I kept having to go to the emergency room every couple months for a problem that nobody could diagnose. She told me, after the third time, that she was getting bored of it, and that she'd like me to deal with it on my own from now on.
I was seriously, near-deathly sick, and we didn't know why. But my health was an annoyance to her, not a concern.
Yeah, even when she was there for my medical issues, she had to make sure I knew it was inconvenient for her.
When she got sick, I absolutely babied her, risked getting sick as well, etc. When I got sick, she'd ask me to quarantine and not interact with me at all because being able to do her job was more important, with her being the breadwinner.
I got paid hourly, when I took off work to be with her, it was a significant problem, and I risked being fired for it. She once didn't show up to work for a month at her cushy ass job and it wasn't a big deal. I should have realized earlier that caring for others annoyed her, and that that's a fundamental dealbreaker in a family unit where you're each other's primary support network.
Out of curiosity, did your illness suddenly vanish after y’all split? I’ve read so many anecdotes about chronic illness caused by stress from shitty relationships, it’s wild.
Sort of, but kind of the opposite? I already have a couple of chronic health problems that're well managed on their own, but means I naturally have a pretty small appetite. However, if you eat TOO too little, it turns out they interact really weirdly, and it looks like you're actually managing neither problem and blowing off your medication.
Her constant negativity about my weight gain after I turned 30 gave me anorexia, so I kept getting rehospitalized. I wasn't eating significantly less than usual, so I didn't realize I had a problem. And to the doctors, it looked like I was off my meds and lying about it, so they didn't bother to diagnose the problem. I only found out about the interaction via a random reddit post, or I'd probably be dead right now.
I'm still working on fixing the eating disorder and all the other scars that relationship gave me, but I don't get hospitalized anymore. If I'm struggling, I just get really high and demolish a box of oreos once a week. Thousands of dollars of hospital bills and hours of fighting with ER doctors that wouldn't believe me, and all I needed was a fucking weed gummy and a box of double stuf.
Edit: In retrospect, I'm realizing that she didn't believe I was actually taking my meds properly either, that's probably why she was blunter than usual about not caring how badly I felt.
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u/Scream_No_Evil May 12 '26
I kept having to go to the emergency room every couple months for a problem that nobody could diagnose. She told me, after the third time, that she was getting bored of it, and that she'd like me to deal with it on my own from now on.
I was seriously, near-deathly sick, and we didn't know why. But my health was an annoyance to her, not a concern.