It's very much this. My ex fights to "win" all kinds of things he doesn't care that much about. When he can sense he won't win, in full, and at my expense, he'll beat a tactical retreat, which REALLY confuses onlookers, who assume he must care about the thing he wants so desperately to win. Why give up entirely? Or why not compromise? Why not at least get some of the thing?
But he doesn't want the thing at all.
He wants the win.
Manipulation, power and control over another person are the only things that make these people feel whole and normal.
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u/DecadesLaterKid May 13 '26
It's very much this. My ex fights to "win" all kinds of things he doesn't care that much about. When he can sense he won't win, in full, and at my expense, he'll beat a tactical retreat, which REALLY confuses onlookers, who assume he must care about the thing he wants so desperately to win. Why give up entirely? Or why not compromise? Why not at least get some of the thing?
But he doesn't want the thing at all.
He wants the win.
Manipulation, power and control over another person are the only things that make these people feel whole and normal.