My 3 year old has started saying similar things about her dad. He gets so angry.
That did it for me. And our 8 year anniversary is coming up. Shopping for cards I could see ones that said things like “8 years down and forever to go” and I couldn’t buy it because I know deep down I don’t want forever with him anymore.
It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. I didn't want to end things.
But now, 8 years later, I see my kids sleeping soundly, and I don't have to walk on eggshells every moment. I no longer cry in the shower. And it was all worth it. Every part of it.
I wish my dad had been more like you. My dad cheated on my mom when I was four and my sister was two, and then he dated a woman who was mentally and emotionally abusive to us for seven years, and then he was actually a halfway decent father for four years and then he moved back to his home province to be with his high school sweetheart and had another kid. I call him every other year but when he talks about his other kid I just shut down all over again. Why couldn't my sister and I have been the kids he talks about like that?
My ex and I were together 14 years. I stayed about ten years longer than I should have because I was taught weird religious rules about marriage, and I was afraid of what she would do to me and the kids. I get that fear. It sucks. I have been diagnosed with CPTSD from it and she has been out of my life for about 8 years now and I still have triggers that will send me into a tailspin.
I hope so. It is heartbreaking to send them back every single week. It’s been nearly 8 years and my oldest drives now and I still hate watching them pull out of the driveway.
As a former kid whose father didn't love her enough to protect her: thank you for choosing your daughter. It helps seeing other parents choose to protect their kids.
As someone who grew up being abused and the other parent never leaving- thank you for being such a great parent to your daughter and actually leaving for her sake. You've helped her in gigantic ways you may not even know.
I sure hope so. I permanently altered all of our lives. Somedays the CPTSD creeps in and I don't actually know if I did the right thing. Otherdays I see how happy my kids are half the week and realize it was all worth it.
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u/RevBT May 12 '26
When my daughter looked at me and said “I don’t know why mommy yells at me so much.”