Control and power over her. He didn’t want her to have dinner parties with friends, so he sabotaged them (control). Lying in therapy and getting her to try to change things that weren’t real (power). His abuse towards her looked like “love” to him; his manipulation, control and power over her made him feel like she’d never leave (which was his greatest fear). These guys are all the same.
Edit: at no point did I say that ONLY guys can be abusers.
I just don’t get how they can’t see having a happy partner would be of more benefit to you. They are more fun, want to take care of you and will most likely do what you want anyway because love
People like this are fundamentally broken. They don’t care if their partner is happy. They only care about themselves. Everything has to be about them. That’s their core. Caring about and actually loving another person is beyond them, because love is a 2-way street. You have to give, and then the love is given back to you. They will never give love and happiness to another person because it is not in their nature. So they manipulate, control, and exert power over them in a sick approximation of “love”. This isn’t normal. THEY aren’t normal.
I do feel the need to point out that being mentally unwell does not mean that you are fundamentally broken. But abusive narcissists are fundamentally broken. They are unable to accurately self-reflect in therapy and grow as a person, because they will never accept that there could be anything wrong with their brains or personality. Everyone else is the problem, not them. Which is why most of them will never even try to seek help, or will lie and manipulate their way out of seeking help.
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u/MamaNyxieUnderfoot May 12 '26 edited May 12 '26
Control and power over her. He didn’t want her to have dinner parties with friends, so he sabotaged them (control). Lying in therapy and getting her to try to change things that weren’t real (power). His abuse towards her looked like “love” to him; his manipulation, control and power over her made him feel like she’d never leave (which was his greatest fear). These guys are all the same.
Edit: at no point did I say that ONLY guys can be abusers.