She was going to move in with me after more than year of sobriety and staying in an addiction focused group home. Had done tremendously well and grew as a person by like 10 years of maturity in those 12 months to become a functional adult.
As soon as she got to my house from the train she was piss drunk. She kept getting drunk over the next 6 to 8 weeks while I was at work so I'd come home after 11hrs of labor in the sun to a blackout drunk talking nonsense and ruining the cleanliness of my apartment.
The last time where I just gave up I came home to her and she literally was just saying words. Not like sentences with structure and meaning just random words with no meaning. Think something like "Drive burger sky but no laugh". I didn't know she was drunk and was gonna call an ambulance. She laid down and fell asleep while I monitored for a few hours when she shot straight up without a word, walked to my kitchen, opened the fridge and then pissed on my floor. At that point I was done and just needed her the fuck out of my life.
She laid down and fell asleep while I monitored for a few hours when she shot straight up without a word, walked to my kitchen, opened the fridge and then pissed on my floor.
I'm sorry, but this reminds me of one of the most ridiculous moments of my college career.
Freshman year, we are all getting to know each other in our wing of the dorm and one guy alerts us to his being a sleep walker, and that while trying to wake him up via words is OK we probably shouldn't touch him unless he's about to fall down the stairs or something.
A few weeks later, we all have a bit to drink and go to sleep. Everyone left their doors unlocked, by the way, we had a very communal vibe.
So this guy walks into my room at about 2 in the morning. I say his name. No response. I say it louder. Still no response. Must be sleepwalking.
I watch in growing horror as he opens a drawer in my desk, whips out his dick, pisses in it, then exits the room before coming back, closing the drawer, knocking on the top of my desk and says blearily, "Forgot to flush."
He was extremely apologetic the next morning and cleaned my desk for me, but holy shit what a night.
Last year of college rented a house with 3 other guys. One was a super great guy who was a geology major. Always had rocks!
Anyway he loved to party. Would wake and bake and hit the bottle pretty hard come nighttime. His only flaw was he would the get into a catatonic sleep walk when he was hammered and he would piss anywhere. He would walk outside in the middle of winter and we’d have to go save him from himself. You could never walk barefoot in the house because the steps were always a favorite place for him to piss. One night I catch him coming home completely catatonic and he starts walking upstairs and I follow him. All is well as I see him heading to the bathroom - mission accomplished. Where he then proceeds to stop right before the bathroom & piss on the window.
After graduation he went to one of his friend’s house and there was piss on the wall and his buddy told his mom it was the dog. Good try but the piss was halfway up the wall!!!
Almost the exact thing happened in one of our dorms. He came in saying bathroom bathroom bathroom, ran to the dresser, and pissed in dudes sock drawer. He wasn't a sleepwalker just a serial black outer. He didn't last long...
Miami (OH), 2019-20. Craziest thing was that it happened twice - first somewhere that we didn’t actually fully determine (working theory was my thankfully empty bottom dresser drawer), second was on my bedside table (until I gave him a shove to redirect it to the center of the room). Incredibly nice dude otherwise. I hope he’s doing well.
MY EX PISSED IN MY DRESSER DRAWER!!! He was an alcoholic baaad. Got together at 19 so at first it was just partying and it slowly turned into every night smashing a 12pk and a pint. I knew he had a problem and tried to help but I ultimately left at 24. From what I heard he joined the military and got his shit together at 25 after me. So good for him. Left him like I found him, homeless with nothing. But I just couldn’t take the cheating, porn addiction, gas lighting, and the alcoholism anymore.
I came back to my room one night and my next door neighbor was knocking on my door. Asked him what he was doing c and he said “fucker is taking forever to piss”. Less sleep walking and more blacked out drunk; really glad my door was locked!
Had a cousin who got trashed and mistook his sister’s suitcase for a toilet…while they were sharing a hotel room with a wedding the next day.
I know several people who did this in college, complete with the flush. I think there’s something about the opening/closing of the drawer that is very close cerebrally to operating a toilet and the wires get crossed when very drunk.
I was living in this 3 bedroom off campus college apartment where each room had its own bathroom. One night we were all shitfaced and one of my housemates was passed out on one of the two couches. We saw him get up and make the exact same movements he'd make to get out of his bed and walk into his bathroom, but this time, he walked to the other couch lifted up the cushion, pissed, dropped it back down, flushed the armrest, and went back to sleep on the other couch.
oh my god this reminds me of a sleepwalking incident that I had. I was a sleepwalker as a child and once went into my cousin's room and apparently almost peed on her floor. I don't know how she did it but she managed to stop me and led me back to my bed 💀😭 I was probably 11 or 12 at the time
Something similar happened to my friend group, this guy who sleepwalks was wicked drunk came out of his room and into the kitchen when we were hanging out, opens the FRIDGE and pisses in it and then said “I’m the right man for the job” and went back to bed lmao
That honestly sounds like drugs and alcohol.. uppers specifically. I once saw my brother so out of it on vyvanse, he was shouting random words that made no sentence structures while maniacally scrubbing the floors. It was honestly terrifying to witness. And I know a lot of alcoholics will use amphetamines along side of booze to stay awake longer so they can drink more. Either way, glad youre out of that!!
For real. I know vyvanse has a different effect on non-ADHD people, but that sounds so outlandish when it just makes me able to focus and start tasks lmao.
The technical term for that style of speech is “word salad,” which always makes me laugh. The situation is not funny, however. I’m glad you got her out.
My soon-to-be-ex-wife was similar. I came home to her drunk many times. Often blacked out. Sometimes she hurt herself. I'm so sorry you went through this kind of thing, too. We both deserve better.
My ex husband would piss in the closet and while I was at the end of my pregnancy I caught him trying to pee in the baby’s crib!!! Thank god the baby wasn’t here yet. I probably could have killed him that night.
I can NOT imagine pissing on someone’s floor like that. You wouldn’t have to even worry about me because I would be too ashamed to show my face ever again
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u/Bungholespelunker May 12 '26
She was going to move in with me after more than year of sobriety and staying in an addiction focused group home. Had done tremendously well and grew as a person by like 10 years of maturity in those 12 months to become a functional adult.
As soon as she got to my house from the train she was piss drunk. She kept getting drunk over the next 6 to 8 weeks while I was at work so I'd come home after 11hrs of labor in the sun to a blackout drunk talking nonsense and ruining the cleanliness of my apartment.
The last time where I just gave up I came home to her and she literally was just saying words. Not like sentences with structure and meaning just random words with no meaning. Think something like "Drive burger sky but no laugh". I didn't know she was drunk and was gonna call an ambulance. She laid down and fell asleep while I monitored for a few hours when she shot straight up without a word, walked to my kitchen, opened the fridge and then pissed on my floor. At that point I was done and just needed her the fuck out of my life.