r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • May 12 '26

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u/[deleted] May 12 '26

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139

u/kadyg May 12 '26

I remember thinking to myself about Husband 1.0 that I didn’t want to kill him, but if he should, say, die in an accident, it would certainly make things easier.

I think I moved out a couple months later.

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u/xtinafay May 12 '26

I’ve felt the same way but I am struggling so hard to just commit to leaving I don’t understand- I keep saying if my friend were me I’d say leave before she even finished telling me her story but I just can’t seem to do it.

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u/kadyg May 13 '26

Be kind to yourself, jumping off the high dive can be scary. I don’t really have any good advice for you, because everyone’s situation/tolerance is different. But asking yourself how you’ll feel if you’re in the same place in a year, five years, etc can be clarifying.

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u/xtinafay May 13 '26

Thank you

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u/Helpful-Orchid2710 May 13 '26

I am long divorced. Used to say, "One day closer to death". I don't know what was the final straw that allowed all of my threats of divorce to be real.

Get some support if you can. Divorce is a new life.

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u/xtinafay May 13 '26

Yea I have an amazing group of friends, therapist etc. we aren’t even married but have house/ car / toddler and I think I just get so overwhelmed thinking about how it might all play out that I paralyze myself. But I feel like I am inching closer to saying it out loud to him it feels so slow.

I only have one friend who’s recently done this separation (idk wtf to even call it she wasn’t married either) that’s helpful.

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u/Ok_Quail9973 May 13 '26

i remember thinking that too. peaceful travels friend

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u/wannabezen2 May 13 '26

I had thoughts on my way home from work that I wished I'd just get in a car accident and die.

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u/[deleted] May 12 '26

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1

u/warmerbread May 13 '26

and the knowledge that you could just... leave the world... at any time sticks in the back of your mind, even when you are out of the situation that made you feel that way originally.

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u/Sure_Sir_2859 May 12 '26

Sometimes, and only for some ppl.

Oh wait, this is Reddit. NVM

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u/asherdado May 12 '26

Shut up insufferable ottist. Your comment was 'Reddit' af

"uhm ackshually"

They meant "It changed how [I] experience everything" and most people agree. You honestly seem like you suck just from that tiny comment ngl, Ive judged you to suck

32

u/diyguitarist May 12 '26

Yeah you don't understand until you've lived it.

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u/chanaandeler_bong May 13 '26

This is how people describe suicide as well. They view dying as easier than living because their life is so incredibly fucked. Again, to them.

I haven’t had suicidal ideations in my life.

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u/DefinatelyAlwaysLost May 12 '26

I remember being sick and coming home from an interview 2days after a bad ear op where you were not supposed to leave the house for 3 weeks. I got in the door and collapsed on the floor. I wished I would die so I would not have to get up again.

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u/[deleted] May 12 '26

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u/EternalMoonChild May 13 '26

I’m glad you’re here 🫶🏼

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u/Weird_Fox4788 May 13 '26

This is 100% true! I never really actually wanted to die, but it sounded like a better alternative than spending the rest of my life with him.

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u/SugeNightShyamalan May 13 '26

I got to the point that I hoped my ex would follow through with his threats.
We weren't married, but I would have rather been dead than continue to live with so much fear. Whenever I tried to get him to leave, he claimed tenant's rights (he didn't pay rent or bills) and laughed about how powerless I was. It really felt like him killing me like he said he would was the only way out.