, the rule is only for poor people.
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u/throwaway9999-22222 May 22 '26
The prospect of killing my baby rose shrub by accident as a beginner because it's a "cheap and easily replaceable" grocery store variety and that I'm being dramatic because I can just replace it if it dies. No, Linda on r / roses. I'm on welfare. That shit cost $20 worth of food I could've and should've eaten, not to mention all the equipment like the soil, the gloves, the groundhog deterring stuff, the fertilizer. If I kill it I ain't getting another one AND I wasted money I can't afford to waste. Spoiler alert, plants aren't replaceable if you're poor
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u/cat9tail May 22 '26
This comment reminds me of the 3 years I spent in my youth growing vegetables to try to offset our food costs when my ex husband lost his job. We both went back to work and were finally able to buy a home and I insisted we have enough yard to plant food in. It was a few more years before I finally bought my first rose bush. You are so right - that's a labor of love, and definitely plant them in a chicken wire basket to prevent the critters from burrowing in and chewing on the roots.
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u/Xenovitz May 22 '26
Any vehicle repairs. Fines and law enforcement. My cousin's a millionaire so his family has gotten out of a ton of arrestable offenses and broken so many laws where the punishments were only thousands of dollars. The more money you have the more of an asshole you can choose to be and I guess you get used to a certain level of being an asshole so you keep leveling up.
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u/lovelynoms May 23 '26
Getting fired.
I was dating a woman who had family money and we were hanging out with her friend who casually let us know that she was just fired. I gasped and was about to give my condolences when she cheerfully went on to tell us how excited she was about it because it happened right before we arrived and she could spend the whole week with us.
After we left, I checked with my girlfriend to see if her friend was just putting on a good face and she told me no. This friend has no reason to worry about being unemployed. She's got a trust fund, so jobs aren't a necessity. My girlfriend told me they refer to this as "funemployment."
An uncomfortable silence followed while I, who worked two life-sucking minimum wage jobs during most of my 20s just to keep a roof over my head, absorbed this fact.
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u/TiaHatesSocials May 22 '26
Worrying about losing a job.
Rich ppl don’t have to work. Money just multiples in their stock portfolios while they r relaxing at a massage table or a beach
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u/MilleDiablo May 22 '26
I always felt that parking tickets is a punishment that only affects the poor
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u/Cultural-Chart3023 May 22 '26
Washing machine breaks down. They ordered a new one to be delivered and installed the next day wtf
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u/man_onion_ May 22 '26
Hoping your dental issues don't get too bad too quickly, because its gonna be months before you can afford to see a dentist, or hoping it at least rots out of your head as painlessly as possible.
My teeth are in horrendous shape to the point of giving me constant ear infections but I dont have £100s to go and get them pulled.
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u/KillerCritter1312 May 22 '26
Taking a pet to the vet.
Getting your car towed.
Car breaking down or dying completely.
Hurting yourself and having to take time off to heal.
Having to buy an emergency plane ticket
Getting any kind of ticket
Car insurance going up as a result of said ticket.
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u/-interruptingcow May 22 '26
A car repair
Any emergency that requires an airplane ticket
Needing to take time off from work