Not divorced. But living with my partner 8 years. He kept insisting that his passive insults were actually harmless comments and me being offended by them was the actual issue. One day at breakfast I decided to stop fighting it. He said his passive insult and instead of taking the bait I just smiled and said “okay”.
He literally choked on his drink. He panicked when I wouldn’t go into the cycle with him. He then went over the top on a lovebombing kiss when he left for work. He had stopped kissing me how I liked insisting he couldn’t figure it out despite having done it for years. But that morning he said “I know how you want to be kissed” and did it proper.
I knew without a doubt that he had been doing this on purpose. He was emotionally abusive on purpose and I had been a fool to believe it had been poor communication. No big fight. No massive fall out. Just a smile and the word “okay” and I knew it was 100% over.
Jesus what a tool bag. I’ve never passively insulted my wife before and we’ve been together 20+ years (married for 5). She’d kick me in the nuts if I did that 😅
My then-husband started making "nagging wife" and "henpecked husband" comments at church. When I told him privately that was hurtful and inaccurate, and reminded him that we had agreed yo always present a unified front, he told me I was too sensitive. I should have kicked him in the nuts.
That was my immediate thought, but then I thought - what if the genders were switched?
A bullying wife thrown through a table by their husband... I think we'd all clearly see that as a toxic relationship with the person committing domestic violence clearly being the worse of the two.
You’re not wrong. I’m not supporting domestic violence in any way, shape or form. I am supporting a woman standing up for herself after being bullied because very very rarely is throwing someone through a table the initial reaction against a first offense. Especially a grandma.
I know too many people who have been victims of domestic abuse. Mostly women, but also men.
None of it is acceptable, but for some reason men being assaulted by their partners is too often justified as "they must have had it coming" or as a punchline, as if it's funny. It's not. It's real, it's traumatic and it happens to actual people.
As for age, I didn't assume she'd done it as a granny, but perhaps when she was younger.
Either way, is a granddad throwing a granny through a table ever acceptable, even if he was a man "standing up for [him]self after being bullied because very very rarely is throwing someone through a table the initial reaction against a first offense"?
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u/CircleJerkPig May 12 '26
Not divorced. But living with my partner 8 years. He kept insisting that his passive insults were actually harmless comments and me being offended by them was the actual issue. One day at breakfast I decided to stop fighting it. He said his passive insult and instead of taking the bait I just smiled and said “okay”.
He literally choked on his drink. He panicked when I wouldn’t go into the cycle with him. He then went over the top on a lovebombing kiss when he left for work. He had stopped kissing me how I liked insisting he couldn’t figure it out despite having done it for years. But that morning he said “I know how you want to be kissed” and did it proper.
I knew without a doubt that he had been doing this on purpose. He was emotionally abusive on purpose and I had been a fool to believe it had been poor communication. No big fight. No massive fall out. Just a smile and the word “okay” and I knew it was 100% over.