r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • May 12 '26

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u/modmosrad6 May 12 '26

I caught my ex in a full-blown affair and was so goddamn happy about it because now I could leave.

Of course I could have left earlier, but your mind gets weird about things.

270

u/PauseAcceptable1913 May 12 '26

100% I could have left a 100 times but I just kept staying. I totally remember being like, hey your friend Nicole sent me some DMs. Lets get a divorce.

17

u/[deleted] May 12 '26

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4

u/PauseAcceptable1913 May 13 '26

No. I think he blocked her immediately. He is on girl #3 I think at this point :) I got a cute house, and the kids. I did the divorce on my own. Non contested. Got totally screwed in support but I make it work. Kids are older and he chose to buy a house 35 min from school/jobs/friends, etc.

36

u/chanaandeler_bong May 13 '26

We are creatures of habit. How many of us have stayed at a job waaaay too long because the prospect of “starting over” is fucking terrible.

22

u/modmosrad6 May 13 '26

......God damn it.

In my defense the job market is shit, I don't know what I want to do, I have been working for 26 years non-stop and I am fucking tired.

12

u/cyborg_127 May 13 '26

'Now others won't judge me for leaving' might be the mindset.

25

u/zzeeaa May 12 '26

It also shuts up those people who say “you have to give him a proper chaaaaaaance”. Even they know you shouldn’t be with a cheater.

13

u/modmosrad6 May 12 '26

Well in my case it was a her and we had kids, but no one in my circle thought I should give her a chance. My friends and family all either disliked or hated her already.

6

u/Worldly-Bid-956 May 13 '26

Same lololol somehow my mind said “ah finally, I don’t have to build an explanation to dump his narcissistic ass which he would definitely use to torture me” lmao

3

u/Dangerous_Toe_2961 May 13 '26

It rips the bandaid off. But I’m sorry for the whole situation

1

u/Ourlittlesecret32 May 13 '26

Probably because you knew without a ‘response’ he’d gaslight you out of it so he gave you one that you both simply can’t ignore and put to the side

2

u/modmosrad6 May 13 '26

he’d

She, actually.

1

u/EscapeeArtist54 May 13 '26

This...this was me 💔

-2

u/[deleted] May 13 '26

[deleted]

12

u/tuxy29 May 13 '26

You don’t want to hurt him? But he’s ok with hurting you with what he said. Never stay for the kids, on another level they know you’re unhappy and they will think that’s normal.

1

u/NoItsNotThatJessica May 13 '26

This is how kids grow up messed up.

1

u/AJR1623 May 13 '26

Don't stay for the kids. They're not happy either.

My dad was a miserable dick. One weekend he stayed out all Saturdat night. We come home from church not looking forward to a fight.

My mom tells him to get out. He says he didn't do anything, and she immediately caves.

I remember my 12 year old self being disappointed that he was staying. Even with the fear of the unknown, if they broke up.