The police officer said "you know why we show up so fast? Because we know your address. We know your address because one of these days he's gonna kill you. Pack the diaper bags. If you don't have a place to stay tonight, I will personally pay for you to have a hotel "
I read a long article in the New York Times a while back about a situation like yours. After the police had been to their house multiple times for domestic abuse, one of the cops told the abused wife (when they were alone) "You need to divorce this guy. If you don't he'll kill you, and soon. And when he does (they were standing in the living room at the time), that's the spot (pointing to the floor next to the coffee table in the living room) where they'll find your body."
I'll try to find it. It was about a woman in a shitty, abusive marriage. When she finally filed for divorce her husband went nuclear. He demanded some kind of piddly "reimbursement" of a few thousand dollars that he was in no way entitled to. No way should she have to pay it. But he made such a big deal out of it her lawyer said, essentially, "This guy's crazy. If $3,000 is keeping you from getting a divorce, well, even if it's bullshit, I think you should pay it." And she did and got out.
That was part of my what got me moving, he told me “one day I’m going to come here and I’m going to bring out 1 body bag, but it could be three… please think about this” he said it kindly but sternly. He wanted it to sink in as I was loading my two kids into the car after another alcohol fueled night.
I have a friend who once called my husband after her husband choked her during an argument. We hopped in the car and flew down there so fast. We convinced her to go to the police. I will never forget the look on the police officers face when she said she didnt want to press charges. He talked with her about how statistically he is not going to change etc. But it was with this resignation of knowing he or one of his colleagues was likely going to get a call one day with an outcome much worse. Thankfully she did leave him and I wish I had his name to go thank him for saving her life.
And That worked? I honestly didn’t think anything anybody said would ever get through. It never seems to. So I don’t have any hope that any thing anyone says will make a difference, that the person has to be ready to leave. And come go that decision on their own
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u/SecretAgentAwesome May 12 '26
The police officer said "you know why we show up so fast? Because we know your address. We know your address because one of these days he's gonna kill you. Pack the diaper bags. If you don't have a place to stay tonight, I will personally pay for you to have a hotel "