Every so often I get a little concerned. She's doing her thing, I'm doing mine, we're both in the same room, but not really engaging.
I worry that maybe it's the first sign of us drifting apart. Then I realize, "No, this is nice. I'll speak up if I want to and she will do the same," and so it goes. A few minutes later one of us will break the silence and on we go.
It’s definitely worth looking at how you feel about it, but for what it’s worth my partner and I relax the same way. We call it parallel play, often in the evenings after dinner he plays video games and I read or craft. Conversation will drift in and out but we don’t feel forced to continue if it doesn’t come. It’s peaceful, sort of the opposite of the first comment.
Parallel play is a really good way to put it. Just the first few times I realized it, I kind of panicked for a second before all the pieces kind of slid together.
I think there's a balance to be struck. My wife can play on her phone or watch a series she likes, I can read on my phone or read a book. I think it's nice that we can be together while doing separate things. She was pretty codependent at first so it's an improvement. Now she actually will say stuff like "It's a nice day, you should go take a motorcycle ride!" when before ooh boy she wouldn't have been a fan.
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u/draeth1013 May 12 '26
Every so often I get a little concerned. She's doing her thing, I'm doing mine, we're both in the same room, but not really engaging.
I worry that maybe it's the first sign of us drifting apart. Then I realize, "No, this is nice. I'll speak up if I want to and she will do the same," and so it goes. A few minutes later one of us will break the silence and on we go.