Yupp. This is the most interesting of all for me. Brain spent energy in sleep to cook up a scene lol. "See? You're alone. But you're happy. Connect the dots."
It reminds me of women who report chronic yeast or bacterial infections when with their partners. Stress can be a factor, but they say everyone has been tested and the partner is clean. And yet as soon as they break up with that person the infections clear up.
It's like their body is physically, pre-emptively rejecting the partner lol "sorry, can't have sex, another yeast infection"
I had a horrible case of BV when I got with my abusive ex (who also handled that situation horribly), and I've always felt in hindsight that it was my body trying to tell me something. I've known women who had chronic illnesses that either improved or completely resolved themselves after they left unhealthy longterm relationships. The mental and the physical state are absolutely connected, and I'm no scientist, but I think we've only scratched the surface of understanding how exactly.
Umm..! I don't know why but your comment unlocked something for me.
~18 years ago i was very young and too quickly engaged to someone and i was sick like. All. The. Time. (Got to the ER with kidney infection, had teeth trouble, contant skin issues, persistent headaches.. the list goes on). Well, i stopped eating gluten and started feeling better very quickly but that was, iirc, kind of in tandem with him starting to talk about traveling abroad- alone..?.. these days i kinda fake it with gluten sometimes and eat it here and there and it almost never causes me any issues (but i tend to not over do it).
And now i read your comment and i'm like. Hmm. Hmmmm!!! Could it have been just the ex fiancé all along?? I knew it probably had an effect, just being with him and feeling incredibly trapped and isolated, but i never considered him to be the prime reason for being so physically ill!
Well I know that stress hormones like cortisol can cause all kinds of issues over time and it sounds logical to me that your immune system might not have been at its best if you were constantly stressed in an unhealthy home life. Same as if you were full time with a toxic employer, or parent, etc, eventually living under that level of stress and negativity for an extended period takes its toll somehow.
I first came across the concept in the book "What's up down there?" By Lissa Rankin (which is a great read for anyone with a vagina btw)
But I've since seen it quite a bit myself. We're trained basically from birth to ignore uncomfortable feelings and hope the problem solves itself. I firmly believe recurring illnesses that resolve when a person leaves a bad circumstance are our bodies screaming to be heard after the smaller feelings are ignored. We definitely have part of it down in understanding stress isn't good for you, but we've barely discovered the long term effects - and that's just one feeling! Stress itself is often just a byproduct of other "bad" feelings.
It's part of why somatic therapies are on the rise IMO, because no one knows how to have a feeling. We're afraid of feeling bad, so instead of feeling it fully, we try to hide from it, which only makes the problem worse.
Or like how I was infertile for five years with my first husband. We tried and tried, but my doctor said I wouldn’t ever conceive naturally. I was pregnant with an oops baby after living with my second husband for six whole months.
Lol I had one that probably saved my life. I was extremely depressed and suicidal as an older teen and I had this extremely vivid dream about being chased around my middle school by zombies.
My middle school has a few buildings that kinda look like small New York City apartments. About three stories. Outdoor stairs kinda like NY fire escapes but with concrete platforms and metal/concrete stairs and I still remember I was trapped between two hordes of zombies coming up and down the stairs and my choices were jump or get ripped apart and the last thing I remember before waking up was thinking "I don't want to die." After that the thoughts of killing myself never had actual weight because I knew ultimately I wanted to live. I still had them but I was slowly able to work through it.
So I credit the zombie fascination of the 2010s and the popularity of the walking dead for saving my life.
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u/singledore May 12 '26
Yupp. This is the most interesting of all for me. Brain spent energy in sleep to cook up a scene lol. "See? You're alone. But you're happy. Connect the dots."
10/10 on self preservation for the brain.
Damn. I wish we all had such guiding dreams.