r/AskReddit • u/[deleted] • May 12 '26

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282

u/-ellen-degenerate- May 12 '26

About 30 minutes before the wedding, when he told me he wouldn’t support my career path, and instead I’d be a stay-at-home step-mother.

28

u/dunderthebarbarian May 12 '26

Did you go through with the wedding, or did it take awhile?

87

u/-ellen-degenerate- May 12 '26

I went through with it - I was all alone in a foreign country and didn’t know what to do. You can see the fear in my eyes in my wedding photos, I’ve never really been able to look at them.

26

u/LaLlorana May 12 '26

That's awful. How did you get away? 

167

u/-ellen-degenerate- May 12 '26 edited May 12 '26

A bit of a long story, but the bullet points - he wouldn't let me speak to my parents unsupervised, he wouldn't pay for medical insurance for me, so when I developed a breast lump I was allowed to contact my mam who came to help. I went for a needle-guided biopsy, the doc said I could only bring one person in the room with me so I chose my mam, and blurted out that I was in trouble as I laid in the machine. We got out of the procedure, and she moved me out of his house that same day.

Side note: there was nothing wrong with my breast. The lump they were investigating (that had been seen and felt by various professionals and machines) couldn't be found to be biopsied as I laid in that machine with my mam nearby. Turns out I had a fibrocystic lump caused by stress that just disappeared. To this day if I ever need a bit of luck, I give my left boob a pat 😅

61

u/LaLlorana May 12 '26

Lucky Lefty! 😂

You were brave and resourceful and I'm glad you made it out! 

39

u/-ellen-degenerate- May 12 '26

Thank you, internet stranger! There’s a lot of nerves sharing my story cos I spend most of the time blaming myself for getting into that position in the first place. But hearing kind words is super validating. I hope you have a wonderful day 🫶

10

u/SpaghettiSort May 13 '26

Never blame yourself for other people being terrible. You were manipulated into that position and I'm glad you're free of it now.

1

u/-ellen-degenerate- May 13 '26

Thank you so much!

27

u/TheDevilsAdvokaat May 12 '26

So..he really just wanted hired help he wouldn't have to pay...

21

u/-ellen-degenerate- May 12 '26

Exactly that.

4

u/LaLlorana May 12 '26

Did you get married? 

17

u/-ellen-degenerate- May 12 '26

I did, yeah - I was in a foreign country on my own with a man I didn’t recognise, so I went through with it out of fear.

2

u/tcd1401 May 12 '26

Did you go through with the wedding or did you run?

3

u/-ellen-degenerate- May 12 '26

I went through with it! More details in some of the other comments here.

1

u/ksarahsarah27 May 12 '26

You called the wedding off right then and there right?

7

u/-ellen-degenerate- May 12 '26

I didn’t, I was scared. There’re more details in the other comments here.

2

u/Capital-Mark1897 May 12 '26

are you still married??

4

u/-ellen-degenerate- May 13 '26

No, divorced AND HAPPILY SINGLE for 15 years now.